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Wednesday, Aug. 13, 2003 / 11:00 a.m. ~Killing Time~ Far too much energy. I cut my nails, nice and short. I feel like having sex, totally, completely. This is most inconvenient. And I�m thinking I should have sex with Sandy, but he�s shy, I�d have to make the first move. I�ll change my mind, no doubt. My pants are loose � I�ve lost weight? Must be all the water, and microwave popcorn. Distractions. Is it the new coffee beans? Is this result of raspberries and cream beans? �Queer Eye For the Straight Guy� is so educational. I want the Fab Five to clean my bathtub too. And what will happen on �Boy Meets Boy� when James finds out some of the �mates� are straight? I admit I thought Dan was way too over the top to really be gay. And I�m convinced Franklin is straight too, possibly because I want him all for my own. Mmmmm� He�s beautiful. More action at the abode in the a.m., after I opened the door and said �Oh shit!� to the rain, closed it and saw in my peripheral vision the police car outside, then heard the knocking, looked out the peephole, saw the cop, went to get the clunky shoes that can be rained upon, heard the knock on what sounded like my door, saw the cats running into the bedroom, went to the door, saw the cop, through the handy peephole, opened the door to him, and he asked if I knew my neighbors, across the breezeway this time. I know their faces, that�s it, I forgot her name immediately upon hearing it the one time I did, and yes, it�s a woman and her teenaged son, and no, I�ve not seen them lately, but I don�t often, and the father of the boy has called the police because he hasn�t heard from them in two weeks?, and no, I don�t remember the last time I saw them, but she drives a red car, and it has a magnetized sign on it, because she delivers subpoenas, and look, that�s where she parks, down there, but wait, her car�s not there� And all the while, I�m looking at this cop�s hair, because it�s shaved, all but one patch on the top, like a monk, but not at all, like he just wanted to leave a little bit, and I�m looking at the top of his head, and worrying about my neighbors, and picturing foul (I spelled it �fowl� at first) play, imagining the worst, and he tells me if I see them, the neighbors, the woman and the teenager, to tell them the police were there, looking for them, the father/ex-husband is worried. I was three minutes late to work. There was a downpour as I exited my car, I�m still not dry. With umbrella even. I really want to have sex right now, and yes, again, this is most inconvenient. Must find distractions. 10:29 a.m. cubicle time. Is it wrong that I want to be a gay man? Cold fingers are harder to make use of, of which to make use. I�m killing time. Cost of the War in Iraq
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