Saturday, Sept. 20, 2003 / 3:21 p.m.

~A Lot of Sleep, and Dreams of Poltergeists, and Not Learning Appropriate Dissent, and Racism on 'Bewitched', and My Chart, All About ME!!!~

I guess I only half-heartedly planned on going to the 'Dissent in the Time of the Patriot Act', or whatever it's called, Symposium thing, because I didn't let myself get online last night to check the email, to find the time, and I insisted on telling myself it probably started before noon, because these things always do, and that I could set my alarm for early, supposedly, or count on waking early because I usually do, before going back to sleep for the afternoon anyway. But then when I woke early and went back to sleep, and had all those truly bizarre dreams about the house of my formative years, THAT house, again, and again, and the poltergeist rearranging the bathroom and speaking in tongues, and me unable to form words, from fear and poltergeist manipulation, and waking and going back to sleep because it was too much fun not to dream some more, well, I slept.

It started on the sofa. I'd watched the "BB4" best moments extravaganza episode, then Food Network's "Tyler's Ultimate", in which Tyler made cheesecake, and I thought the whole time, What about Lindy's New York cheesecake?!?!?! I have the recipe, it's amazing, it's thick and rich and I used to bake it all the time. Everyone was so impressed, and it's the best, really, and sour cream? No, too smooth, I don't do sour cream in cheesecake, no, forget it. And then "A Cook's Tour", but it was Tony in London, eating 'variety meats', a la Letterman's 'Know Your Cuts of Meat' bit, and I said Nah, once is enough for this episode, even if I have seen it a few times, once was really all I needed. Although, watching Tony Bourdain eat bone marrow is always fun, that's okay.

So I switched to TV Land, and "Bewitched", an episode involving racism as discussion, one of the later '60s eps, but before her swinging '60s hairdo, thank god. Little witch Tabitha and best friend, who happened to be black, Lisa, wanted to be sisters, but were told on playground by some bully that they could not, as they are different colors. I missed the beginning, but apparently the young witch twitched, and both ended up with opposite color spots all over, sort of black with white polka dots, and vice versa.

Spell must be undone by the time Lisa's mother goes upstairs to check on her, and mean and very bad man who is hiring McMann and Tate to do some advertising campaign comes over to offer Xmas gifts, black doll for child, white for other, thinking Darrin and Lisa's mom are married, an interracial couple, and he thinks that takes a lot of balls and he wishes them well, but he won't be hiring them to do campaign, or won't let Darrin work on campaign because he thinks Darrin is one half of said interracial couple. Well, he gets his. Larry says a giant fuck you to the guy, because underneath it all he has conscience, and this episode is one of those later, 'very special episodes', or late '60s consciousness raising episodes anyway, and the bad man admits to his racism, says he didn't realize he was a racist, but lo and behold. And the spell is undone, the spots are gone, the little white witch and the little black not-witch can be 'sisters', as Sam says, all men are brothers, and that includes little girls.

Wait, I'm confused. I thought little girls were sisters, not brothers. Either way.

I fell asleep before the grand epilogue. And I awoke over and again, to the sounds of "I Love Lucy" and "Gilligan's Island" and "Mr Ed" and "Dick Van Dyke" and it was oddly comforting, even with Gladys jumping on and off me all night long.

I got up around 4:30 to wash the day's grease from my face, and brush and floss and get into the actual sleeping vessel. Or sleeping pallette, or bed. And there it was I tossed and turned and dreamed of poltergeists, and having things still at THAT house, and telling someone, Well, we still have things here, and later, I never want to leave this house. How unbelievably meaningful. I am in serious need of dream interpreter, STAT!

Alas, I missed the Symposium thingie, which I have logged on to find out started only at 2:30, and really, even someone who'd been out and about all Friday night, even hungover or whatever, could still make that, but I missed it. I'm sure they'll talk about it via email lists and such. I'll be okay. I'm glad I slept, and dreamed, I was tired.

I used the $8 refunded to my Pal Pal account, by seller who overcharged for shipping on Bewitched items of a week or so ago, which shall not really be spoken of again, although the other seller's item, the other mug, awaits me at leasing office, delivered Priority Mail yesterday (must go get that one!), for an online Love Meter chart from astrology.com. I mean, I used the $8 towards it, it cost some $9.95 total. I was anxious to spend that $8, I didn't want it around. The whole thing was just blech, the whole Ebay experience.

But, the chart, very interesting. I've had other charts 'done' for me before, and they're always, or maybe almost always, maybe 99% always dead on accurate, sort of spooky accurate, and seeing it in print, reading about me and the way I am, and thinking it's because Mars was here or there, and same with Venus or Uranus or whatever, is just crazy, but I believe it. More than the existence of some supreme being up in the clouds, some guy with a long beard, Birkenstocks and a caftan. My faith is Astrology.

