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Thursday, Oct. 24, 2002 / 1:27 p.m. ~Relapse, and the Reason Why~ I feel I'm in the midst of a relapse. Or maybe it's some new strain. Some super-human, genetically engineered, bio-engineered strain of phantasmagoric new and improved virus. Here are my symptoms: I found myself gagging this morning while I was getting ready to go to work. I felt extremely tired, one might say exhausted, though I'd had plenty of sleep. My neck hurts. I still have a constant urge to cough. My eyeballs are hot. I still cough, a lot. My throat is hot. I have a fever, a low grade fever, though I don't know the exact temperature. I feel like crap. But, and this is very exciting, I bought an advance ticket to the Opening Night of "Bowling For Columbine" - it's tomorrow. And as is to be expected from the Modern Movie Marketing Campaigns for Independently Produced Films, it's in an "Exclusive Engagement" at one theatre only. Brilliant. It works like this, you make a really controversial film, you take it Cannes, you show it Overseas first, of course, then you open it on the Coasts, the Right and the Left, then in "Select Cities", then word of mouth escalates, you send out emails to your list of leftist liberals and Libertarians asking them to make the Opening Weekends BIG, BIG, BIG! And� they do. Because they respect and admire you. Count me in. I know he's not for everyone, he's big, like BIG, he's goofy looking, he gets in people's faces, but he's the Ultimate American Patriot, if you ask me, and I know you're not, but Michael Moore should win some kind of award just for being Michael Moore. So, I go tomorrow, and I am not risking the sellout situation of one "Blair Witch Project", because that was a fucking joke. I'd drive to that theatre (the same one, by the way), as in 'all the way to TOWN', and there would be a huge line, and it would be sold out because of folks who ordered tickets through the MovieFone thingie. Nope, I am one of THOSE folks now, for an extra $1.25 in service fees. I am paying $9.25 to see a movie tomorrow night. I was telling Listerine about it, here at work, and I was trying to think if that's the most I've ever paid to see a movie, but then I remembered the premiere of "The Perfect Storm", at the FOX, the Jane Fonda sponsored, charity benefit premiere, that I went to, and how it was maybe $25 or more, but I felt it was worth it, the charity one for helping to end teenage pregnancy. A good cause. A crappy movie (since I'd already read the book, which was most compelling and fascinating), but a fun experience. Blech, I am feeling so sick. This is not fair at all, I am supposed to be recovering, not feeling like I need to recline. My voice barely escapes my throat every time I answer the phone, and the phone seems to be ringing a good bit more than usual. I'm getting stupid calls too, and one woman hung up on me after I helped her, no warning, just hung up when she was through with me. Fucking bitch. She was changing her address so she'd get her final paycheck, she is already separated, and I have to tell you I considered (I almost said, "I had a mind to") not doing it, but then I remembered we are monitored randomly� Errrrrrr. Lunch is soon. I think I'll bring my talking thermometer back here, so I can impress everyone with how sick I think I am. "Your body temperature is� 98.8 degrees Fahrenheit". I'm looking for validation, so can we get a "Your body temperature is� 105 degrees Fahrenheit"? No, I guess then I'd be delirious, though I'm not far from that now. Every phone I call I get pisses me off tremendously, everyone I talk to is irritating and stupid. Or is it just me??? Hey, what about those idiot lawyer babes on "Amazing Race" last night? "Does walk mean walk, or can we run? What does walk mean?" Maybe that's typical of people having to decipher 'legalese'� "What is your definition of 'sex'?" Did I mention I feel crappy? I'm achy, I'm feverish, my throat is ruined. It's cancer, right? It's that big mole on my back. Well, no more snipings, that's a good thing, yes? The talk radio shock jock I listened to a while ago was saying how this is worse than September 11, 2001. This is Al Qaeda, etc. We should all be afraid, very afraid, but oh, don't go lock yourself in your basement or anything, just live in fear. Go about your 'normal' business, just be very afraid. Because we are in fact doomed. Unh huh. Whatever. This is all I can muster now, a piss poor excuse for writing, I know, but I don't feel good, did I mention that? God, I hope I'm not coughing tomorrow night� that would not be good. This is my first really public excursion since my big illness (am I a baby or what?!, it's a fucking COLD!). Hey, I just talked to Penelope about her new schedule, and talking to a person not on the other end of the phone actually made me feel a bit better. Plus, I laughed, I made her laugh, as I am wont to do, make the public laugh, and maybe it was the curative powers of laughter that made me feel a tad more like I'd like to feel. I have a feeling food, i.e. lunch, will make me feel better too. I'm just trying to figure out what lunch is. What I'll 'eat', I know what it 'is'. Okay, here's what it really is, my coffee grinder malfunctioned again today. No coffee for me. I'm 'out of sorts', and I knew I would be. Coffee here at work SUCKS, so I did without. Basically it's like this, my VCR works sometimes, mostly it does not. My coffee grinder works sometimes, mostly it does not, my digital cable works, but it's wonky. Everything is breaking down and I'm postponing repairs/replacements until I feel the urge to 'handle' it all. Life can be such a hassle. Cost of the War in Iraq
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