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Sunday, Jan. 20, 2002 / 1:33 a.m. ~One Hand Clapping~ What is my deal? I think just maybe, perhaps, possibly, I wouldn't mind having someone to talk to, someone to share my thoughts with, so instead, and in lieu of (same thing), I'm writing here. Something pops in my head, I'm here anyway, and I stop to write. Last night and tonight. And I don't even know exactly what it is I'm trying to say so I keep skirting whatever the issue is. Because I don't know what it is. I did watch "A Cook's Tour" and it was excellent. I love watching Anthony Bourdain eat. It's like sex for him, he even said so as he was eating sushi and other Japanese goodies made especially for him. The man is so sensual, and food is his life, his whole reason for being. He blows me away. Reading his book was one thing, but watching him walk, the way he moves his body, the way he talks, his accent, his earring in his left ear (that used to be the way it was back in the day, if you were straight you pierced one ear and it was the left - the right indicated you were gay), his respect for the Japanese chefs and their kitchens. I only wish it were an hour long show instead of just a half hour..... And I watched part of the Nerve.com special on HBO. Whoa, major sex, photos of vulvas, preserved animal penises in jars, people getting nasty at a Nerve.com "office party". It was insane, this show. Insane. But I couldn't figure it out really, it was like clicking on the web site, click here, see this, click there, see that. Was there a story? A narration? A central focus or voice? Uh...no. But there was a sound byte that was hilarious, supposedly an MP3 file, see, like being on the web site, but you're not, you're watching HBO. Anyway, it's the sound of a man and woman having sex, intercourse I'd guess, and a dog is in the room. It was called, "man, woman and dog". The dog seemed to be concerned over the woman's screams. Must've been her dog. The man makes his own grunts and groans, but she is really vocal, really getting into it, letting it out, and she reminded me of me, totally, even the "oh GOD!"s, and the "yes, YES!"s. I could relate. But the louder she got the louder the dog got, until they were all going at it together. Now, if that had been me I would've been laughing at the dog. It would've broken my concentration completely and I would've found it very funny, and laughed. But she/they didn't. At the end there was a loud kissing sound. And she said, softly, "I love you". It was sweet. I went to the Nerve.com web site after the show was over, read a couple articles, one on that subject, making a lot of noise during sex, and how it interfered with this woman's sex life completely, i.e. neighbors complaining, etc. Funny. Another, written by the same author, on the subject of pubic hair and the current American fascination with removing it. She compared this era to the Victorian and I couldn't agree more. She also mentioned something really interesting, and I hadn't thought of this previously, but she said that as women's body parts are revealed they are shaved. I know this happened with legs - women didn't shave their legs until it became acceptable, and popular, to show their legs. And now it's the same with the vuvlva. Not that it's all of a sudden popular and acceptable for women to spread their legs and show what's inside, but, well, I know what she meant. She even mentioned Playboy and pointed out the hairiness of the October '72 Playmate. Very, very interesting. I still like it when I meet a man who is turned on by hairy women. I'll never forget meeting William and the look on his face when I told him I don't shave my legs. He was so excited, felt my legs under my jeans. It was a very erotic moment, especially sitting at the bar at my favorite club. Wow. I found a new diary to read, LazyGenius. I was searching for other Diarylanders who like Miles Davis and there he was. It's fun to not only find a diary that's new to me, but that's new, in general. Not too many entries, I can sit here and read the whole thing, get to know the person a bit, and this person is interesting. Sensitive, sensual, free-thinking, and a bit tormented. Just like I like. Plus, he's a 26 year old man, and there is something so compelling about 26 year old men. I just hope he keeps writing so I can keep reading. I guess that's all I have, again, for now. Do you think I'm just trying to go ahead and get past that 300th entry mark??? I'm almost there, and it seems I keep adding entries, like I want to get past it, but really it's just that I want something, and this is the closest I'm getting to having it, whatever it is. This is the closest I'm getting to communicating, and it's wholly inusfficient, of course, because it's just me, it's one hand clapping. Cost of the War in Iraq
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