Monday, Nov. 03, 2003 / 6:27 p.m.

~Ay Caramba!~

Okay, wanna know what's really NOT fun? Pulling off the highway, getting on the exit ramp, looking up to see THREE helicopters hovering over my apartment complex. Fine, yeah, there are several apartment complexes there, but 'copters don't hover like that unless there's a good blaze going. And on the way I'd smelled leaves burning, burning so thick it was hard to breathe. I always wonder if it's homes instead when I smell smoke on the highway, but there's a house there where they burn leaves every Autumn, and then I saw the helicopters.

NOT over the highway where they belong, reporting on this overturned tanker or that four car pileup.

So... I pulled on to my street, and there on the right, the sister complex, the one which now houses our leasing office since ours closed, the one where I pick up my packages, there, right there, was a police car blocking the entrance, waving in certain cars with a flashlight. And as I passed I saw a fire engine just inside the gates.

I pulled into our complex and could barely hear myself worry with the sound of the helicopters flying overhead, hovering, just staying in one place... my apartment was still there! It still IS here!

I turned on the news first thing, still not sure what was going on, switched from channel to channel, listening to the noise outside, nothing, but then yeah, a fire was just put out. A 'three alarm fire' at that. And this is closer than ever before, this is scary close. I kept imagining driving up to my building to see nothing but ash, I could begin to feel what that would feel like, I could see myself crying for days, I could see me getting a hotel room, calling my insurance agent, crying for the loss of my girls. Horrible, horrible stuff.

And they say ten families are out of homes tonight, ten families were burned, or smoked, or watered out, just right there, right next door, at our 'sister complex'.

As soon as that last report on the news, the 'breaking news' story, no more flames to show, nothing but flashing red lights below, people wandering around outside the buildings, the 'copters flew away. They're gone now. It's quiet now. I missed it, I saw no flames, I smelled no smoke.

Now all I have are questions. What happened? Were people home? Did any animals die? Was anyone hurt? Was the leasing office damaged? Is my file still there? What now?

Wow. That was heavy. I gave N and G big hugs and kisses, and they don't know why, but it could've been us, it could always be us, one day it might be us.

That said. Big sigh of relief right here. Should I go offer help? Are those people going to be okay? I wonder. I guess I could walk over there... Or not. They probably have enough bystanders, enough reporters with microphones in their faces. Enough phone calls to make.

Well.

Last night I stayed up writing my novel (I LOVE the way that sounds, 'my novel'), too late really, and I didn't get to sleep until after 2:30 a.m. Yeah, I'm wiped out. I can't believe I made it this far. And I hit a real hard part of the story, a painful part, but I made it through, and I took notes today, or wrote some notes, so I've got to pound out a few thousand words tonight. In a bit, I guess. Before or after the "Joe Millionaire" show, and let's hope there's nothing else on that I feel I simply must watch. It needs to be writing night. Or sleeping night. Or both, hopefully.

I have tomorrow off though, so this is something to look forward to. I booked a dentist appointment, just for a cleaning really, my first in 8 years. Unh huh, that's right. I went religiously for years, every six months, and when I ran out of money I decided I wasn't crazy about my dentist asking me why I didn't work, and I wasn't crazy about spending money to clean my already very clean and flossed teeth, so I said, "No, thanks, I'm okay, I think I'll skip the cleaning, and no, I don't really need another appointment, but thanks anyway", and I moved a couple of times, and figured they couldn't find me anyway, couldn't call me to harass me further.

Since then, much brushing and flossing has occurred, and I only consider going to the dentist when I see that one spot between my two lower front teeth, the bit of 'calculus' that I can't floss away. But then there was that salivary gland thing, that new thing that had me really scared, especially the more I read about what it 'might' be, here, online! Don't research medical problems online, it's terrifying, you'll convince yourself you have everything you read about. Or if you're me, you will.

Alas, I made the appointment, and the silly receptionist has called me about six times since, asking if I want to come earlier, do I want to fill the space of a cancellation?, no, and today she called to remind me to go tomorrow. Good god, it's a cleaning and some X-Rays, not a fucking European Summit!

So, there's that. The Big Day at the Dentist, after eight years. I still don't know if they've retained my file.

After that, I intend to drop off my recylables, the carful I've been driving around. And then? A movie? Who knows, I've not thought that far ahead. Maybe home to write... My Novel.

Whee!

At least I have an apartment, and my girls, and everything here is okay. Man, that was quite a scare, you know?

Cost of the War in Iraq
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