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Thursday, Jun. 20, 2002 / 1:21 p.m. ~5 Steps To Ascension?~ The past several mornings I've slept so hard, so completely, my alarm has had to reach inside my dreams and yank me to consciousness. It's not fun, the yanking. It takes a while to lose the grogginess, to ease away from the dreams. This morning I was dreaming about being here, at work. The Indian woman from the IT department (that's Information Technology, not Information Services, or should it be? IS?) was in my cube, handing me a check for something like $3, and I want to write $3.22, but I don't think I could see the amount in the dream. Anyway, in reality she doesn't have anything at all to do with Payroll, nor management, so why would she be handing me a check? In the dream I sort of rolled my eyes, whoo hoo, a whole $3, so what? But she said something about this life, and then, "There are 5 steps to ascension." HUH? And in the dream I knew, oh, sure, right, that's right. Hah! 5 steps. Okay. (Whoa, just interrupted by phone call from hell. I need to shake this off somehow. Have I ever mentioned that Lulu cannot stop talking? How it's okay sometimes, but every single day, 9:00 to 6:00, the constant talking, to anyone who'll listen� Yiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!) So, anyway, yes, I saw the woman, the IT Dept woman, a few minutes ago, actually closer to 15 minutes ago as this writing is interrupted every so often, and I wanted to tell her, ask her what the 5 steps to ascension are, but she was on her way to lunch, and I didn't. I've got the dreaded PMS going on. I know it started last week, but I kept counting backwards on the calendar, thinking, no, it's too early. It cannot be. But it is. All the intense crankiness, the heightened sensual awareness (smells, sounds, TOO much!), the elevated body temp, the retaining of water, it's all so usual, but every time it's just so expectedly unexpected, or maybe it's just always so danged unpleasant! (MS Word recognizes "danged") Ascension. 5 steps. Oh yes, I'd nodded, I know this. In the dream we were here, but there were no overhead fluorescents, and wouldn't that be nice?, but maybe they were off, but why? Crazy dream. And I think I'm still groggy. 12:19 p.m., cubicle time. I was doing my laundry last night, including my new lovely night shirt from Land's End I got from UPS yesterday, and when it was done, and I put on said new lovely night shirt from Land's End, I realized, not for the first time, that my detergent, Cheer, stinks. I hate it. And I remembered, quite suddenly, how good Jon's shirt smelled when I was hugging him last week, so I wrote to him and asked what detergent he uses. Nothing more, I'm not going to even try, but he wrote back today, to say he buys whatever is on sale, and he has no idea, but will check later� and he goes on to tell me how he went to the FOX last night to see "Lord of the Rings". Like I might care. I have tickets to the whole Series, but I decided I did not really ever want to see that movie again, that 3 hours, or 3 1/2 hours, whichever it is, was too much the first time. I honestly thought it needed to be edited, pared down, that first viewing. That fight scene in the woods (hah, WHICH fight scene in the woods?) went on forever! That one guy dying, the dwarf or whatever, Jesus, he had arrows sticking out of him all over, but just kept getting back up for more. It was stupid. DIE already!, thought I. So, no, I didn't go. I stayed home, did my laundry and put on my new, freshly washed and smelly night shirt, read some diaries online, then watched Moby on Letterman, from bed. Why did he think he could tell me of his glorious evening with his friend Tim? And why didn't he just say, "My friend", why did he say, "My friend Tim"? Really. Yeah, it's PMS, I know. I know. It does crazy things to the body and the mind. But I wasn't trying to reestablish some sort of dialogue, whilst awaiting his detailed reply of why he doesn't want to see me, I just wanted to know what fucking laundry detergent he uses because Cheer (in combo with Bounce unscented) smells like caca and his shirt smelled fabulous - Jesus!) Oh, good news (I type totally dyslexically, it's insane, if there weren't a backspace key this would be unfit for anyone's eyes), I am reading the CURRENT issue of Entertainment Weekly now!!! In fact, if things go as planned, I'll be through with it today - Yeah, baby. I know the new one will most likely, if things go as planned, be in my mailbox tomorrow, but to be on the current issue is so great, I can hardly describe it. It's just great, is all. I even have a book to read for when I finish, in anticipation, one might say. Ooooooo, reading a book will be SO cool! I'm serious, I haven't read a book in months, just the free weekly and the EWs, and diary after diary online, of course, but a BOOK, I LOVE BOOKS!!!! This is so cool. I'm tired. My core is hot, but I'm wearing a sweater because I'm cold. I think I'll read until time for lunch. Also, also, also, JimmyUsual wrote about TOFU in his diary yesterday, and I got so excited leaving him a message about it in his guestbook that all I can think about now is getting some Chinese Takeout from what was once my favorite Chinese restaurant, intown of course. I brought the menu to work so I can order from the cube right before I leave. The only drawback, potentially, is getting stuck in rush hour traffic for the drive back, which leaves one thinking, me included, Why not just eat there? Well, because I like to order two or three entrees, possibly two appetizers, maybe soup, etc., and eat it all for days, and that is more conducive to me going and getting it and bringing it home to do with as I please. Oh, but I hunger for it. Tofu. Mmmmm� (also, I'm going to make my famous Tabouli recipe soon - I've made a list of ingredients I need to buy at the Farmer's Market - it has TOFU in it!) Cost of the War in Iraq
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