Tuesday, Dec. 24, 2002 / 2:30 p.m.

~Um... Merry Christmas?~

Fucking Holidays, I just wanted to get some fucking cat litter and some fucking juice and some fucking toothpaste, but I guess that's impossible because it's fucking Christmas Eve. I couldn't even get a fucking parking space in the entire fucking parking lot outside the fucking grocery store.

I know that's a generous display of the word 'fucking', but I haven't been able to get close to a store in days, they've all been packed, and I just need regular stuff, you know? Is it too much to ask that the persons who are not celebrating be allowed to shop also?

I'm not as angry as I appear.

We got off work early, at 2:00, and we were notified early in the day that we would in fact get off early, and we would in fact be paid (the ENTIRE SITE), and our new supervisor told everyone in our department that it was thanks to me. I wasn't looking for accolades, but it was nice to get them. I felt sort of humble in front of the group, but privately I told Listerine how really great it feels to know that one person can indeed make a difference, how empowering it feels, how we've all wanted to do something about it, for years now, but no one ever did, until I approached the new/old Site Manager.

Listerine and I talked about how the previous Site Manager was so unfair, so unreasonable, and she never would've considered paying us for leaving early due to Site closings, but the new Site Manager, who was the Site Manager before the previous one (who was canned, by the way, and thank god, and rightfully so) is so approachable, so FAIR, etc.

I told the group how important it is to SPEAK OUT when you perceive an injustice, how the Site Manager really does have an Open Door Policy, to make use of it, not to sit back and let issues fester within yourself.

I suppose I shouldn't be counting my chickens before I see my next paycheck, just to be sure he came through, or that Payroll came through for him for us, but for now, WOW! I made a difference, and it feels AMAZING!

I was high with it earlier, again trying not to be cocky or proud, just humble, but the feeling of making a difference had me high. I think it may only work with a good Manager, or a good President, one who will listen, one who is fair, and who is open to change.

It's possible hundreds of thousands will march on Washington next month, to protest a possible genocidal invasion of Iraq, but will Bush Jr. listen? No doubt he'll be out of town, as he is during every protest, and it won't make a difference. I'm doubting we have the power, but I know now that in a small way, anyone can have the power to affect change for the better.

Twelve hours of my personal/sick time used this year alone for early closings, departmental, Site-wide, for being sent home early the day before Major Holidays, and never being paid, using my time, MY time. Never again, according to him, the new/old Site Manager, never again. He says we will forever after this be paid the full eight hours for showing up to work. Is this possible?

And it's because I went straight to the top? Because I wasn't afraid? Because I spoke to the right person this time, said all the right things, and that's all it took?

Wait 'til I see my check, I know, I know. But still.

So, I can't shop. I can't leave my apartment basically. Traffic is horrible, the streets are wet, it rained ALL night last night, it's a misty, cold rain now.

And I woke all night last night, over and over, tossing and turning, listening to the rain, each time thinking how odd that it was STILL raining, hard, continuous.

I need to see about getting some grub to eat tomorrow, because no doubt tomorrow will be worse..... everything will be closed. Fucking Holidays.

Here's one good thing (yes, I can only think of one right now, one immediately good thing), I got home and found a note from UPS at my door, my package from Amazon.com had arrived, so I went to the office to get it and the UPS truck was just dropping everything off at the office, the maintenance dude was there to receive everything, no doubt just about to leave.... so I got my 365 Cats calendar I ordered, not that it couldn't have waited until next week, but Amazon.com said I'd get it by the 24th and I DID. I think that's pretty cool.

My jeans have a hole in the butt, just below the right rear pocket. I just noticed, and I've been wearing them to work. Heavens.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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