Monday, Oct. 28, 2002 / 9:05 p.m.

~In Between "Donahue" and "Dog Days"~

I'm in between "Donahue" and "Dog Days". Political commentary and dogs in Manhattan. It's raining. It's been raining all day, and it seems like months since I saw blue sky and sunshine.

After work I walked outside to the parking lot and the sun had already set. At least I think it had. As I said, I haven't seen it in a while. But still. Dark. I felt a rush of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I was S.A.D. I felt depressed, almost overwhelmingly so.

Watching the Michael Moore episode of "Donahue", finally, after waiting for over a week, was a bit of a letdown. It was all about the film, "Bowling For Columbine", which I saw Friday, and which I loved, but I wanted more dialogue, more discussion, more actual answers to the questions the people in the audience there in Flint asked. I wanted more.

Instead I was just reminded how much America sucks. The USA. We suck.

I was reading somewhere about how other countries offer their workers months of vacation - oh yes, in Brent's diary - and suddenly I was able to equate our violent tendencies, our rush to kill, to whip out a handgun and shoot, to our need for time off. I don't know if that's the reason. I don't know the reason at all, and certainly Michael Moore doesn't know the reason either. Frustrating.

But how ironic that since the debut of his film there have been mass shootings all over the place. One guy shot some people at his college because he was bummed about bad grades. Why not just hang yourself, dude?

I don't know, I just don't know.

Rapid change of subject now.... I was online all day yesterday. I have such a propensity to do that on weekends. I turn on the PC, leave it on all day, come in and out of the room, search for something on Google, read diaries, obsessively checking to see who's updated (just saw some lightning!!), who's read my diary, and I end up shopping, or downloading free screensavers, or wallpapers, or Webshots images....etc.

So, I found out the name of the latest song on the latest Mitsubishi ad, and decided to buy the album containing said song. "Breathe", by Telepopmusik. Hah! That will get me Googled, just as I Googled some other people who'd written much the same thing as I just wrote (I do love the Google!).

I ordered that, from a web site that has no shipping and handling charges. How can that be? I think it's called Deep Discount CDs.

And I researched coffee grinders. Out the yin yang. I found out the Braun, like the one I have, like the one I have and have had since Dave broke my old one, back in 1988!!!!, is highly rated by average Joes. Average Cuppa Joe loving Joes! I found out by reading reviews on Epinions.com, and I registered too so that I could leave a comment on one reviewer's review.

Soon I'll be writing my own reviews, I have no doubt.

Fun, this Interweb.

I also created a new survey. It's pretty lame, but you can take it and I can read your answers and we'll all have fun! You can read my answers too. In fact, you can click on my Profile, then down at the bottom you can click on the link to my surveys and read ALL my answers to ALL the surveys I've taken! But Jesus, it would look like you're stalking me if you did all that, so you'd better not.

Still, here's my latest survey. Have fun! (I prefer long answers, thanks)

We got a new temp at work today. Blah! Work!!! Ick, whose idea was it to talk about work?! I'm supposed to train her tomorrow, because D., the Supervisor, asked me if I'd mind training, last Friday, I asked her if she wanted an honest answer, and she said yes, and I said, yes, I'd mind, so she asked if I wanted to train on Monday or Tuesday.

Now why do people do that? Ask you what you really think, ask for the truth, then disregard your answer? "Does this dress make my butt look big?", "Yes", "Why'd you go and say that?! My butt doesn't look big, you never liked my butt, did you? You think I'm too fat, don't you? You hate this dress, don't you? Why'd you have to go and say that, now I'm all depressed. I'm not going, you go without me!"

No, really, I would mind training. And the new temp? She's horrible. Oh, all uppity and shit, forget it! Girl!!!! Girl!!! Let me tell you!

I like to call Norman and Gladysan "Grrr" now, instead of "Girl", and I do it because I can. Just like I call Norma Norman. And Gladys Gladysan, or Gladicus. Or Gurdys. Because I can.

They follow me from room to room. It's especially bad on weekends. And oh, the looks when I leave in the morning! Norman sits and watches me go, catches the kisses I blow to her. Sad, sad, sad. I shouldn't be working.

I need a big pile of money, like before. Yes, before.

So, it's raining, there's thunder and everything, and it's like 70 degrees outside. It's too warm. It's really icky. Icky. Like I wish I had ceiling fans, or actually I DO have ceiling fans, but there are no ceiling fixtures, so I have nothing to hook them to..... it's stale and stagnant and warm, and I resorted to turning on the a/c earlier. October 28th, and I had the a/c on. Horrors.

I wanted to shout that I went to the Rolling Stones concert, all day today, but there was no one to tell. I told Kukla, and she asked who the rocker was, the guy, you know, and I said Mick Jagger, and she said yeah that's right.

I'm sighing inside.

I'm bored. How can that be? I'm in between shows on TV. I changed my sheets, I ate (okay, popcorn, but I ate), I'm cozy, if a bit warm, but it's okay, I just feel this sense of boredom. I think it's knowing I have to go back to work again tomorrow, and the next day. I have to get up again tomorrow, and it will be dark after work again tomorrrow, and it will probably still be raining. Because we don't get a real Autumn this year. Just nasty Summer smog, then nasty fog and rain.

I had a dream I was going to a high school reunion. It was long. I'd wake up and go back to sleep and continue it. But now I can't remember it at all, just the 'theme'.

My coffee grinder worked today, but my milk is sour.

I need to shop, but I'm too scattered, and then there's the rain. If the sun were shining I'd say it was in my eyes. I'm tired of finding excuses. I actually had energy after work (see changing my sheets, above), and started reorganizing my food cabinets in the kitchen (where else?), but then "Felicity" came on and, well, then Norman sat on my lap, then I looked at catalogs (inundated lately!) while Michael Moore reiterated points from his new film, and well, I'm sapped now.

So I'm writing about how I'm sapped, and bored, and I still hate my job (after only almost five years?), and this is boring too.

taurus

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Okay, you know I'm really an Aries, right? And I'm not up (nor down) for anything!! It's all in fun, yes? Yes.

*****Addendum here. I was way wrong about Bill Wyman not playing with the Stones. Thanks to Andy, and this transcript of that Ed Bradley interview I mentioned, for setting me straight. It was Ron (Ronnie) Wood, not Bill Wyman, who had the drinking problem and might not have toured had he not made the decision to sober up. NOT Bill Wyman. Hey, I'm a novice, what do I know?! Anyway, glad to get it right.******

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