Monday, May. 27, 2002 / 3:26 p.m.

~It's All Gravy, Man!~

Look what time it is. Look. 3:30. In the afternoon. Gladys just got out of bed. What does she think this is? Anyway? I love to say it like that! No, really, this whole, "It's a Holiday so we're staying in bed ALL day" crap is, well, crap.

Oooo, there's a cool banner at the top of this page, it's a closeup of a leopard's face, a profile, with the word "Emystica" over it. I think that's it. The font is actually hard to read. Someone's diary, I don't know.

I got out of bed at a fine hour, somewhere around 1:00. Like a normal person. Okay, fine, Gladys is not a person, she's a cat, but still. I couldn't make the bed all this time, and I wanted to. I changed the sheets on Saturday and when the sheets are still pretty clean I like to get out bed and make it, but when the stupid cats are lounging, all "It's a Holiday so we're sleeping in" and crap, well, I went and told Norma that Gladys was up so she got up too and I made the bed. It's my fucking bed anyway.

Gee, I think that's really all I had to write.

I woke up at around 9:00, was all ready to get up, and everything. And everything. But I said, "It's a Holiday so I'm staying in bed". I wonder where N and G get it from?? So, I went back to sleep, and dreamed I was a journalist traveling with Backstreet Boys, or 'NSync, or however you write it, or one of those boy bands, and when I got out of the limo/car/whatever, I shook all their little hands, one after the other, and was staying in some hotel, and Madonna was going to be my roommate, but she wasn't there yet, so I was changing the sheets, and I was missing a top sheet, so I went to the front desk to get one, holding out the fitted sheet which had some jungle print or flowers, or I don't know, so they could match it, and no one spoke English. All Spanish all the time. And there was this funky pool with jungle plants all around, inside, and don't you hate reading about other people's convoluted dreams???

Right.

Um, so, it's a Holiday. I slept so much I'm exhausted. I've spent my waking hours so far: making coffee, drinking coffee, washing my face, trying to upgrade my CallWave Internet Answering Machine, being unsuccessful because of an error, then figuring out the error, writing to the dingy customer service rep who didn't read the stupid error message I so painstakingly copied by hand, which would've clued her in to the problem I was having, but since I'm pretty smart I figured it out myself and I wrote back to her, because she asked me to, and all is well, I guess - someone needs to call me to test it - anyone??? - and all I can do now is write in long run-on sentences, and it's fun and I recommend it, and it's most likely due to the fact that the coffee is all that's in my bloodstream (does coffee actually enter the bloodstream? caffeine does, right?).

So then I had to watch "GL" so I could tape today's, and holy moly I need to sit and watch the whole fucking tape when it's through taping, at 4:00, because I need to free up this tape. This gonzo TV viewing thing is getting to me.

I imagine it's hot and steamy outside. It just looks hot and steamy. I haven't been out my door since Saturday night. Wow. It's so great!

Kukla was saying how she has to go out, and she does, every night, and I asked her (this was at work last week) why, doesn't she like her home? Knowing full well that she lives with her sister, her sister's husband, her sister's three children, and her sister's mother in law....... and she said oh she likes her home fine (pshaw! right!), and I said how much I love mine, how I could stay inside for days! And I do. Often. I love my apartment. And I especially love these two ancient wooden bookcases I cleaned and polished so lovingly yesterday, they're here, just to my right, see? Beautiful. They were my mom's. I don't know where she got them. But they're scratched, and beat up, and really nice. They have cool details, like, oh, I can't describe them. But they're nice.

Reminds me though, Jonathan Cainer had some ominous horoscope for me today, something about my home life changing drastically! For a second, just a second, I thought how I shouldn't go out to see that sex movie, that "Piano Teacher" movie because if I do I'll come back and there will have been a fire and I'll have nothing left and I'll be devastated. If I stay here I can at least rescue the girls and a photo album or something.

God, what would I grab? What would YOU grab? There's so much grab-worthy. I would have no clue. Maybe that vase I bought from the cool artist from Virginia at the Arts Festival years ago. That thing cost me like $300! Seriously. It's spectacular, made of porcelain, black and white, a leopard on one side, leaves, and a parrot on the other. Oh, you'd have to see it.

Or maybe some CDs? Maybe some jewelry?

Okay, make me stop this. I'm not going to lose everything today, despite what Cainer says. That dude's on crack anyway!

So far, even though my period has just finally started, and later I will be in pain, and why does it always get really painful and heavy on a Monday, or in this case it will be a Tuesday after a Monday off, so that I go in to work in pain and bleeding heavily? Why?

Also, it took me a while to figure this out, but my periods are coinciding with the Full Moons. Cool, huh? Right.

Um, nothing from Jon yet. I almost, almost, really came awfully close, to writing more email to him last night, just to say, hey, I'm thinking about you and meeting you and kissing you and can I call you or will you call me, or something?!, but thank god I didn't. I should not do that sort of thing. It was a moment of weakness. I am strong. I am independent, I do NOT need a man. I do NOT need kissing and sex, phttt! That's me spitting in disgust! Phhhhhtttt!

Who needs all that? Sex, love, men, hah! Not I!!!

I have books and television and music and a computer! And cats! Books and cats are all anyone really needs ever! Well, and food, and water, and clothes and shelter. See, I have it made!!!!

I'm so rambling. No one is going to read this.

I went back a bit in my diary last night and started reading, I think inspired by the person in France (France!!!!) who sat and read 23 pages of my diary yesterday (23!!!), and it was long and boring. Every page just went on and on and on, and it was on this lavendar background and I was thinking, hey, I need to make a new layout, but just thinking about how I'd do what I want to do made my head spin, so I went back to the new and revised message boards at Moby.com and read some stuff there, and wished I could be with Moby, wherever he is, Amsterdam or someplace, in some hotel room.

Gladys is looking at me, and here is what she's thinking - yes, I know what she thinks, I've known her for 11 years! - Is it TIME? Can we EAT NOW?!!!!

No, it's not time.

What will I accomplish today? Must I accomplish anything? It's a National Holiday! Okay, laundry. Watching my tape. What else is necessary? Food. I need to read my EWs that are piling up. Um, that's it. The rest is gravy, man, gravy.

I hope I can get Friday off, and what if I can't? That's the focus. Positive vibes. What if D., the Supervisor, says I can't, can I then call in sick instead???!!!

:))))))

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