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2001-06-30 / 1:33 p.m. ~We're going digital~
Spending time reading my own diary, and actually liking it. But, I've done this before, and I don't want to do it now. I love to look back, that's why I keep diaries, that's why I've written since I was 10, that's why it's all so unbelievably well documented. I love to look back. But not now. I just get so caught up in other people's lives, other people's diaries, and start to question my own, forget what I'm doing, forget why, so I go back, read it again, and it's exactly what I wanted, exactly what I meant to say, it's my life, now, nothing more. I think it's good. I'm waiting on the Cable Guy or Cable Gal. Four hours. Four hours of "He/She could be here any second!". Don't want to be caught with the pants down. Already had the morning constitutional, and a quick bath, already slept for hours and hours, waking to strange dream memories, too many, too much sleep, the kind of sleep that hurts my hip joints after awhile. Old mattress, very old, springs sort of popping up through the padding, too much time sleeping on my sides actually starts to hurt, the hip bones in contact with the jutting springs. Buy a new mattress? Uh, sure, how do you do that? Which one do you buy? Who's gonna bring it in this apartment, this obstacle course of arranged furniture? I'm not grown up enough to buy a bed. I'm ready. Okay, any time now. My converter boxes will be obsolete after today, supposedly, and the woman on the phone said I really should buy cable ready TVs, and I said, Huh? There's nothing wrong with the TVs I have. The one in the living room my mom bought for my grandmother, back in '78 or so. It's good, has a good picture, good color, it's 19 inches or something. It's starting to show wavy lines every so often, but I think it's the cable, right? Buy a new TV? Buy a new bed? Can't I just go live in a cave? The TV in the bedroom was my father's. Most of what I own I inherited. This was a TV my brother and I bought for our father, for his birthday, or Christmas or Father's Day, one of those, and my brother gave it to me for some such occasion, as if he purchased it as a gift specifically for me. Bastard. I said, That's the TV we bought for Pop. We inherit everything of his equally, right down the middle, so you've had it all this time, you're giving it to me now? I paid for half of it in the first place! But that's beside the point. It goes green every so often, and I just sit and wait for it to come back to normal. Okay, maybe I should buy a new TV. Something "cable ready" so I don't have to rent two digital receivers. And I don't even know what "digital" cable is. I have never been ready to accept adult responsibilities. Four hours. Could be here any minute. Bringing me "digital receivers" to replace my converter boxes. New remotes. I don't care, I just want to be able to watch "Iron Chef", and CNN Headline News, and stupid movies on Lifetime, Television for Women, on weekends. Oh, and "Real World", etc., etc., etc. Cable TV, internet access, it should all come standard in every home, paid for with our tax dollars. A government subsidy of sorts. Right? Four hours and I'll be digital. Could be here now.....could be here in four hours. A guy. A gal. A stranger, in my living room, and my bedroom too. This is a great day. Maybe I'll go back and read more of my journal/diary. Especially because the diaries I like so much are not being updated..... Cost of the War in Iraq
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