Saturday, Nov. 02, 2002 / 4:58 p.m.

~An Unconscious Visit From Hef~

I watched the Playboy Mansion tour featured on MTV's "Cribs" last night. So today I dreamed Hef was here. He had to use the bathroom and I was worried because I really need to clean the toilet, and you know men lift up the seat to pee standing up, and well, when you do that you can see all the mildew in there. It is a bowl of standing water after all. Stuff grows in there. You have to clean it. I just sit, evacuate, flush and go. So in the dream it was dirty and I started to tell him to wait, I'd clean it first, but I told him I live alone, I don't get a lot of visitors, ah, hell, whatever. Then I knew he was in there looking at the pictures on the walls, seeing my self portrait, the nude of Margaux Hemingway taken by Scavullo (a copy, no, I don't have that kind of money), etc., and I was hoping he'd be into me.... even though he is in his 'blonde period'.

He'd been hanging out in my bedroom, in his PJs, and I'd been sleeping, my face was oily, I had sleepies on my eyes, morning breath, etc., but when I looked right into his eyes I detected some interest there and I got really excited thnking Hef might actually dig me!

I can't tell you what else I dreamed, I have no idea. Not now. But I slept a lot. That's what Saturdays are for. Have I gone to get a new VCR yet? Are you kidding? I haven't gotten dressed yet. I've only washed my face, made and drunk a cup of coffee, read diaries, tried to send email, found I couldn't, logged off to call my ISP, discovered they are clueless, as usual, came back in and rebooted (when in doubt, reboot), sent email, then I looked at my Yahoo photo album, part of deciding to recommend it to Roadiepig because he is having problems with his MSN photo album.

I need to add some photos to mine. I've basically neglected it for two years. Ah, but what memories to click on 'slideshow' and watch all those old pictures unfold on this monitor. They look so dark now (it's probably just this crappy failing monitor). But yeah, I should get right on it.

Instead, I think I'll shower and wash my hair, and begin to consider leaving to go to Wal Mart, and Circuit City and Sam's Club. Or not. See, that's how great this is, I can do as I please. VCR? Sure, right away, or not. It is a big investment, even considering it's now much cheaper than it used to be. I paid over $460 for mine, 16 years ago. That's right. I was reading all these reviews of VCRs last night on Epinions.com and so many people mentioned how they'd had four or five or six VCRs over the years, and I just thought, Huh. How about that. I've had one. Daily taping of "GL", renting movies, watching movies I've bought, etc. SIXTEEN YEARS. One. (Toshiba)

I like my purhcases to be that way. I buy things that will last. I try to take care of them. That's why everything I have is so old. Buy it once, keep it, try to maintain it. End of story. Where did I get this frugality? No clue. Maybe my mother.

My microwave? Given to me by a former co-worker, 11 years ago! His mom bought a white one, no longer wanted the faux wood finish one. Still works fine.

My phone/answering machine? Bought new when I moved to the exurbs, 1995. The other phone in the living room? Bought new in the '80s.

The TV? The one in the living room was my grandmother's. My mom went out and bought it for her, probably in 1976 or 1977. Works fine.

The TV in the bedroom was my father's, a gift my brother and I gave to him on either Father's Day, his Birthday or Christmas, can't remember, but it must have been in 1981 or so. Maybe mid '80s. Works fine.

The coffee grinder from 1988? The Braun in red, which no longer comes in red? I've found if I turn the lid a certain way, press lightly, it grinds just fine. It still works, though it's becoming temperamental.

The car? Bought new on New Year's Eve, the last day of 1984. Needs a new carburetor, fuel pump, and suspension. Leaks oil, the radio and tape deck no longer work, the a/c died years ago, but it still starts, stops and runs in between the two.

Frugal.

The VCR??? I tried it last night, rewound the tape, pressed 'play' and it began to play. I wasn't prepared for that!

But I do intend to go buy a new one, I just want it to be one that will last another 16 years.

Oh, and I read one person who says DVDs will soon become obsolete!! Oh yeah, he says there is something being developed called HDVD and it will take over. DVDs as we know them now will become obsolete as well. Always on to the next big thing, while I stick with my old stuff.

I was telling the 'new boy' at work about my stereo, my components, my receiver, turntable, etc., and he laughed at the idea of a 'receiver'. Don't they make those anymore either? I bought mine back in '83. And again, works fine.

It's early, but getting dark fast. I'm not crazy about that.

I loved that Hugh Hefner has stuffed animals in his room. He said it's the 'little boy inside the man'. He's an Aries, like me, by the way. I'd be one of his blondes, I think (after I bleached my hair). But I'd get jealous. I kept wondering what kind of sex he has with them, what he's into. Anal? I know he uses Viagara, he's admitted it proudly before. Hmmmm.... I like Hef. Always have. In the dream I was telling him I've been a fan since I was 10 years old, babysitting with my best friend, looking at Mr Bankson's stacks and stacks of Playboys from the '50s and '60s. That was when he looked me right in the eye and I saw some interest there.

Time to move along, I suppose. I only wanted to write about the dream, just put a little note here, but it turned into this whole frugality thing. Who cares.

*****Oh, almost forgot!!! The cats. N is 12 and G is 11. Look how long they've lasted, and they both still work fine!!! (tee heeee!!!!) N and I are playing, gotta go!!!

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