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Friday, Apr. 26, 2002 / 11:42 a.m. ~Full Moon in Scorpio on the Rise~ There�s a great scene in �Run Lola Run� after Lola and Manni rob a grocery store and take off running down the street. They think they�ve made it, they think they�ve gotten the money Manni needs to pay off the guy who will kill him surely if he doesn�t come up with the money he�s lost, and suddenly they�re in slow motion, running, with their bag of money, the manic techno music stops, all is silent and I think it�s Dinah Washington who begins singing, �What a difference a day makes� twenty four little hoooooourrrrssss��, and it�s just this perfect movie moment. It�s unexpected, this song doesn�t fit with any of the rest of the movie, it�s totally incongruous with everything but this one moment, and in that moment it�s so perfect. That song didn�t make the soundtrack album, but I love it, and I felt it this morning, that sentiment. I�m feeling much better today. Actually, I felt immensely better when I left the office to go home for lunch yesterday. What a perfect day! The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the birds were singing, no shit, just perfect. And the wind� the wind was blowing, a front moving in, a cold front, or a high pressure front, or whatever, but the trees were all blowing with it, and of course I looked up at the treetops, as we used to do long ago when we wanted to hit the lake to go sailing, and I said to me, This is a perfect sailing day. It was. It was a �Let�s drive to the lake and get this thing going� kind of day. But I was only going home for lunch, via Hardee�s. I was only going home to eat a Bacon Swiss Chicken Filet Sandwich and get online to check email. I opened the porch door, I opened the bedroom window, and for the first time in weeks I turned off the air, I let the pollen be damned, or me be damned for allowing the pollen into my home, and I turned off the a/c. I keep reading in diaries people saying they finally gave in and turned ON their a/c, and here I finally gave in and turned mine OFF. Too funny. Pollen here is really bad, and I don�t have any known allergies, but still, no one can breathe in all that tree and grass sperm and not have a reaction. And who wants to have pollen inside, added to all the dust that�s normally there? Fuck that. But I even slept with the bedroom window open, woke up kind of cold. It was GREEEEAAT! I don�t know that anyone can feel bad when the weather is so fantastic. Today is the same, even cooler, still blue and yellow and green, green, green, with wind and birds and a fine dusting of yellow granules. I left my window open at home. Possibly a mistake, but we�ll worry about that later. At some point yesterday I was hating being the one to process the department�s mail here at work, I even said it aloud to Penelope, �I�m really getting sick of this�, and by the end of the day I realized it was actually Listerine�s turn to start for a month. So today I can relax, I can sit here in the cube. I�ve got the free weekly newspaper, my Entertainment Weeklys, my CD Walkman (and a new CD Veronica gave me, something she got from Columbia House � of course it doesn�t look too good, but hey), my trail mix, it�s not bad, really, in this moment. After I wrote what I did about Sandy yesterday I got email from him asking for my phone number, he said he lost the little piece of paper on which I�d written it on the bus. Too funny. I chided him, of course, �You lost my phone number between last night and this morning?�. But I gave it to him again and told him he could only call me between 7:25 and 7:53 p.m., because I�d be checking email, reading diaries (well, I haven�t mentioned diaries, now that I know how easy it is for someone to find my diary if he wants to!), and then I�d have to watch �Survivor�. Of course, I was being silly, sarcastic, but he�s being a good sport. He called around 7:05, while I was online reading diaries. I got offline immediately and called him back, told him he was early. He said he needed to go ahead and call then because he�d forget to do it later. Funny, the whole thing. And we talked and talked and talked, until 7:59. �I gotta go, my show�s coming on!� I think we�ll have fun, whatever we do. I casually mentioned a restaurant I�ve been wanting to try and Sandy says, �Great, we�ll go there.� Done deal. He doesn�t want to make decisions, I can tell. I�ve already learned so much about him, it�s amazing. I like most of it, so far. Email from Skipper saying he wants a female companion, and he also likes my sense of humor, my supposed inability to turn off my wiseass personality. He actually likes that. That�s what I like about him too, the wiseass thing. Funny thing here is I wrote to him this, �I am not married, but very selective and independent. However, it would appear I may be dating someone.� Now, I know that I meant that literally, but he thought I was still being a wiseass. Isn�t that funny? I meant it totally literally, �It would appear�� �I MAY be dating someone�� Sometimes I am capable of finding the right words for a given situation. This is a good thing. I�m scattered, distracted, can you tell? It�s 10:11 a.m., cubicle time. We have no water on site. Yesterday there was no water, then there was, then a urinal overflowed, or exploded or something, a wetvac was employed, the break room was off limits, and this morning I had to pee first thing, unusual for me, but I did, and went to wash my hands� nothing. Announcement over the intercom, no water for at least an hour, and everyone suddenly has to go! Kathy and Veronica just went to the Kmart nearby. This feels like a crazy day. And to think I awoke with cramps, sort of doubled over with pain, tired, but it quickly turned to intense energy. This is a Full Moon couple of days. Full Moon in Scorpio, specifically. My god, this is so long, one of those entries no one will read, but I�ll go back and read later. Last night�s �Survivor� was SO good! (I skipped that stupid �The Bachelor: The Women Speak� or whatever it was called, just flipped to it a couple times on commercials.) Finally there was a juicy reward challenge, and Sean and Paschal got to go to a FEAST!! It was so sweet, the �Southern Judge� and the �Brother From Harlem�, in the South Pacific, feasting on roasted pig and goat, and sweet potatoes, girls in grass skirts dancing in front of them, drinking concoctions from coconuts all the while. And Sean on horseback just to get there, saying, �My balls, my balls!� It was great! Seeing two men get all emotional, crying, hugging, kissing, I love that kind of thing. I�m really beginning to like Sean a lot, and he has a great body, mrrraaaaowww! �The Bachelor� finale? Oh, I have too many thoughts on this subject, too many! Our bachelor chose the one who adores him, will fuck him, cook for him, clean up after him, and greet him with a smile and call him �handsome� every single day. Okay. My god, this show sets feminism back to the �50s, since before there was feminism as we know it today � IS there feminism today???!!!! It�s disgusting, but it was disgusting in an entertaining sort of way. Sort of the kind of show you can watch and say, �Omigod, this is SO bad!� throughout. Why watch? It�s TV History. I need a job in television. I need to work in entertainment media, why am I here instead? Hey, my phone is not ringing. This is like the slowest day in history. I can see the sky outside, it�s turning white with clouds. Another front blowing in, this one will contain rain, I can tell. I need to get back with Skipper about seeing a movie tonight. I may put him off �til next week. I�m not sure I can go out with one man one night, another the next. That�s not me. I think I�ll stop here, Page 3 according to MS Word. I feel I could just keep writing and writing and writing, but it wouldn�t be worth reading, and I guess ultimately I�d like to be read, or else why would this diary be online? (that reminds me of when �myroom� wrote in my guestbook that no one reads his/her diary, it�s all locked up and no one can have the key � why have it online then?) Cost of the War in Iraq
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