Tuesday, Apr. 20, 2004 / 10:22 p.m.

~When We Talk, We TALK! - We Know the Fine Art of Conversation~

Second day in a row of the 8 to 5 thing. And the leaving at 5 is dreamy. The getting up at 6:30 hasn't been hard either, yet. Today I woke before the alarm, dreaming of the asshole, big mistake, and my subconscious mind has been severely chastised for it.

Groggily got up thinking of him, and us, and then putting it all behind me, as there never was an 'us'. Bad, bad dream juju.

Finding things to do at work before the work arrives around 10 is not easy, and accounting for it, for my 'report', accounting for the not doing anything, is not easy. So it's a mix of easy and not easy, nice and dreamy, and not so hard, and real hard. And there is balance, I think.

I took computer grammar usage courses today, and this was a challenge. On account of I thought I was so very fucking smart with the words stuff. Nope. I learned it long ago, passed the tests with flying colors, had it all down, memorized even, but I let it all go, made up my own style, wrote with ballpoint pens, printed when they said to write in cursive.

And now I start sentences with conjunctions, if it's what I feel like, and I write long run-on sentences, and sometimes I hyphenate, and sometimes I do not, and sometimes, when I do, I even do so correctly. In the long run, no, it's not a business letter, dammit, and I'll write however I want.

But today there was nothing to do after lunch and I got paid to sit and learn, and I took notes, so we'll see how it goes. Tomorrow I continue with sentence structure. Dependent clauses, anyone? Not since 6th grade, or was it 5th? I'm picturing 6th, and an overhead projector. Good god, I am old.

So I called Hermione Out West, first thing after work, and feeding cats, of course, and we talked for one hour and forty-five whole minutes, never a dull moment. I heard about the birth, and the baby, and the breast milk (there are two separate glands, each producing something delightfully necessary yet different), and she heard about my job, and job codes, and such, and data entry, and we talked Bush, and Cheney, and Powell, and TV, and what's good to watch, and what is not, and the fact that shedding in dogs and cats begins when the daylight increases, as the days grow long.

And really, right now I can't begin to remember all of it, but hockey was in there somewhere too.

And it felt so good to talk to her. I miss her, and I wish I could hold the baby, less than one week old now.

I finished the Hot and Sour Soup at lunch, and it was sooooooo good. I should make it again soon. And (seeing how many sentences I can begin with 'and') I ate an apple, smoked Gouda and cheddar popcorn for dinner, and did another load of laundry, and watched "Gilmore Girls" (Kucinich AND Howard Dean jokes!!! I know, Howard who?), and "24" (oooh, the virus is spreading all the hell over, good, good, highly implausible storyline stuff!, not to mention zilch for continuity), and now I'm writing this, after writing that, and I'm tired, can you tell?

Wish me no dreams, wish my subconscious goes to sleep when I do, and that I wake again before my alarm, and that I keep up with this having way too much time in the morning before I leave for work - what is that about anyway? And wish that tomorrow is not too horrible, as Wednesdays are my personal busy days in my cubicle. Busiest. I foresee no time for computerized English classes.

PMS is moving along swimmingly - I've chalked up last week's oversleeping and being really upset about it to not only Mercury Retrograde, but to the pre melee syndrome. Pre melifluous? Pre monocle?

My nails grow too fast. I wish I could cut them and they'd stop right there. Why do they keep growing?

Ramble, ramble, ramble, time for bed, at only 10:30. Crrrrazy.

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