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Friday, Jul. 04, 2003 / 12:56 p.m. ~A Brief Scare, and a Skewed Linkers List~ Last night the Interweb bored me, finally. I wanted an Interweb obsession, but nothing did it for me. I read all the journals and diaries that were updated, and didn't want to go back any farther. Read political articles on the state of things, and just shook my head, or nodded in agreement. All of it was stale. I defragged and went to bed. But when I turned this thing on today it wouldn't start, I got the blue screen, an error message saying some task was not shutting down and I should press any key to continue, and pressing any key, even the triumverate, the control+alt+delete, did nothing. I pressed restart and had to start the PC in 'safe mode', always weird and unpleasant. And I looked at the Troubleshooter, and found a way to stop the Winamp at startup and disable the Windows Critical Update crap that always managed to start Task Manager on startup too, and I was told my PC needed to restart to affect these changes, and it did, and all is well. Whew. I was thinking I cannot possibly take it in to the IT guy again, not after the embarassment that was the Thank You card, etc. No, not again. Basically that, NO, NOT AGAIN!, picturing using the old PC again, after this, after being semi-spoiled once again. Yesterday I found out someone who has me linked as a favorite is no more of this Earth. He's gone. His body is buried in the ground and he will never write in his diaries again. He has two diaries on Diaryland, but he hasn't updated in months, and now I know why. Even with Andrew's settings that should wipe out an older diary, his oldest is still viewable, and this is doubly creepy. I wonder about another, for she hasn't updated in months either, and she was always unhappy being alive. I wonder how many Diarylanders and LiveJournalers stopped writing because they're dead now? If this is just like life, if this is actually real life, it's all entirely possible. I'm not dead yet, I'm still here, and I'll probably always write, even though previous entries embarass me and I often imagine myself deleting all entries but the current. It's all still here. I signed his guestbook last night, both actually, like I was saying goodbye, though he's already gone. How odd is that? I slept too much, I'm groggy, and though I had two more days it appears I've started my period too. Doubly tired and groggy. I think there are all sorts of TV special events, James Bond all day on TNN, or maybe more Hepburn movies on AMC (wildly inferior to TCM in every way, though it was once its superior, shame, shame with the commercials!), even "GL" should be on later. I'm just wondering if stores are open. I need food. And I need to go see some movies showing in theatres, the "Winged Migration" still, and "L'Auberge Espagnole" while they're still out. I'm going to drink black coffee now and try to be awake and alive. Right now I'm still bogged down by dreams. I dreamed of my ex again, the one who's celebrating his 12th wedding anniversary today in fact. My subconscious mind is apparently really keeping good track of these things. How can I forget so much, yet remember the details I'd rather forget? *One more thing, I had to look at a map online to see where Liberia is. At least I knew what continent it's on, but does the rest of the American population? We're going to be sending troops into fucking Africa now? Another evil dictator must be deposed? This goes against everything I know, there can't be oil there, for what purpose shall we assist dark skinned people? Who thought the U.S. cared? It goes against everything the Stupid White Men stand for. Is this a pre-Election year ploy of some kind? Cost of the War in Iraq
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