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Wednesday, Mar. 06, 2002 / 12:39 p.m. ~I Dreamed I Was In Love~ I just had one of those sneezes that is like a cough and a sneeze. I'm drinking my morning coffee at 12:40 in the afternoon and I'm doing all those coughing, throat clearing things I only thought I did at work. I always blame it on the bad air at work, the poor circulation, the germs, the dust, the toxic particles everywhere. I wonder if maybe, instead, I'm simply once again fighting a cold virus. Either that, or it's throat cancer, as I have imagined all along. It felt great to sleep almost twelve hours on a Wednesday. Ahhhh....a Wednesday. I dreamed I was in love. He was so beautiful, I think he was that Serb from the crazy movie the other night. In the dream I would look at him and be overwhelmed by his beauty. He looked Russian, like that dancer, the one who made the baby with Jessica Lange, what's his name? Mikhail Baryshnikov? Yeah, but younger. Or, more likely, he was the Serb, the actor from that movie, the one who played the Serb, and probably was in reality a Serb. I am intensely attracted to foreign men, in general. So, we were making love, and he was with another woman, but I said we could both have him at the same time, and then she was out of the picture, it was just us, and his penis was huge, yes, it was remarkable, and I was worried, just seeing it, but I ended up on top of him and had a spectacular orgasm with him inside of me. I don't know if I awoke from the dream at that point, but I was very aware that I had had an orgasm in a dream....and then I was waiting for reciprocation of my feelings. I was consumed with feeling for him. I was totally in love. Sounds like lust, I know, but in the dream he was everything to me. We were walking down some staircase, involved in something, a quest, or something, helping someone, really, I can't remember, but I knew his mind was not on me and I wanted it to be, I was overwhelmed with my feelings for him, I couldn't look at him without thinking, "My God, you are SO fucking beautiful! I am SO crazy about you!", but I didn't think he felt much of anything for me....and then his hand slid around my waist, his arm was around me as we walked, and mine was suddenly around him, he had this really small waist, and it just felt really good, normal, like whatever I was feeling, he felt it too. That's it. I remember the gist of it, not the details.....or maybe the details and not the gist. I can see his face, his eyes, his nose, his mouth, his hair, see his hand on my waist, his penis, I can feel that orgasm, I can feel loving him, but where we were, with whom, no, that's really hazy. Still, not bad. That's the kind of dream I don't mind at all. Now, I've got 2 "GL"s on tape I need to watch before I can tape today's, and I said I'd call Hermione out West, so I need to do that. And I need to shop, somewhere, food, shoes, pants, anything. I kind of need them all equally. Well, maybe food more than the others. I don't know if I'll get that done though, because I really want to get to Borders early, to browse heavily before Bourdain gets there. Speaking of, last night's "A Cook's Tour" was good, as always - I loved when Bourdain said, "When Tony gets hungry, things die". He was dead set on taking a whole lamb into the Moroccan desert, to have some Berbers roast it for him in a pit. I'd like to tell him that here, at the Greek Orthodox Cathedral, every year for their Greek Festival, they roast a few, on spits, over a pit of coals in the ground. It takes hours, and there is this one guy who is in charge every year, he stands over it and bastes it with olive oil and garlic and herbs. And lemons. It's so good - when it's almost ready he gives people slivers to taste, right off his knife. He is very flirtatious too. I love to stand around and get him to tell me details of the roasting, how long has it been now?, can I have a taste?, mmm...you cooked how many so far?, etc. Damn, this throat clearing thing is insane. You'd think I smoke several packs of cigarettes every day, when in fact I'm never around them. It must be cancer. I'd better go and live my day now. Cost of the War in Iraq
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