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Tuesday, Jun. 21, 2005 / 1:53 a.m. ~And a Happy Summer Solstice Too~ Hey, maybe I should get that last entry off the index page, yeah? Sure. Okay, an update for the couple of people who seem to want to know, all anxiously clicking to see if I've updated yet and such, you know who you are (thanks for your interest, really)... The weather was quite summery, but it's cooled the past few days, enabling me to turn off the a/c and put the fan in the window, where it is now. Nice, but I hear it's going to get hot again. Inevitable, as this is now officially SUMMER. Happy Summer Solstice to everyone. I went out on Saturday night, took myself for a fabulous dinner, got so full I thought I'd burst wide open, then melted into a British film at the indie theatre, and then took a short walk to look at the moon and enjoy the fine weather, and then to my favorite underground club for a beer and dancing. I was too full, had little energy, but it was good, and I slept horribly, woke up too early, played online, then went back to bed, and now I'm in the midst of a crazy stay up all night and sleep all day schedule, which is my preference. Ahhhh, being unemployed is quite nice. It won't last, but I think I wanted to drag it out at least as long as this week, for my cousin arrives from across the pond on Thursday, and she is spending the night HERE! Egad. I've only just begun to clean, and so far I've only dusted and polished my desk, which was important, as it's the first thing people see when I drag them into my bedroom for a look at where the cats and I sleep, and where I feed the cats. I turn on the lamp there, and the desk has been covered with years' worth of dust, no kidding, so now it sparkles and shines, and all my gemstones are so pretty, all my memorabilia so shiny and nice. I sat there earlier to write in my paper journal, and I only wished I could take pictures. I need a digital camera. I wish for one. One day. And a scanner to scan a lot of old prints I have. I need to clean the bathroom, and the common areas, especially the living room and dining room, and the kitchen doesn't need much, I seldom clean the gewgaws there, just wash the dishes and it looks fabulous. The new fluorescents are pinkish, so it's extra bright and nice in there lately. The pain in the back of my left shoulder, that cropped up some time after I got laid off? It's very much worse. I woke up with a lot of pain there yesterday, and blamed it on dancing, not that I busted a move or anything, but something must have happened. I don't sleep on the sofa too much anymore, so I doubt it's the bed, and of course I think it's a cancerous tumor, but I think every pain is a cancerous tumor. I saw an interesting documentary on Sundance tonight, "Monster Road", about an eccentric animator living in Seattle, a guy who created funky little animated short films (with clay figures, mostly) for Frank Zappa long ago. The guy is one of those nutjob geniuses who are endlessly fascinating. His father suffers from even more severe eccentricity and Alzheimer's, posts little signs all around his house, my favorite being this one: There are two terrible things about life: So true. As Buddhists know, life is suffering, and if you can accept that, you can live a rather joyous life. Or something. Tonight I ordered Chinese food delivered to my door, as I still need to go grocery shopping, and I still do not want to go grocery shopping, for various reasons. The food was exceptionally good, and I partook whilst watching my favorite new TV show, "Who Gets the Dog?" - tonight it was a Shih Tzu named Napoleon, and he got a good home, I think. I hope he will be happy. Oh yes, the cats are fine, very happy with our new routine. I seldom leave the apartment, and they adore that. We're getting along well, everyone seems happy and healthy, except for me with my pain in my left shoulder - it especially hurts when I turn my head... like... this... Ow. See? I think I have skin cancer too, on my back. Years of lying in the sun as a teen, thinking it would make me more attractive. And speaking of that, I not only cleaned my desk's surface last night, and all the baubles upon it, but I emptied out some of the drawers, threw away a lot of old paper that I decided I no longer needed to save, and amongst the papers were some old journals filled with really angsty embarassing lovesick rantings of mine, and a letter from my ex, from thirteen years ago, which hurt to re-read, and yet I still save it, and some photos of us together. One in which I looked particularly fetching. See, if I had a scanner, I'd scan it and post it right here... But no. Still, I can't believe that was me, and did I look so good because I was with him? Did he make me happy? I seem to have made him miserable, and I realize I should seriously never be with another man for the rest of my life. And I mean 'be with' in every sense of that phrase, except maybe this weekend at Gay Pride. Gay men, okay, straight men, no way. Hey, that could be my new slogan! I love it! Gay Men, Okay, Straight Men, No Way! Nah, I am terrible at love. I suck at love. I blame it on astrology. Mix Venus in Aries, with Sun in Aries, with Mars in Cancer, with Moon in Sagittarius and Taurus Rising, and, well, you see what I mean. Hah! And there are other planets involved, truly, no lie. That's about it, really. I have to do the rest of the cleaning, the bathroom and living room/dining room, did I mention dining room?, and do some shopping, stock up a bit in case the cousin wants to eat here, or have breakfast in the morning or something (I have no idea what she eats and drinks!, she's like a stranger, really), and I should make sure I apply for a couple jobs this week too, to satisfy the dept of labor, and that's that. Pride on the weekend, maybe another movie, on account of because I love the movies, and all is well, really. I mean really. I could think of better things than this, like being at a summer house on a lake or something, or having millions of dollars and not a care in the world, but for what my life is, now, it's better than it was, I'm happy on my own, and I hope I stay this way, only a bit better. Cost of the War in Iraq
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