|
Saturday, Feb. 23, 2002 / 1:10 p.m. ~Writing~ As much as I love and totally respect the English language, and tend to belittle anyone who doesn't know it and treat it as it should be treated, I love to play with it, I love to buck convention, to rebel against the "rules of writing", Strunk and White be damned! So, in my little online diary, I've written in a few different "styles", my favorite being the conversational style, of sorts. I start sentences, gleefully, with "But" and "So" and "And"! Horrors! I like to use "Fuck" and "Shit" and "Omigod", and occasionally throw in a "Gawd" even though I never really say it like that. I also truly enjoy "taking our lord's name in vain", being the staunch Agnostic I am...so I write "god" instead of "God" usually, and I like to say "Jesusfuckingchrist", and let me add here that both my parents used to say, "Jesus H. Christ!", which my brother and I always found very funny, and we would spend many minutes guessing at Jesus' middle name. "Harry, no, Henry, no, it's Herman!", etc. I do believe I am capable of formal writing, but I've never once considered writing here, on Diaryland, to be anything resembling a formal experience. Therefore, and herewith, and henceforth, and backwards again, I love to sprinkle in the vernacular, the slang, the occasional Ebonics (which, in general, I DESPISE), because it's fun. Because I'm writing here in place of talking to the friend I don't really have. Diaryland = Substitute for Friend Dear Diaryland, You are my friend. Yo! This diary is tight! Yeah, whatever. I also like to use "yeah", and sometimes "yeppers", and it bothers me that people aren't as familiar as they should be with the expression "What's the haps?". If I'm required to know what "bling bling" is, and what it means when a girl is a "dime", and that "tight" is pretty good, that "on the down low" is super secret, you should know what "What's the haps?" means. Sometimes I sit here and read back through my diary, for the hell of it, to remind myself that I can write, to see if any of it is good, and I find myself wanting to submit portions to Quoted, maybe under a pseudonymn, a fake email address, you know, "Hey, have you read Joleen? She is fucking excellent! Tight, even!" But then I find a new diary, one that's really well written, and I think, oh, man, I suck big time, or as the kids say, "I am ass", or is it "I suck ass"? Ass is being used in interesting ways lately. It's not me though, it's someone else's style, and let her have her style, mine is mine. It doesn't mean it's bad, and maybe my sister-in-law was right, she the English Major, Lawyer, etc., when she tried to tell me that dialect and vernacular are not wrong, per se, they are merely regional variations on the English language in general. Nothing wrong with that, no need to berate someone for her pronuncication of the word "orange". It's a regional inflection, what makes us diverse and interesting as people. Mmmm hmmmm. And what's her reasoning behind the acceptance of Ebonics??? We haven't spoken in a long time. Perhaps I should send her an email. My point, and yes, I have one. A diary was recommended to me, so I've been reading it, and I added it to my list of favorites, and it's fucking excellent, and reading it makes me feel totally inadequate, and that is wrong. Plain, simple. I have my own style. Doesn't mean I suck. I love to play here with language. I could write, "It does not mean I suck", but I prefer to start my sentence without the obligatory pronoun. It's more fun. To me. And this is my diary. Defensive? No, just trying to figure out why reading the work of a good writer should make me feel bad about myself. And no, I don't really feel THAT bad, just a little insecure, a little embarassed, but overall, yeah, I still think I'm pretty good, and I don't intend to change my style here. My diaries, and I've been keeping diaries/journals since I was 10, have always been unpretentious ramblings. No assumptions here, no aspirations to be anything other than what I am, me. I'm honest, forthright, opinionated as hell, and at times very lazy in my writing style(s), but I do have my own style. That's what separates me from her. From any good diarist. I do not need to emulate anyone else, it's important that I retain who I know I am, write as I please, and if anyone else enjoys what I write, great! If not, well, it was really for me all along, now wasn't it? I just let out a big breath. Why does it seem I'm holding my breath so much of the time? I need to get back into Yoga. Seriously. Deep stretching, deep breathing, Hatha Yoga. Good stuff. I signed my lease renewal today. Another year. Guaranteed. And...I did not win the Big Game Lottery last night, again. Therefore, I show up to work as planned, on Monday. I plan to see "Les Pactes Des Loups" today. I hope I spelled that correctly, I'm guessing. But I'd prefer not to call it "Brotherhood of the Wolf". Dammit, I just did. I woke up too early, and truly, did not know what to do with myself. I have TOO many things I HAVE to do, too many more I want to. And all the things I have to do, can wait. So, it's hard to figure it out. For a bit, Norma and Gladys followed me as I wandered from room to room, and I could tell they just wanted me to settle down. Now that I'm here, typing, they can sleep. I got an email letter from my uncle in Italy. He told me he just turned 79 last month. I suck for not knowing and sending him a card. I'm going to look for a good "Belated Happy Birthday" card to send him. I tried to respond, via email, with a photo attached, of N and G, but his email address was no good. He wrote that he has major difficulties with computers......I tried his hotmail address, I hope he gets it. I'll send a card via snail mail too, to make up for it. Dammit, he sent me a Christmas card too, and I never even responded. I suck! I hope we stay in touch for the rest of his life. He's my last relative, besides my brother and some assorted cousins I've only met a time or two. I feel like I'd like to be there for him if he needs someone, someone besides his own kids. "Kids"? They're in their 50s! Ah well, I'm glad I found a few new diaries to read. Many thanks to Bathsheba for her recommendations...excellent choices! And to anyone new who's chosen to add me to her/his favorites list...it's very flattering. And fills me with a sense of humility and appreciation. Thank you. One more thing, for now, did you see the Gala Exhibition of Figure Skating last night??? It was SO good! That Alexei what's his name was amazing!!!! Wow!!! No wonder he beat Timothy Goebel, who is very good also, but holy moly! And that Gold Medal Russian Pairs team........they were SO much better than the Canadians....makes me think maybe the Canadians shouldn't have been awarded the Gold after all......and Sarah Hughes? Good, good, Sasha Cohen, yeah, it was really entertaining. Michelle Kwan crying....I really hope it wasn't because she didn't win Gold, the big baby. I'm sad it's all over after tomorrow. The Winter Olympics. And tomorrow???? Guess who's performing at the Closing Ceremony??? Guess!!!!!!!!! MOBY!!!. I can't wait. (Ever since I saw "Amelie" for the third time a week ago I find myself humming the theme song from it, I think it's used in the closing shot - it's beautiful, in a minor key, and it just keeps popping in my head, sort of stuck on "heavy rotation". I think I'm going to buy the soundtrack. And, by the way, I have a temptation to go see it again. Yes, I thought it was THAT good. When "Queen Margot" first came out, I saw it in the theatre maybe 4 times, then I bought it on video and watched it a couple more times. Some movies are that good. Why waste time seeing something that sucks? Oh......."You Only Live Twice" is on tonight. James Bond undercover as Japanese man. Too good! Great poisoning scene...watch it!!!!!!!) Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)
Recent Entries: It Was 40 Years Ago Today - 9:44 a.m. , Friday, Oct. 12, 2012 Dead Black Cat - 9:07 a.m. , Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012 As Seen From Outer Space - 1:07 a.m. , Saturday, Dec. 05, 2009 I Survived to Tell the Tale - 7:29 a.m. , Friday, Sept. 18, 2009 Reading My Life - 12:55 p.m. , Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009 
  |