Herewith, some crucial points, about ME, some astrological certainties, some explanations, or some facts, about me and the way I am, which had me not only nodding my head, but saying See!, and things like that, as I read (I shall make bold some especially dead on accurate statements or phrases) :

"Scorpio on 7th house cusp:

You are earthy, sensual and, secretly, a little vain. Your "creature comforts" are important to you and you will always manage to be materially secure. You are very persevering (and sometimes very stubborn) and tend to form long-lasting relationships.

You are attracted to intensely magnetic people who are extremely controlling and not always easy to understand. You, yourself, are loving, sensual, somewhat stubborn and possessive and have strong security needs. You love strength but may resent dominance.

Power struggles are not unusual in your relationships although they may take subtle forms such as obsession, jealousy or fears of abandonment.

Pluto, Ruler of 7th house, is in 4th:

It's ironic that someone who so values security, both emotionally and materially, should have experienced such volcanic disruptions in your home and family throughout your life. When you were a child, these changes may have been due to finances, abrupt changes in circumstances, family crises, deaths or changes of residence. There may also have been a complicated situation related to your father which dominated your childhood.

As an adult, you are attracted to people who are strong, dynamic and with whom you feel you can establish the stable home you may not have enjoyed as a child.

Moon Square Mercury with an orb between 1 and 3 degrees:

******(asterisks added by moi) You are sensitive to the point of being rather thin-skinned and too easily hurt. You're often being emotional when you think you're being rational and detached when you are expressing how you feel. It's never wise to argue with you until you've calmed down.

Neptune Square MC with an orb between 1 and 3 degrees:

You are guided far more by your spiritual ideals than by more material motivations. While intimate ties are important to you, if the other person didn't share your more cosmic goals, the relationship could not last. Your dreams often become realities.

Venus Trine Uranus with an orb between 1 and 3 degrees:

There is nothing humdrum about the way that you love. You have a flair for the unusual and the creative and are drawn to those who shun the conventional. You shy away from those who tend to be over-possessive. Your love affairs are also wonderful friendships.

Uranus Square Asc. with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees:

You are an unusual person and are often perceived as "ahead of your time" in some way. Friendship is very important to you - especially in your love affairs. You don't like relationships which are overly defined or confining. You must feel free to love.

Saturn Trine Asc. with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees:

You were not encouraged to be overly expressive when you were a child and as an adult still tend to be somewhat reserved. You often give the impression of being serious or even stern when, in truth, you are simply feeling shy or self-protective.

Mercury Sextile Asc. with an orb between 1 and 5 degrees:

You are extremely verbal and communicative and have no difficulty in making your thoughts and ideas clearly understood. At times, however, you may become a bit glib and use your "gift of gab" as a means of protecting yourself from emotional vulnerability.

Mercury Sesquiquadrate Neptune with an orb between 1 and 2 degrees:

Your imagination is so powerful that, if you don't have a strong creative or spiritual outlet, you may at times be over-influenced by your own fantasies or those of others. Beware of gullibility. In the long run, telling the truth is in your best interest.

Sun Conjunct Venus with an orb between 5 and 8 degrees:

Most people like you. You form relationships easily but may have some difficulty sustaining them. You tend to project your own ego ideals onto your partner, sometimes at the expense of relating to their needs. For you, admiration is a prerequisite for love.

Venus Square Mars with an orb between 5 and 8 degrees:

Yours was not a happy childhood and, while there is nothing you want more than a close love relationship, you may also fear it. You probably have an active sex life but may have some discomfort acknowledging feelings of love, dependence or vulnerability.

Sun does not aspect Asc.:

*******(more asterisks needed here) People do not receive an accurate first impression of you. Owing to shyness or lack of confidence, you have cultivated a persona which is not expressive of the person you experience yourself to be. This creates complications in personal relationships."

End quote.

Okay, Trouble, I don't know if you're reading this, but if you are, that last part, the sun not aspecting Asc., which must be Ascendant, that is what you told me. I don't come off, in person, as the person I make myself out to be. That's what you said, and look, there it is. Wow, huh?

The part about my dreams becoming realities? Well, that's not happening, but it needs to. Because reality is not very dreamy.

There was a bit more, but these points where the most bizarrely accurate. This whole chart was based on the exact time and location of my birth, which it just so happens I know by heart. Thusly, I can tell you that Mars was in Cancer and Venus in Aries at the time of my birth. This much, along with the Aries Sun, Sag Moon and Gemini, now Taurus, I've recently discovered, Ascendant. I know there are plenty of external influences, and the rearing of me by my parents, my childhood experiences, but put it all together and it's dead on, all of it.

Where do I go from there, that is the question. So it deserves a question mark, here... ??? Three.

Time to do something with this day. Go get my Bewitched mug, and consider seeing a movie. But it is 86 degrees outside, and that is very hot, and I'm not sure I'm ready to leave.

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