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Sunday, Apr. 06, 2003 / 4:43 p.m. ~On My Birthday~ If we had a time change, and it's really still one hour ago, how is it the cats are asking me for food already? I really thought this would fool them and I could get the extra hour to be by myself. That's what I get for thinking. I was SO tired today, I slept, and slept, and slept. Even through Hermione's phone call, lying in bed listening (okay, I woke for that, but went back to sleep right after) to her leave me a Happy Birthday message, around 11:00 (she knows I like to sleep late, and what was she doing up at 8:00 a.m. - out West time - anyway?), which was nice, of course, I didn't think she'd do that. I suppose I should call her back, but I'm in a real 'me' kind of mode right now, like I have nothing to give to anyone, I'm just too tired. Obviously I'm out of shape. Obviously I sit in a cubicle 40 hours a week - well, I walk to the breakroom for water, the bathroom to pee, and the copier, the FAX machine and filing cabinet all day, but still, I sit. And obviously I come home and sit here, writing and reading on the Interweb. My exercise machine sits behind me, lonely, gathering dust. Sandy talked about his too, last night, about how it's just a matter of getting ON the thing and USING it. Maybe he was feeling tired too after our 3 mile adventure yesterday. I think marching really slowly is harder than if we just walked. My knees hurt at the end of the day. Perhaps I need new shoes? Oh yes, this is obvious too. I'll be marching in Washington Saturday, again, and it would've been nice if I'd gone out and bought some new athletic shoes this weekend, but no. See? It's not even 5:00, really 4:00, and the weekend already feels over to me. Like it's too late to accomplish anything else, but that can't be true. Can it? Oh, I got electronic Birthday cards from Roadiepig and Caroline, Thanks, Guys!, and Caroline even sent a gift certificate. I've met good people online, but I have to say I felt I sounded like a freak yesterday talking to 'real live' people, telling them about the one article I read online, and the antiwar community online, and then this article and that article, and online this, and online that. Like being online is my life, and that sounds weird to those who aren't online. But then again, that was my own perception of how I was being perceived, which is all in my head. I just can't read people sometimes. The woman I met who does massage and works at a coffeehouse, the one who tried to get me to come to her group's meetings, just looked at me blankly when I told her about the article I read online about the potential for "collateral damage" to unique historical treasures, wiping out thousands of years of history in Iraq, but maybe I was projecting. Sometimes I look for too much response when I talk to people face to face, and if I don't get it I think there's something wrong with me, or my approach, or the way I communicate. I'm a freak. And not having a/c is really hard right now. There must be NO insulation in the attic here, or something, because every time it gets over 75 degrees I feel like I'm in a hothouse. Soon, let's hope. My brother sent me 3 email letters today. The brother I haven't talked to or seen in about four years. That one. Three poems, one about getting older, one about dogs, one about cats (he must've found a good poetry site online), and one a long tale of the difficulties of wrapping a present with a cat around. No personal notes, other than a subject header of "Hey stranger, Happy bday". It made me feel really weird. Sort of guilty, sort of happy, sort of overall strange. But the poems were fun, clever, cute. Another freak. So, it's hot in here, no a/c, I've been hearing thunder off in the distance, so maybe it will not only be hot, but muggy soon. Joy. I've got about 9 "Guiding Light" episodes on tape to watch, and I planned to get out to a movie, but I'm not sure that's going to happen. Obviously I blew off the hockey game this afternoon. Last home game of the season, but I only went to one game this season anyway. I'm not the fan I used to be, and this makes me sad, but I sort of gave up. Ah well. I'll probably watch the Stanley Cup playoffs, I usually do. Dammit, it's hot in here. Oh, I wrote a nice long reply to "Korn", of guestbook fame, last night, but I don't know that he/she will reply. Nothing yet. I'm not here to make enemies, we're all just folks, and yesterday I couldn't have felt more American, so yeah, I'm a patriotic fool, standing up for my rights and all. I'm really looking forward to D.C. next Saturday, I'm ready to go back. Sandy and I talked about his time March 15th, and he's really over it, he's over the rallies, he's over A.N.S.W.E.R and their lack of focus, but I'm fresh, I took off a march, so I'm ready to go back. We shall see what we shall see. Cost of the War in Iraq
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