Wednesday, May. 01, 2002 / 7:49 p.m.

~On the Up and Up, Eh?~

It's so nice to feel support from you guys. Really. After all the crap I've been through here on Diaryland I finally feel like I'm a part of a writing community, I read some great diaries, written by some fabulous women, and a man or two, and it's just finally feeling..... good. You know? Warm and good. Like there are people there, people who can give all I would want from people, and if I don't want them they're not there at all. It's just the right amount. The Interweb is perfect for a misanthrope such as myself. Because I do love people, just not in person.

I wanted to call in sick every morning so far this week, but every morning I've told myself it won't be so bad, it's just sitting and reading after all.

Today I took a total of 29 calls. In 8 hours. Subtract from those 8 hours 11 minutes for copying and FAXing, and another 15 perhaps for getting water and evacuating said water from my bladder, and possibly 15 minutes for processing some documents, and what do we have? The entire rest of that time was spent either reading, listening to my CD Walkman (the batteries are wearing while I'm not using it - I'd swear it keeps turning on just by being banged around in my backpack - I'm vowing to remove the batteries unless I'm actually listening to it), today it was Alice in Chains' "Dirt", and chatting, oh so briefly. Not much for chatting today.

That was my day. An average of 3.5 phone calls an hour. For 8 hours. Approximately 7 documents to process, in said 8 hours. Nothing to process after 3:30. This could be considered hell, or if you enjoy reading, a great way to make money. I'm moving right along in my Entertainment Weeklys, but I still long to be on the current issue. And as soon as that happens I'm grabbing a BOOK to read. I won't just carry it around, I'll read it. I might finish Fast Food Nation, or re-start Comfort Me With Apples, or maybe that book on the WTC, Divided We Stand, or Noam Chomsky's (Oh, I LOVE to say Noam Chomsky!!! Say it, it's fun! Drag it out a bit: Nome Chaaaahmskeeee) 9/11, or maybe some fiction, I haven't read fiction in a while. Oooooo, I own SO many books, so many books, so many books, I could go on, I LOVE my books. I don't read them because I have this anal obligation to my EW 'scrip. Must read every issue, cover to cover. Fall behind, and books are like dessert that can't be eaten until I've finished all my peas, or my spinach or something.

This doesn't mean I'm excited to go to work tomorrow because I can sit and read my EW and move along into the realm of actual BOOKS, au contraire! But, I will be glad when I'm reading some books for a change. A welcome change.

Speaking of change, my horoscope is all about irrevocable change this week, and I don't feel a thing. I don't understand Jonathan Cainer at all. His horoscopes for me never make any sense, yet I read them obsessively.

Sandy hasn't called me today. But it's early. (mean, mean, mean!) Seriously, I think he's getting the message that he just went overboard, all there is to it. It could've been really different. I don't want to be with any man who NEEDS to be with someone. Even the WANT has to be in moderation. Until after we start having good rowdy sex, then it would make sense that he'd want to be with me every second. Yeah. I understand that part.

Should I be having horizontal dividers here for my drastic segues?

I went to the Whole Foods/Farmer's Market after work, just to grab something fast that's healthy, like fast food, but not a burger and fries, more like another of those Chicken Adobo Burritos, and ended up getting some organic/free range eggs, green onions, baby Portobello mushrooms, the most beautiful tomatoes I've ever seen, organic grapefruit, a mango, cilantro, huge lemons, some mozzarella bonconccini (I never know how to spell it and I'm not going to go look), some tofu salad and a HUGE chef salad which I quickly devoured only a short while ago. It was heavenly. I made the effort to suck up every last julienned carrot slice, and piece of lettuce. It even had Greek olives in it!

So, I'm feeling much better. Maybe the worst is over now. The period almost over, things toning down a bit, maybe no more frustrated crying before bed, maybe doing, not thinking about doing, maybe finding a way to enjoy myself while doing that which I feel needs doing. And there is a lot of reading in my future, since the Free Weekly refuses to grant me a job interview. Their loss. Man, I would kick some ass in any editorial capacity, I'm telling you. Fuck Journalism degrees! They're cheathing themselves.

I realized "Batman", the series from the '60s, is on TVLand right now. And why do I never watch that channel? I need some comfort TV. Then, "Amazing Race", tape "Felicity", watch "Felicity" on tape, and the night is good.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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