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Sunday, Feb. 22, 2004 / 9:57 p.m. ~Entertained By the Little Things~ It's not been an active weekend, but in the realm of all that is my life, it has been an ideal weekend. No place to be, no need to get in my car and drive, no need to scrounge for food, no desire to talk to anyone, just lounging, sleeping, eating, goofing around online, and watching "Guiding Light"s on tape, two week's worth. Two nights sleeping on the sofa, leaving lights on, TV on, not 'washing up', no chores performed, total and utter decadence. Feeling sleepy? Close your eyes, it's okay, fall asleep. Hungry? There's a fridge filled with food. Don't feel like taking a shower? Don't! Who cares? It's a beautiful day, want to get out in it? Amongst all those other people thinking the exact same thing? Hell no, stay here, look out the window, I can see the blue sky, the green of the pines, I can see the kids playing basketball in the parking lot, I'm sure it's a day, I can see it. I washed dishes, and I cooked. And I ate. And I slept, early, hours I slept, I could not stay awake, but it really didn't matter. I typically squeeze enough hours out of every single day. It was time to sleep those same hours, to dream, to cozy up with cats on a cramped sofa, three of us together, knees bent, waking with sore joints, fine, good, it didn't matter, nothing mattered. And today I roasted vegetables, asparagus, peppers, mushrooms, and I ate all of it. And I ate leftover pasta with red onions, goat cheese, bacon, thyme and garlic, and I added extra bacon, and though I skimmed so much from the bowl, I have so much more. Note to self, never cook an entire pound of fusilli, for myself only, ever, ever again. It's good. My mouth is filled with garlic, again. I could live in this permanent state. Garlic, flannel pants, TV, computer, cats, food, food, food. I walk in my kitchen now and I see counters and a stove, I've washed it all, all that covered the surfaces previously. I just need to clean deeper and harder and it will sparkle and shine. It's conducive to cooking, to teaching cooking, I could instruct, I could hold classes there, I could talk to friends whilst cooking, they with glasses of wine in their hands. We could sit to eat, once I dust the dining room, at the actual table, not on the sofa with bowls in our hands. This is a phase, a most welcome phase. And soon had better be the 'I can't stop cleaning' phase. I wait for that phase. Moon in Aries now, no excuses. My belly is so full. I watched the new Millionaire show, watched the first contestant win $500,000, and it was good. I have a "Bachelorette: The Men Tell All" show to watch, on tape, and one more "GL" and I am through with the TV, but I can't say how much I've enjoyed it. Sitting in my living room, living in my living room and kitchen, for two straight days. Coming in here, of course, the library, where the cockroach crawled over my mouse hand, and soon after met his/her death. This room, with the computer, the lifeline, the connection with my 'Interweb friends', fine, good, but to leave this, to walk away and sit and do something different, even just watching a larger screen, not making events happen on it, just watching, idly, sitting, sleeping, eating, sleeping, it sounds so lazy, so wasteful, but it was exactly what I needed. Like a vacation from the real world. I don't want to go back to work, I don't ever want to go back. I have yet to check the lottery numbers from Friday, but I heard someone in Virginia won the big jackpot. Doesn't mean I didn't win the smaller one, but I'd rather not know, and think I won, than find out I didn't. Now? I shall watch Meredith and her bachelor men, watch her confront them, or rather them confront her, and my soap opera, the one I've watched for over 25 years, yes, 25 years!, and I shall be happy, sated, satisifed, well fed, content, and not wonder that it's really the little things that do this for me. Taking care of myself, entertaining myself, by myself, it's truly joyous. Cost of the War in Iraq
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