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Saturday, Feb. 14, 2004 / 8:40 p.m. ~Just Cozy and Good, and My Anti-Marriage Opinion~ I'm rolling the taste of Thai Spring Onion Rice Noodle Bowl around my mouth, sort of using my tongue to clean my teeth, feeling a bit of burn from the chili oil entering my stomach. I am no longer hungry, this is now evident. In order to hang with my new friend last night I had to stay up all night - she has a different schedule, dances to a different rhythm, and while this could be disconcerting, could be something I would not choose to do, I went with it. It's only been twice now I've seen her, twice now we've done this, the staying up all night, talking, drinking, or her drinking, me watching, and both times me watching her online behavior. It's fascinating. Hard to look away. And even though I went to bed around 8:30 this morning and slept until around 4:30 this afternoon, I feel fine. Normal even. I don't feel sick any longer, and I'm accomplishing at least one thing, laundry, so this is all good so far. I wrote just a bit of what I feel about marriage, and gay marriage, or not really the latter, but mostly the former, in my other journal, so I think I'll cross post here. And then? Strong taste of dried onions in my mouth. Cat meowing at me, talking to me, telling me something, and I choose to ignore because I know what it is. "Guiding Light"s on tape, soon, we hope, as I'm two weeks behind. And many, many weeks behind in the Entertainment Weeklys too, still. This coming week I pull receptionist duty again, after years of being absolved, sitting one hour at the end of the day - perfect time to catch up on the EWs! Good movies on Sundance tonight, but in the midst of eating and laundry couldn't quite give "City of Lost Children" the attention I want to give it, so I will see it at a later date. Following that is "Intimacy", which should be interesting. I'm a bit tired, but very relaxed, very cozy here, inside. It poured rain last night, for hours, and today is not much better, I can hear wet tires on slick pavement, and it's still in the 40s, so this is good, time to just relax, indoors, cozy and warm, with cats, with TV, with computer (I defragged, which is always good). I don't know, but I'm introspective, thinking about last night, and everything, the people in my life now, and who they are, and what they mean to me, and me, and me, and me. It's a 'me' day too. And sleeping was delicious. I intend to do more later. It just feels so good, did I make that clear? Herewith, the cross post: I don't think marriage is love. I'm seeing these rainbow bars online here, and those words, "Marriage is love", but I disagree. I do believe every human being should be afforded the same rights. I do believe in human rights, civil rights, under the law, but, I think marriage has a long and checkered history. Women have been second class citizens throughout history. We bleed monthly, which makes us anathema to society during that time. In some cultures women are banned from the society during their menses. We bear the young and must be by their sides to raise them. Therefore, we have always been more useful to each other, to raise the young in groups, and gather the food nearby whilst we wear our young on our backs. Then men can move about freely, hunt the large animals, bring home the meat. The protein necessary for muscle production, to keep the tribe strong. Oh, wait, we're not a tribe? We're not still animals? Men are more valuable, they can move the plows, they can take care of the animals, they are bigger, stronger, they can hunt, they are not incapacitated by childbirth, by monthly menstruation. For a woman to join another tribe, another family, she must be offered with a dowry, a selection of enticing valuables to go along with her, to make acquiring her seem like an actual good idea. And she should be young, have wide hips for successful childbearing, she should be a virgin with a tight vagina to please her man. And, in some cultures, that vagina is sewn a little tighter after each successive birth. Her clitoris may even be removed because it is evil and has no purpose. In the marriage ceremony the woman should wear white, to symbolize her chastity. She should wear a veil to cover her face, lifted by her husband, or is it her father, as he is 'giving her away'? The man then has ownership. The woman takes the man's name. She loses her own identity and exists to serve him, to bear his young, and to raise them, to prepare the food for this new family. More recently, they file taxes together, they have certain legal benefits, financial, but they are a unit, often they join to become one. Two standing beside one another, as one. ONE. Marriage is outdated, misogynistic, of interest historically, and the 'vows' are wholly unrealistic. At least one of every two couples who get married realize they can't possibly forsake all others for their rest of their lives, nor do they actually intend to stay married until one or the other dies. Marriage is not love. Marriage is a legal agreement that is meant to be broken. And often is. Marriage is a tie that binds. Love is not binding, love is freely given and accepted. That said, anyone who wants to engage in the act, who wants to bind with another, legally, for whatever reason, should have that right. Regardless of age, sex, creed, religion, sexual orientation, gender or body modification, who the hell cares? You want to do it? Do it. But to say it's love? It's a legal and binding agreement. And the ceremony and concept overall has a long history, misogynistic in its origins. My opinion. Cost of the War in Iraq
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