Saturday, Mar. 21, 2009 / 9:48 p.m.

~But the Future Could Bring Anything~

It's been so long since I posted, I honestly forgot how. But I am nothing if not Interweb savvy, so I figured it out, don't you worry.

I was telling someone about my night with Moby and Motorcycles, and referred him to that post, and had to backtrack and read it again for myself. It's never easy to write about how much I like something I've written, though I know of writers and artists who wax poetically about the beauty and wonder of their writing and art, but it's good, it's really good. I read it and I'm there all over again, and I remember exactly how that night felt, how that entire day felt.

I remember what it felt like to know I was losing my job after seven years, to finally know for absolute sure. And what it felt like to get in the car to see Moby, knowing I was going to see this guy I'd already met once before, but in a different setting, a different context, and the excitement of the signing, and then the attempt to carry it all over to a whole new situation, and the loss of control over events, though there was total control amidst the chaos, and a sort of calmness that comes with going with a flow of events.

It was like everything happened for some reason I couldn't possibly fathom. There was no explanation for any of it, but it was one of those nights that has to be ridden, followed through, to the end, and then slept upon, and written about, or vice versa.

I don't do anything of the sort anymore. I have fallen into a series of ruts. Each rut is made deeper just by being in it, settling into it. The price of gas had me grounded, and I got used to the grounding, so now that it's cheaper I don't care to change my ways, get out of the rut. It's a long way up and out.

And the new car has a loan payment each month, something I really cannot afford, but do anyway, and this leaves little left over for playing. Dining out in the form of takeout is the only splurge, and this too keeps me inside.

In a way, I feel like I have already lived, I've done it all, I've had crazy experiences at Bike Nights, and dancing until I can barely stand, and trips to Europe and the Caribbean, and across this country and back again. Been there, done it, settled into deep ruts now. This is it, now.

I wonder if it will change, and more excitement will find me, or I will find it, and more crazy experiences that have to be dumped into blogs. No way to know what the future will bring, right?

Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)

Run, Kitty, Run!

Previous - Next

New - 2012 - 2009 - 2008 - 2007 - 2006 - 2005 - 2004 - 2003 - 2002 - 2001 - Profile - Contact - Notes - Rings - Diaryland - Favourite Entries - ReadMe - Surveys - Random Entry

Recent Entries:

It Was 40 Years Ago Today - 9:44 a.m. , Friday, Oct. 12, 2012

Dead Black Cat - 9:07 a.m. , Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012

As Seen From Outer Space - 1:07 a.m. , Saturday, Dec. 05, 2009

I Survived to Tell the Tale - 7:29 a.m. , Friday, Sept. 18, 2009

Reading My Life - 12:55 p.m. , Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009

Happy Kitty

My Diary Was Reviewed at Ms Lovejoy's - Get Yours Reviewed Too!

Registered I was a nominee