Monday, Oct. 21, 2002 / 2:04 p.m.

~Diary Reading Etiquette, My Male Heroes, and a Day Off To See If I Can't, Or If I CAN~

If you want to read my entire diary, starting from the beginning, well, that's your choice for how to spend your time (egad!), but couldn't you just drop a little note? There's a guestbook, there's a 'notes' area (if you're a Diarylander), there's email too. I think it might be nice to know who you are, but then again you might be into anonymous voyeurism. I can dig that too. Do I already know who you are? I've seen your IP around, but yet I can't quite place you.

Sort of like the serial sniper! Okay, you're not shooting, you're only reading. Reading is fundamental, after all. Just drop a note, okay?

I'm off work today. It was planned, of course, or not of course, but this time, yes, it was planned to take Friday and Monday, today. And then we know I got sick so I took Thursday as well. This means I've not been to work since last Wednesday. Wow. Luxurious, yes, but without definite structure, I tend to goof off quite horribly.

Yesterday I spent the entire day online. Yes, I think I did. I took many surveys, you can click on my surveys in my profile and see! Yikes! Oh, it was fun, for a while, then it was like some obsession, it sort of took over. I even created a new one, for tattooed people, so if you have tattoos, please go take it. Thanks.

I have a headache. I slept a lot. I stayed up late watching "Bride of the Wind", mostly because Vincent Perez is in it, but his part is awfully small. And everyone in the film had an accent that was not his/her own, and all the accents tended to fade in and out. Set in Vienna, it was the story of Alma Mahler, wife of one Gustav, composer/conductor. She was a bit of a maneater. I wanted to think she was strong and independent, forthright, but she was a milquetoast with Gustav, then she cheated, then he died, then she hooked up with hunky Vincent, playing Oscar somebody, some artist, then she got pregnant, refused to have his child, he went off to fight in WWI, got 'killed', came back to life, if only to see her.....

How fucking romantic is that?! But she pisses on him, is with the other one, the one she wanted to be with before Gustav died (and these are all very cool men, artists, architects, writers, composers, she had good taste), and she's carrying his baby, so he sulks off and pines for her, stalking just a bit. Then she pisses on that one, the architect one, leaves him for the writer who can sing opera. Such a sucker.

Okay, not a good movie, but I had a second wind, I stayed up to see it, I slept, I dreamed, oy, I dreamed! And I awoke with said headache. I'm trying to watch two episodes of "Guiding Light" from last week, but my VCR refuses to play them. I think I'm online right now to search for Consumer Reports Best Buys on VCRs (Google hit waiting to happen!). I think.

I know I need to wash the dishes that have been sitting in the sink since last week when I was eating nothing but soup. I know I need to do the cleaning I'm always telling myself I'd do if only I had the time off from work (hah!). I know I need to rid my car's backseat of the bags of plastic, glass and newspaper, at the recycling center. And I know I'm not heading out to meet Mark and his pals for dinner intown, but I'd like Thai takeout, I think. I'm having trouble discerning taste for food. I'm not hungry lately, I just realize a need to eat. I have no real 'cravings' except for unhealthy items, i.e. Quarter Pounders, With Cheese.

I refuse to go get one though. I've got to do better than that. But what? I could go shopping. Mmm hmmm. This is hard, having this day, having the possibilities, but sitting here instead. Going and pressing 'play' on the VCR's remote every so often, hoping I can at least knock that chore out. Not that it's a 'chore' to watch my soap, but it's a chore to try lately. I need a new VCR. But then I think maybe I could get this one repaired..... yes, it's old, but couldn't it be fixed? Is it beyond that? I don't know.

And I do know I don't have a lot of money right now, post-tattoo. Pre-first of the month. Hmmmm...

Me, thinking on the keypad. Not 'out loud', but I do hear the sound my fingers are making right now. Sure, it's loud, sort of.

Awaiting a new press conference on the sniper situation. Something about a note, a Mexican, a plea for funds. Wha??? CNN. Riveting. What's gonna happen when they catch the guy/s? What will we do then? Think about Iraq? The Elections? Clearly it's more fun, in a TV crime drama sort of way, to think about what's going with the Sniper guy. No, I mean no disrespect, don't take that the wrong way, you know what I mean. Iraq is too big, Bush is too much of an idiot, and those ads on TV, why demean Max Cleland because he wants teenagers to have access to the abortion drug?

Oh, that reminds me. Last night I was as bored as I am now, although I'm not THAT bored right now, I'm writing, but anyway, I was flipping channels and I came upon a documentary on Cinemax. "Breasts". Women talking about their breasts. From what it was like to see them grow large at puberty, to getting implants, or reductions, to breastfeeding, to sex, to old age, to mastectomies, etc. The interviews were studio interviews, and most of the women sat topless as they talked. It was captivating, charming, enlightening, sad, shocking, and very, very interesting. It made me think about mine too. My breasts.

Then..... on CNN was the "People in the News" program, sort of a People magazine on TV, with Paula Zahn hosting. There was a terrific segment on Michael Moore (who I really, really like and admire) and one on Hugh Hefner (ditto). Great film footage, interveiws, great, great stuff. Mini biographies, but they were about 20 minutes each. Well done. Hef is 75 now! Insane.

I won't expound on why I like each of these men, not right now, because this drivel is already really long, but I do like them. Me, the feminist. Ah, but a bit of a leftist, so Moore makes sense. But you didn't think I'd dig Hef, did you? I grew up with Playboy. He's the consummate swinger, the Bachelor dude, cool, baby, yeah. And I have nothing against the way he's depicted women in his mag. I love Playboy, used to subscribe. It's truly a lifestyle mag, and a very good one.

More later, if I feel.

Now, I must move along. See if I can't research VCRs online, see if I can't watch "GL", if not on tape, then live. See if I can't wash dishes, do something worthwhile and constructive, see if I can't..... if I CAN get food to eat, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseum.

And again, if you're going to sit around reading all of this, like ALL of this, like pages and pages and pages, for hours at a time, leave a little note, okay? It won't hurt, yes? Yes. I'd do the same for you. I do. If I read mass quantities of a person's diary, which I am wont to do, I always leave some kind of note. It's diary reading etiquette, I think.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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