Monday, Jul. 28, 2003 / 8:09 p.m.

~Iconic Gagmeister~

In another browser window I'm looking for the perfect Hallmark e-card to send to my brother, as today is his birthday, and in some obligatory and sentimental way, I care enough to send the very best. Unh huh.

Meanwhile, the CBS insta-tribute to the now dearly departed 'Iconic Gagmeister' (as one news report blurb called him), Bob Hope, is on and I'd like to watch some of it. I kind of grew up watching TV and going to movies, in case no one had noticed, and Bob Hope/Bing Crosby 'road movies' were part of my childhood entertainment. I thought he was funny, Bob, and kind of handsome. I'm talking the really young Bob. But jeez, who even thought he was still alive, you know? Kind of like when George Burns made it to 100, we all said, "Huh, he was still alive?, I thought he died a long time ago", or "I thought he'd never die". Same with both 'Iconic Gagmeisters', I guess.

Oh dear, today was a day. And what do we come away with? Our Manager (M), at work, sort of 'dressed down', or 'razzed', or demeaned, how can I put it?, Penelope, and she does it a lot, and it sounds like joking, and Penelope laughs, and well, they're cousins, by marriage, but cousins, so it never seems severe, and if she's going to get on anyone's case it ought to be her sister's, as she sat (Kukla, that is) today, talking on the phone, whispering, on a lengthy personal call, with her outside line OFF, so I got call after call after call, all the while hearing her whispering loudly.

You know whispering is on this weird sound wave, so that it can be easier to hear than not whispering, depending. I have sensitive hearing, so watch out.

But yeah, I even said, "Poor Penelope", because (M) was treating her like a child, abusing her verbally, "Everyone else is through with their work, how come you're not through with yours?! I wanna know why you are so slow opening up the mail! Why aren't you done yet? Have you done these? What about your FAXing? If there's a problem, maybe we need to talk about it!", etc., etc., ad nauseum, and she does this a lot, and Penelope laughs, and today I said, "Is (M) serious?", and she said, "Yes, she is", and I said, "I think she is being really mean to you".

And Jane and I discussed it, agreed, it was unprofessional, it was bad, all the way around. Really. Penelope is 'slow', like not in possession of a high IQ, like not terribly bright, but not stupid, and she is slow, a slow worker, and our work load has quadrupled, or quintupled, lately, and she told (M) today, "I'm overwhelmed", and I just kept butting in, "I'm not through with my work either", and "Poor Penelope", because I felt so badly for her, the way (M) was treating her.

Sort of like an abusive mother with her child, "Why can't you be more like little Johnny, why are you so slow, are you stupid, you're no good, you can't do the same things he can, what is wrong with you?", etc. Bad parenting, bad management, but I already know my Manager is an idiot, I've always known it. What can you do? Today was bad, and I considered going above her head to let someone know how uncomfortable it made me. But maybe I'll just say something to her directly, tomorrow, or soon. Maybe I'll let Penelope know that she should ask to speak to her privately next time. If they're not just kidding around, it's gotten out of hand.

Okay, 20 minutes just passed.

I'm majorly PMS-y, very uncomfortable, very fly-off-the-handle-y, and I commiserated with Jane at work today. She is SO sincerely empathetic, it's great! She always makes me feel better. She is the only person who will ask how I am and wait for the answer, who will listen when I answer, and who will give me sympathy when I feel like crap. For this, I love her.

So we talked about how it's time for our periods, again. We bleed together. And we both said, again, can you believe it? And she's not having children, is 41, so we have that in common, and she said, "Go ahead and just take it all out!", which is what I say, so it was funny to hear it from someone else. But then I thought about bone loss and HRT, and fuck that too. I said we're either about to have our periods, or having our periods, or in pain, or bloated, or cranky, or emotional, or birthing babies, WOMEN, in general, and it's just hard as hell. It just sucks.

So yeah, it was nice to commiserate.

I'm meeting a Diarylander Thursday though, and I will be ready to let loose a little, so I hope she's prepared! I just don't want to be all yucky when we meet, and by then I should be past this worst part, the 'pre' part.

Okay, got to pick out my brother's e-card now. Not that he deserves it, but when we were kids I wanted to please him, I loved making him happy, making him laugh or smile, or want to be with me. He loved to teach me things, and get me into trouble. He never took care of me, he wasn't protective, he was sort of sneaky and like that kid on "Leave It to Beaver", Wally's friend, oh, what's his name? The weasel-y one. It's on the tip of my tongue.

But I'm not going to get into all that. I have the utmost respect for birthdays, and his is today, and so here I go, to Hallmark.com.

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