Friday, Aug. 30, 2002 / 5:33 p.m.

~Lots of Little Things~

Here's a little informal poll: Is this font hard to read on your monitor? If so, what font might you find easier to read? This is Tahoma, but it can be changed. Let me know, if you please.

The weather has changed. It seemed gradual, but maybe it wasn't, and I was trying to trace it, when did it start? The change. I think the weekend. Last weekend. When I met Branford for the movie on Sunday I noticed it. Cooler. A marked difference. And now it's barely mid 70s. It's fantastic really. I can't believe I haven't mentioned it, haven't extolled the virtues of the temperature drop.

I've diagnosed the two "L"s with ADHD. Lulu and Laverne have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I don't need a second opinion, and neither should they. The one time Laverne and I went someplace together outside of work, just the two of us, she drove us in her car to the FOX to see "Best In Show", and on the way she apologized for her insane driving by letting me know she has ADHD. (And, it should be noted, she's from Queens�)

Lulu stands in her cubicle, hands on her hips, one foot in front of the other, like she's modeling the latest fashion, and she inserts herself in anything and everything. The two of them, it starts first thing, it never ends. And with Lulu, since she sits across from me I know her all the (unfortunately) better, when she is not participating in some discussion about the latest alarmist current event story, or shoes, or hair, or child rearing, or clothes, or food, or celebrity gossip, she is on the phone, making calls, receiving calls, from her husband, her kids, her cousin, and more. It's ongoing and a bit hard for me to tolerate.

'A bit'? Hah!

Only minutes ago I was on my way back from lunch, in my car, and on that drive here I saw an immense flock of automobiles (Herd? Gaggle? Plethora?) on the Interstate, in the opposite direction, all sitting in place, idling, and I thought (in this order), Wow, I wonder what happened, Fucking idiots - when will they learn to drive so they can prevent crap like that?!, Thank god I made it home for lunch BEFORE that happened!, and Fucking idiots - when will they learn to drive so they can prevent crap like that?!, along with, Whoa, that could've been me sitting there on my way home for lunch!

Last night Mark and I went to the final film in the FOX Summer Film Series. And since we both bought tickets for the whole series and we both only went to certain films, not even trying to see them all, for various reasons, we both had tickets left, tickets we wanted to sell, and at $2 less than the box office asking price you would think it would be an easy proposition. Um, NO! It was like fucking pulling teeth trying to save people that extra $2.

One young woman laughed at us. She was with another woman and a man, looked like a couple, and she walked as far away on the sidewalk from us as she could, laughing and turning to see us as she walked, finally standing at the box office as they paid for tickets, still turning to see us and laugh. Huh?

An older couple simply shook their heads and got in line at the box office.

I was becoming FURIOUS! I said to Mark, "What is WRONG with these people?! Why are they so suspicious? Why don't they want to save $2 a ticket? Why is she laughing, Hey, You, what is so fucking funny?!" - I was outraged, positively, absolutely, it was crazy my reaction.

Finally Mark gave his three tickets away, and he had to force people to take them instead of buying tickets. "Here, they're FREE, just TAKE them, hand them to the man at the door and he'll let you inside."

I gave up on trying to sell mine, it was just one after all, so I decided to give it away, but everyone approaching already had a ticket in his hand, or looked at me like I was offering up a dose of smallpox.

Finally, finally, finally, a woman approached the box office, rifling through her purse for her wallet, all alone to see the Star Wars movie, and I walked up and handed her my ticket, "Here, do you need a ticket? Take it, it's FREE!" and she looked at me with suspicion, mistrust, so I practically stuck it between her fingers, gently tapped her hand, and I said, "It's okay, it's FREE, enjoy."

It took me a few minutes to get past the insanity of the situation. Usually scalpers hang outside event arenas, theatres, etc, to sell tickets at ABOVE the face value, but there are always some sort of Season Ticketholders around too, wanting not to lose money on a show they can't attend, or wanting at the very least to give their tickets away so they don't go to waste. But last night no one would come near me. Mark kept saying it was him, he was throwing me off, he had a vibe, and it's entirely possible. I've never in my life experienced such a thing.

I did shake it off, it didn't take too long, and we sat to watch "Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones" - it is "II", right? Okay, I loved the 'first' three, back in the '70s and early '80s, or just '70s, and when they were re-released in theatres I was right there to see, all three, but I missed the last one, the actual 1st one, or 2nd, or whatever, and I am sorry, but I hate the idea of a 'prequel', I just think it's pretentious and stupid.

