Wednesday, Oct. 09, 2002 / 2:59 p.m.

~I Don't Get 'Sick'~

I don't get 'sick'. I haven't had a head cold for almost two years. I think it was December of 2000....

When I start to feel my immunity being compromised (and yes, I CAN feel it), I load up on the Echinacea. I take two with my dinner. Two capsules. I feel 'under the weather', a bit 'logy' or 'enervated', a little 'flusy' or 'snuffly', but I don't get 'sick'. It doesn't happen.

I joked with Mark at the amusement park on Saturday, on queue for the intense Deja Vu coaster, some two hours meandering in slow motion, holding onto metal bars which divided us all into a neat and orderly 'line', just like stockyard animals, "There is so much bacteria on there, on that pole you're touching, do NOT touch your mucous membranes until you've washed your hands thoroughly!". And when he pretended to touch those membranes anyway I told him not to come running to me when he gets a 'cold' two weeks from that day.

I'm surrounded by sick people all day at work, every day. The 'new boy' has had a cough since he started. Of course I've seen him outside sucking on the cancer sticks, so maybe that's it. Quincey too has a cough, was out for a bit with an upper respiratory whatever a week or so ago. Listerine seems to be horribly ill every other day. The between days are amazing. Like she's taken some miracle drug.....

My Manager (M) has had bronchitis off and on as long as I've known her. And should I add right here that these people mentioned above are at some point around small children? Small children who attend daycare facilities, those infamous breeding grounds for all manner of viruses and bacteria???

So, I always feel not quite so great, two Echinacea with meals. Then I think, Hey, I'm okay, I can't take this shit every single day of my life, that's no good, I'll wean myself, I'll just take one tonight...... as I did Monday night. Down to one.

Yesterday I had a 'coughing attack' on the phone with a customer. She was changing her address and I put her on 'mute' in between my coughs until I realized I was going to be choking and hacking and tears would be streaming down my face, so I'd better rush her along and grab my bandana to hold over my mouth, lessen the distance of my spittle spewing, and keep the volume low.

No one in the department, as they usually do, no, always do, asked, "Are you all right?" I wanted to sarcastically say, "Oh, don't worry, I'll be okay in a minute, let me guzzle this water here".

I felt like crap. I've felt like crap since spending the entire day at Six Flags. Since the whiplash, the sweating, the up hill and down hill traversing of acres and acres of amusement. Since the painful Scream Machine and the tissue tearing of my breasts, the overall beating my body took, the french fries for dinner.....

I thought I'd be fine. I had my Echnicea, but I decided to do the one instead of the two, although we can't say for sure that's the reason......

I awoke with a horribly sore throat at some ungodly hour this morning. I could barely swallow. I felt like death. Or worse. I made a plan. I was going to call in sick, I have sick days left, I NEVER call in sick, I am NEVER sick, but I must admit I am on the verge, something is taking hold, and in spite of myself, and all my planning, and my own best wishes for my own health, I am succumbing. In spite of it all. I am so disappointed, but I know what I must do. I cannot possibly be talking on the phone, muting people so they don't hear when I begin to hack.

I set my alarm for later than usual, for the time I'd be arriving in my cube. I dreamed I called in, it was done. I awoke to the alarm and the realization I had yet to do it, to call. One call and the Supervisor, D., wasn't there yet. Another, later, and she was, I told her, "D., it's me, I'm at home, I'm not going to make it. I have a throat so sore I can hardly swallow and etc., and etc., and I feel terrible and hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. I'm going to spend the day in bed." (I actually said, "And etc. and etc.") She said, "Well thank you for calling."

I suppose she would have gone up in flames if she'd allowed herself to wish me well. If she'd said, "Wow, you're NEVER sick, you must be REALLY sick, I hope you're okay!". We'll just assume she was thinking it.

I slept all day. Until 2:20 p.m. to be precise. I had cats alll around. I had loads of dreams to entertain me. My throat is no longer sore. But it is hot. My head feels very heavy. I am snuffly. I am exhausted. I haven't talked a lot so I don't know how my voice sounds. I suppose I could give it a try... no, I just tried it, it takes tremendous energy to make sounds with my vocal chords. Can't do it.

I do hope I'm better tomorrow. And this feels good. Having the day off, no obligation to job hunt, or clean house, or do weekend things as it's not the weekend. Just recuperate, like I'm sick. Because I think I am.

I ate an old orange, and drank coffee. I think oranges can last a long time in the refrigerator. I need to go to the store later, and I may. I may not. I may sit and read, I may go see what's on the daytime TV. What movies are on during the day? Good ones, I'm guessing. Probably something black and white and very old.

It hurts when I move my head. One might say I'm achy.

Hey, this is new to me, as I said, I don't get 'sick'.

Oh, I just have to add something right here, a little rant of sorts. How is it that a woman can get frisky with a man, touch him all over, crawl all over him, get into his bed and cuddle with him, but then if he touches her back she accuses him of molesting her? How can a woman sleep curled up against a man, touch his thigh as she naps, hug him, hold onto him, then accuse him of trying to rape her when he touches her back?

The former happened on "Sleazy World" on the MTV channel. The latter happened on the "Survivor" show on the CBS channel. What is with these women? They are giving rape a bad name. I mean, they are lessening the evils of actual molestation, they are making the whole male on female abuse situation look like a big CRY WOLF thing. I'm not kidding. If you don't want some guy pawing you why in the holy hell are you all the fuck over him? Crawling on him and wrapping your legs around his head? How can you possibly do that and not expect him to touch you back?

And the "Survivor" chick, there was a closeup of her napping with her hand up the dude's thigh. Then when they sleep he is holding her to him, all spoon style, and she freaks when he 'grinds' her in the night. Huh? Woman, press your vulva up against a man's penis and expect him NOT to get hard, that dude would be a eunuch! Oh, how do you spell eunuch? Look, I'm sick, but I'm not stupid or blind, this crap really sets women back. All this sexual freedom, but don't touch me crap, it just looks BAD. If you're gonna rub all over a guy expect him to rub back. Period.

Yes, I've experienced the date rape, I know what it is to change one's mind, but this is different, have you seen it? It's on national fucking TV. Sick, man, sick. I hope that chick is voted OFF the fucking island. And the one on "Sleazy World"? She just needs to grow the fuck up.

Rant over. I'm going to go be sick now. Not throw up, be sick, just sit around and moan or something. I'll take some Echinacea and I'll be all better tomorrow, I think.

*****Wait just a dadburned minute! I just realized, this is Penelope's cold! She came back from Louisiana with it a couple weeks ago, she was coughing all over the place, she NEVER covers her mouth, she let her spittle spew, I made a comment about being surrounded by sick people, to the 'new boy', and she jumped in, inserted herself, all offended that I thought I might catch whatever illness she was spreading, and rightly so, because it pisses me off that these idiots come into work spreading their crap. It's almost impossible NOT to succumb at some point. Boy, oh, boy, is she gonna get a piece of MY mind!!!! Well, there's only so much I can do, but I know how long it takes something like this to take hold, there's an incubation period, or something, and it's two weeks, and the timing is just right and now that I know whose fault it is, well, I don't know. I just thought of it is all. I was looking at my stats, all the funny Google and AOL and MSN searches that brought people to my diary, and well, it popped in my head, sort of all "A ha!" like.

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