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Friday, Sept. 26, 2003 / 7:34 p.m. ~My Right Is Reserved~ I wonder why Lay's feels the need to compete with Pringles. Were they a threat? Why the current war? All out war. And I bought into it, had to try the new Stax, or Stacks, or whatever, because there they were, and there I was, at a drugstore instead of my beloved shopping emporium, the evil and dreaded Wal Mart, store of necessary boycotts and lambasts. No, I went to a drugstore, a smaller chain, a smaller store, to get items that Wal Mart doesn't seem to keep in stock, or does, but sporadically. I never know which shelves will be bare there, and I was in need. Not of the chips, that was impulse shopping, for which I am notorious. No-TOR-ee-uhs! Ah, anyway. They taste EXACTLY like Pringles. And I'm having this thing with my mouth. I know I wrote about it here, only days or weeks ago, this feeling of dryness in my lower lip, like I have cotton gauze stuffed there, it's horrible, this thing. Last night I read all about what it might be, but isn't, online. WebMD was down, but I read elsewhere, and there was a lot to read. I convinced myself I have halitosis, and learned how to smell my own breath (one cannot smell one's own breath, it's an acclimation issue), realized I don't have halitosis, but people have backed up from me while I was talking, usually in my cube, and I always say, "Is it my breath? Is it the garlic?". But then I read about a dry mouth disease, or rather a symptom of something else, some real disease, or malady, or ailment, and it has a name, one of those starting with 'x' names, and Moby would love it because he loves to play Scrabble. This word, if you had the letters to form it, would probably win you the game. But then I thought about poor Roger Ebert and his salivary gland tumor, and thought maybe that's it, and what if I have to have surgery? How awful and expensive. The cost would have me selling everything I own, living under a bridge for the rest of my life. As would any surgery really, I suppose. It's the lower lip, the inside, it feels weird, like it's scraping against my teeth. And if I'm lacking saliva, this is serious, as my teeth could rot off my gums as a result. I must move away from this topic, as I have no answers. And I am in great discomfort, especially after eating. Like now. I'll just keep putting my tongue there, that'll make it okay for now. "Survivor" is good, by the way. Quick change of subject. And the premiere of "CSI" was good, if a two-parter - whose idea was THAT?! And I forgot to note that the season finale of "BB4" was rather horrifying. Unlike some, I liked Jun, and I thought Allison was real and played the game as nastily as she wanted, it worked for her. Like Richard Hatch. They were female Richard Hatches. So what? Why berate them so? I think Erika's racist comments about Jee, for which she did apologize, but in that, "I'm not really sorry, but I'll say I'm sorry to appease you" sort of way, were much worse than anything Jun did or didn't do, or said or didn't say. And hell, and fuck it too, she cooked for EVERYONE the entire almost three months! Jesus, people. Show some appreciation! I was sad for her, sad that she won the whole enchilada, the whole half million, and why can't it be a whole million anyway?, and no one congratulated her, they all just slammed her. It was mean. They'd all said as bad, been as mean, etc. And as a result of watching the almost three months of "BB4", I now say "Dude!" all the time. Even when I'm by myself, even talking to the cats, "Norma, dude!, get off of there!" Especially at work, "Dude, did you watch that too?!" They all say "Baby" now, because Veronica says it, in her lazy, Southern coastal town drawl of a way. I doubt they'll join me in the "Dude" thing, but they might. Okay, here's one way to check your breath... No, don't cup your hands over your mouth, that will not work. Lick the back of your hand, like you're about to do a tequila shot, pre-salt sprinkle. Wait about 10 seconds, give a whiff. Something about the combination of the sulphur with the salt of your skin, I don't know. You may be unpleasantly surprised. The worst thing I'm watching these days, well, it's only been on once so far, but it's something I abhorred, I denounced, I ridiculed, etc., etc., when it was first on, before I joined in because it was SO BAD it was GOOD, yeah, I know, it sets feminism back hundreds of years, and what happened to feminism anyway? Am I the only one left? But yeah, I admit it, okay, I make no apologies, I always reserve the right to change my mind, numerous times even... I'm watching "The Bachelor". And it's disgusting. So I have to watch. One woman interviewed, or maybe they call them all 'girls', said if Bob chooses her she will be his SERVANT! She will wait on him, give him whatever he wants. One other said she is ready to get married, and the clock is ticking, tick, tick, tick. What is wrong with these women? Who ARE these women? And how nice that the producers admitted one of the criteria for selection is that you look good in the hot tub. Yes, the 'girl' chosen to be a part of Bob's harem must want to marry Bob, she must be young, vivacious, severely lacking in common sense and intelligence, and she must look HOT in a bikini. Too many caps? I'll tone it down a bit, although it is for emphasis, let's not forget. I'm thinking, though, after watching the premiere of the 'Bob' Bachelor show (really, I prefer "The Bachelorette", much more my style), maybe it's really a parody after all. Yeah, something is wrong with my mouth. I remember that Love actress, Julia Love Hewitt, or Love Julie Howitt, or whatever her name is, on Letterman one time talking about how she had trench mouth and how awful it was, and I think I wasn't the only one watching saying to myself, "Ewwwwwww". Is that what this is? No sores, just this discomfort in the lower lip and the tongue. Like all my teeth feel too sharp, the tongue is too sensitive, there is saliva, but it all feels dry and sandy. I need to visit a dentist. I feel like I want to coat the inside of my mouth with Vaseline. In fact, maybe I will. This entry is all over the place, I know, but very few people actually read this far down the page, if they read at all, so I'm good. There was a horrible car accident near here last night. By 'near' I mean somewhere within a 40 mile radius. Anyway, the news anchor interrupted the syndicated "Everybody Loves Raymond" or "King of Queens" or whatever, to say, "We have live breaking news to show you, a really horrible car wreck on blah, blah, blah highway", but he didn't say blah, blah, blah, not really, and then the helicopter pilot said it was the worst wreck he'd ever seen, and he said traffic was backed up in both directions because of rubberneckers and diverted traffic. Both cars were cut in half, blood oozed out of each. Maybe there were more than two, I couldn't look, and I really didn't understand why they were interrupting programming to show it. Is this what it's come to? Hell in a handbasket, I tell you. Okay, one last thing, I'm currently in the midst of doing something I said I'd never do again, never, I marked my words and everything. It just goes to show you, I reserve the right to change my mind, always and forever. It's for a good cause. Wish me luck! (Might explain later, might not - don't forget, no one is reading this! Shhhhhhh...) Think I'll watch the new Alicia Silverstone 'dramedy'. Cost of the War in Iraq
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