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Tuesday, Jul. 16, 2002 / 11:44 a.m. ~The Answers Are Out There/Dead Can Dance~ Yesterday it was Moby�s �Ambient�, but it proved too melancholy. Today it�s Dead Can Dance�s �Spiritchaser�. I saw them perform on the tour for this album. The best concert I�ve ever attended. They played at Symphony Hall, of all places, and there was one Goth girl who danced in the aisles all night. I wanted to join her. It was transfixing, it was hypnotic and perfect. How can one describe their music? It sounds Middle Eastern, or Pagan, or fantastic, evocative of pure fantasy, it�s unlike anything else you�ve ever heard. Lisa Gerrard has gone on to compose music for films, and didn�t she win an Oscar for �Gladiator�?. Dead Can Dance no longer exist. But to see them live� oh, it was a spiritual experience, a tribal gathering of sorts. Lisa would stand barefoot, in her long gown, covered neck to toes, hair pulled back, so serious, in front of her hammer dulcimer. Brendan Perry would stand in front of his microphone, moving gently as he sang. And the percussionists, most also barefoot, playing all manner of instruments I�d never even seen before. I never wanted it to end, that show. When it was over I felt as if I�d traveled to someplace wonderful, ethereal, and unfortunately existing only in that moment. This is a great album, I highly recommend it, �Spiritchaser�. Every time I open a program on my new PC I get a message saying a newer version is available and do I want to download it now?, so I do, usually. Last night it was Windows Media Player, just so I could watch one of Moby�s videos. The video played, at first, then it was broken up, not a constant stream. Then I got audio, but no video. It got late and I defragmented again and went to bed. I figured I�ve been deleting a lot from the hard drive, and downloading even more, transferring files, etc., so I�d better clean it back up, and when I logged back on to the Interweb, briefly afterward, the whole thing froze. No �control + alt + delete�, no nothing. That was frightening. However, I do take comfort in knowing that I still have my old PC, nothing is wrong with it at all, it�s just slow and doesn�t have much room left on the hard drive. I also noticed something I think I knew about, but purposefully forgot� using a 56K modem doesn�t mean I am connecting at 56K. Same with my 19.2. I always connected at 14.4. Whatever that is, 14,400bps, I think. Bits per second. So the 56K is connecting at 28, sometimes 31. Who told me this? I can�t remember. Maybe Robert? He said my phone line may not be equipped for the 56K, since the lines are for an apartment complex, they�re split or something, can�t handle that speed actually. Once I realized this last night, holding my cursor over the ISP connection icon in the tray, I suddenly thought it was all so very slow, but still it�s faster than it was. I was swayed by what I saw, by the numbers. I�m going to research the DSL, see what�s necessary to get it, exactly how much it will cost, and what will be involved as far as a service call goes. I hate strangers entering my abode, especially my library/computer room. It�s such a personal space. I�m sitting here in the cube, 9:35 a.m., and Laverne is talking incessantly, in her New Yawk accent, seriously, non stop, blah, blah, blah, yak, yak, yak, as if she cannot stop. Our previous Supervisor, a man, would come around and ask people to hold it down, gently, he�d take his hand and hold it out parallel to the floor, as if he were pushing the volume down himself. �Keep it down�, he�d smile. He smiled it. And hugged everyone, all the time. There was a time when I found his behavior flirtatious, but I�m sure he meant well. I do miss his ability to actually �supervise� when it was needed. Quincey hugged me a little bit ago, just for signing some sympathy card for her yesterday. I truly did not know what to write. I wrote something like �Thoughts be with you�. What the hell is that? Penelope had handed me the card, said, �It�s for Quincey, her son�s father is in the hospital�, not �Her ex-boyfriend�, �Her husband�, �Her ex-husband�, not �Her dear friend�, but �Her son�s father�. It�s a different culture, I tell you. She tells me he�s hooked up to tubes, he�s holding his own. Hell, I don�t know this woman at all, I don�t even know what happened to �her son�s father�, why he�s hospitalized. But I was sitting here typing, lost in this music, and my own thoughts, and along came this hug. Totally off track, no segue available at this time, but I am too skinny. My arms and legs are pitifully thin. I eat. It�s not that I don�t eat. I�m not anorexic, I don�t really have an eating disorder, though I joked not long ago that I do. I look at my arms all day in this fluorescent light, see how the left one is tan, the right is pale, and the hair seems longer than it ever was, as if suddenly it�s growing. Like my nose hair. Oh yeah. There was some pop band on �Loveline�, on MTV, one night, and the lead singer was talking to Adam Carolla about aging, about how hair springs up in the weirdest places, like his ears! And Adam, being a hairy guy himself, agreed wholeheartedly. These guys were in their 30s. Okay, Lulu is gossiping about someone�s life, some person who fathered some child, and he�s denying it, and paying child support, or I don�t even know, so she, Kukla, and Laverne are going on and on and on. Yes, there is paperwork to do, and yes, I used to participate in all these ridiculous conversations, back when I tried. To assimilate. I no longer care. I can�t join in anymore, I�m not like them and I won�t pretend I am. I�m on Track 3, �Indus�, and there�s this musical chorus, this riff, played by synthesizer I guess, sounds like a section of violins, but it�s totally ripped off from the Beatles, every time I hear it I think that, and it distracts me. I need to figure out what song it�s from� I�m thinking it�s off �Sgt Pepper�s�, but I can�t tell you the exact song� maybe �Revolver�??? Anyone? It goes, �With our love, with our loooove, we can change�??? It sounds Middle Eastern-y? The sky is blue today. The air is clean-er. One week �til Moby. Oh, I realized I made a grave error in yesterday�s entry! I referred to this as a �public forum�, and to think I got into a HUGE online Interweb-y �fight� with some other Diarylander because he insisted my diary is a public forum. I said, NO, NO, NO, it�s a diary, my diary� and now I�ve called it a public forum. I�m such a hypocrite. Too bad he no longer reads this so he could read it and say, �I told you so� in my guestbook. Yeah, too bad. ! Dammit, what IS that song?! Any Beatles experts out there? If I remember, I�ll research it tonight from my own collection. *On phone with Mark � he knows the answers to everything! (and he has Interweb access!) �Within You and Without You�!!!!!!!!!!! Music and lyrics by the now departed George Harrison, Esq. Fantastic! So, Dead Can Dance �tipped their hats�, surely they knew it was his riff, surely they knew what they were doing. I think I need to listen to �Sgt Pepper�s� tonight after work, in tribute. Anyone have a question? Call Mark at work, he has access to all knowledge. It�s at his fingertips. You know how we pinned it down though? I called him and put my earpiece to my Walkman headphones earpiece, just one ear, and when he heard it he started singing it, but neither of us knew all the lyrics. Eventually it popped in my head that �When I�m 64� is after it on the album, and how funny that is, how juxtaposed it seems, and once I realized that, then we knew, or I knew, it was �Sgt Pepper�s�, so Mark found the song list for the album and there it was. God, I love research! MS Word says this is now Page 3, so I�m Audi. Cost of the War in Iraq
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