Oh my god, that movie sucked ass. I mean as far as story and acting are concerned. And casting. That Hayden Christianson or whatever, egad!, was he awful! And Natalie Portman is pretty, but come on, it was so horrible. Samuel L. Jackson?? Holy Moly, have you ever seen a guy so obviously act for a paycheck? Okay, yeah, "Deep Blue Sea"� er� Samuel, Samuel L., what the FUCK is wrong with you? Dude, you have talent, why oh why are you wasting it?!!! Yeah, it was bad�

All except for the art direction, design, animation, computer graphics, etc. Fantastic! Really. I say remove the actors and what little story there is supposed to be (how many times can we see someone avenge the death of a loved one? - Puhleeze!!!!), and just show a montage of effects. Like the planet where the clones were created, the swelling waves, the constant rain, and those fabulous creatures with the elongated bodies and funky two fingered hands. Lovely to watch.

Luckily my VCR worked to tape "Big Brother 3", so when I got home I was able to watch the Gerry eviction - most satisfying - and the priceless reaction by Roddy (he was terrified - he fears he is next - and the camera closed in on his face as the rest of the 'hamsters' celebrated and let out huge breaths of air). And, 11:00 at night I was eating leftover Thai food, something called "Spicy Veggie Chicken", with rice. I had time after all of that to get online, read some live feed recaps and watch the live feed myself. Such a full day, I know.

This morning I listened to my Walkman in the car on the way to work. Dirty Vegas put me in a perfect mood� not to be here, at work, but in general, and I entered the building whilst listening, didn't even take off my headphones for the first half hour or so I was here. Fun.

Gray, cloudy, big rain clouds, no rain, but cool� nice. Music. Nice. Friday jeans. Also nice. Rings on fingers, for a change, not so nice, hard to type.

Sporadic work, rumours of leaving early, due to "Holiday" (cue Madonna, somebody). Reading about penises in history again, and thank god I've left the 'negro penis' chapter behind - I've read enough grisly details about lynchings and penis removals, racist Colonialist theories, etc., to last a lifetime. Interesting nonetheless, but difficult to read - I actually gasped aloud whilst reading certain portions. Chapter ending on Mapplethorpe's intense fascination with the 'perfect penis' he found in one African American named Milton Moore, and Milton's appearance in Mapplethorpe's infamous photo 'Man In Polyester Suit'� moving right along to my favorite freak, Sigmund Freud, and his crazy, yet often quite valid and fascinating theories on neuroses as caused by sexual dysfunction, and the penis as root of all subconscious thought, neurosis etc.

Good, good stuff. Freud sucking on his cigars, even with prosthetic mouth palette, finally conceding that 'his habit suggested homosexual fellatio, a substitute for the primary human addiction - masturbation - and erotic sublimation brought on by long periods of abstinence in his own marriage to the former Martha Bernays.' And then there was the whole 'circumcised Jews' crap that went on, that they were nearly as ostracized, tortured, castrated, etc., as the African American man was during the era of the lynching. (and to think, in 2002, and for decades now, nearly all male infants are circumcised in hospital, shortly after birth - amFUCKINGazing!)

History is fascinating. All it takes to enthrall me is a good teacher, and a subject other than that of warfare (which is MOST of recorded history, or so it seems), and this teacher is author David M. Friedman, and he has written this book in such a way as to make it very readable, not dry and boring at all. Even with the constant references and quotes from historic texts. A Mind Of Its Own - A Cultural History of the Penis, buy it, rent it, read it now. I doubt you'll regret it. As the blurb by James H. Barada, MD, Director, Center For Male Sexual Health, Albany, New York, states on the back of said tome: "Anyone who has a penis, or knows someone else who does, should read this book." And I agree, so far.

Later: Now we sit and wait, our work is done, at 3:43 p.m., cubicle time, we all are ready to leave early, get this 'Holiday' weekend started. Personally? I don't care. I'd sit here and get paid to read and write, listen to music, answer the occasional phone call - it's only 2 hours after all� but leaving is fine too. What would I do? Go straight home? Dunno. We'll see.

Oh, something else, I was sifting through my Hotmail spam yesterday at work, on my break, deleting here because with the T1 connection it's all the faster, when there I saw something actually written to me, a note from a guy I went to high school with. We were in touch not long ago, maybe a year or so ago, but then stopped writing to each other, and here he was saying "Hi" again. Telling me that he is enrolled in college, at 42 years of age, and he intends to become a Surgical Registered Nurse. Wow. I look forward to re-establishing communications with him. (he was a crush of mine in high school, and we remember events differently, but we did share at least one kiss� nothing further).

That's it for now. 3 pages is plenty, I think.

(*Home now, 5:29 p.m., and it feels good. Everyone practically ran from the office, couldn't quite wait 'til 5:00, more like 4:54, but I stayed, answered phones, talked to Mark on the phone, and now there are possibilities - strangely, I'm hungry, and this after a Royale With Cheese and fries at lunch; why do I crave that meal so often??? Here's the plan: Post this entry, read diaries, check stats, read the BB3 live feed recaps, turn on the feed, check the digital cable for good movies, and if nothing good is on, go out for Chinese, probably takeout. Either obsessively watch the live feeds all night after that, or read the penis book. Choices, I like the choices�)

Cost of the War in Iraq
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