|
Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012 / 9:07 a.m. ~Dead Black Cat~ The drive began as it always does. Back out of parking space slowly and cautiously, as I can't see past the huge pickup trucks and SUV's surrounding me. Take a right, then look over the hill to the left, beyond which I will never be able to see, small worry someone will approach too fast, and that will be that, and take my next right, watching for those big potholes I think were recently filled. Looking for them, my eyes always trained to look in the gutters, along the curbs, anything other than white concrete catching my eye. Only a matter of yards and there was what seemed a piece of black tire, 18-wheeler retread like so often on the highways, the Interstates, only blacker. Only smoother. Only with a long tail extended to the right, toward the grass just beyond the white concrete gutter. I instantly knew it was an animal, I instantly knew it was a cat, I instantly knew it was someone's cat, I knew in an instant this he or this she was a cat, is no longer a cat, and is black as the starless sky, black as the deepest hole into which no one can see. Black cat lying on her side in the gutter, tail extended, like taking a sudden nap. Black cat suddenly very tired, black cat suddenly no longer looking to cross a busy street. Black cat suddenly never going to be patted again, or chase a butterfly again, or cover her poop in the dirt under the pine straw. Black cat never going to climb another tree, never going to sleep in her cozy bed in the warm rays of the sunshine coming in through the living room window. Black cat dead on the side of the road, on the side of my road, my morning road, my evening road, my way to work road, and my way home road, fresh, freshly dead, freshly killed, freshly ended, freshly extinguished. I drove ahead, looking, but not wanting to look, hoping she was dead, black cat, thinking what if she's not?, what if she is lying there on her side, bleeding internally, so pretty and solid black on the outside, so peaceful, yet in pain, or just unconscious temporarily?, what if I should do something?, thinking what would I do if I could?, I haven't the stomach for death, for the dead, I think we're gone when we die, we just go, we're no more, what would I do? I had no shovel, I had nothing to pick her up?, had I? Had I? Who will stop for her, who will gather her and bury her or take her for cremation, who will care for her in death? Is it necessary? Does it matter? For the living, perhaps, but for her, dead black cat?
But my heart hurts for dead black cat who died this morning. Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)
Recent Entries: It Was 40 Years Ago Today - 9:44 a.m. , Friday, Oct. 12, 2012 Dead Black Cat - 9:07 a.m. , Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012 As Seen From Outer Space - 1:07 a.m. , Saturday, Dec. 05, 2009 I Survived to Tell the Tale - 7:29 a.m. , Friday, Sept. 18, 2009 Reading My Life - 12:55 p.m. , Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009 
  |