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2001-06-28 / 9:25 p.m. ~Disclaimer~
I do care what people think, whether I want to or not, and I'd prefer not to, I'd prefer to be one of those people who just does not care, but I do, I do care. Lest anyone think I am racist, let me say this, I recognize the outstanding differences between the different peoples of this planet, they are hard to overlook, they are, well, outstanding. They stand out. Get it? I know I am white, I know I have really white skin, but remarkably it does tan easily, especially my left arm, as it is the one part of my body most likely to be stuck in the direct path of the sun's rays. Driving. Steering wheel, you know. But, and this is one of those big buts, no joke implied, I am no racist, I do not believe the world would be a better place if we all looked like Dolph Lundgren. Or Adolph Hitler, God no! He wasn't too good looking, was he? But, he had a dream, misguided fuck he was. Here's the thing, I am the only white person where I work, especially since the cute as a button I. left. Damn, I miss her. She was cute, young, smart, didn't bother trying to remove the hair above her lip, or shave her legs! She was so cool, um, is so cool, and well, she is Asian, Philippina. Is that right? As opposed to Phillippino. Right? I didn't think of her as Asian until she said she is. I said, oh yeah? The Phillippines (am I even spelling it right?) are in Asia? Tells you how good I am at world geography. Let's make that "Local" Geography for $200, Alex. Yeah, I'm white, I'm as white as can be, I'm European American, and I look like I'm from Italy, or Mexico, or Spain, or some such shit, people always say. Where are you from? Um, I'm American. Shut up. Leave me alone. No, really, where are you FROM? Okay, look, as I found out, rather late in my life, my father was a Jew, okay? Are you happy now? I'm half Jewish, does that paint a clearer picture for you? But hey, I'm agnostic, not that there's anything wrong with being Jewish, like maybe that's why Pop denounced his religion, his entire family, and became Unitarian. What do you think? And where I live? I'm one of very few white people living here, in the 'hood, as I like to refer to it. Why the 'hood? Because the people throw their trash on the ground, leave their garbage outside their doors, sometimes for too long, the young boys walk around with picks sticking out of their hair, and scowl at me. Yes, scowl. They don't say hello, even if I do. I'm white. I'm not sorry, I didn't ask to be born, okay? I'm the result of my mom trying to figure out the rhythm method, okay? I wasn't "planned", okay? Yeah, my mother's "people", long ago, were slave owners. Believe it. Is it my fault? No. Am I sorry that slavery existed? Of course. Duh. Am I sorry Hitler engaged the systematic destruction of 6 million Jews? Uh, yeah. And Gypsies, and Gays, hell, kill 'em all!! It sucks. People are weird. But you know what? I have like three Aretha CDs and two James Brown CDs and part of me thinks I should've been born black. Some of my favorite food is country fried steak (not too big on chicken, I know that rules me out), collard greens, cornbread and grits. Yeah, "Soul Food". My mom's best friend was Marilyn Allen, who later changed her name to Mwezi, Swahili for something. We used to go to Mwezi's house, watch her plait her niece's hair, and I never wanted to leave. I wanted to live with them, wear my hair in cornrows, change my name to something in Swahili. Yet now, these days, I am alone, I am the oppressed, for no reason. I've exhibited no ill will toward anyone, but I am walking in the shoes of the racially profiled, having to prove myself almost daily. No, I am not a racist, do I prejudge? Yeah. Yeah, 9 out of 10 people in my office do eat chicken every day, do live for watermelon in summer, and do say "Girl!!!" far too often. And I know gay men who adore Madonna. And you can pinpoint some stereotype about me too, g'head. Don't mind. Just didn't want anyone to think I was being rude in my previous entry. The strawberry air freshener kills me, it stinks up the whole stairwell, breezeway, whatever it is. Bad. My downstairs neighbor fries chicken every weekend, maybe every day, and the woman across the stairs too, the one with the man who is sometimes there, the one who looks the other way when he sees me. It's not me. I'll rap with MC Solaar (wait, he's Algerian, does that count?), I know all the words to almost all of James Brown's songs. I can sing "Chain, Chain, Chain" 'til I'm blue in the face (and why the hell does she stay a linK???? she needs some R-E-S-P-E-C-T). Look, so I'm a white person who thinks she can hold her own amongst the sistas 'cause she knows some Ebonics and listens to Soul and eats Soul and used to want cornrows. Still, I know who I am, I know I'm eccentric as hell, not to mention delightfully neurotic and possess wildly eccentric tastes in all things, but this is my motto to live by, okay?:::::: VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE I'm thrilled we're all here. Let me be me, you be you, and let's learn from each other, okay? Damn, what's wrong with me? I can't stop writing.......... Cost of the War in Iraq
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