Tuesday, Dec. 28, 2004 / 6:06 p.m. ~Bad, Bad Timing~ How easily I sink, how easily there can never be an extension of anything positive and good, but for every slight up there is an even farther down. I have to throw my head back and laugh there, amidst the tears, for this is my life, this is what it is, this is no surprise, nothing is ever as it should be, just as it is, and little control is ever had, and how is it tears keep ending up on my keyboard? I waited so long for this, and when it came I missed it. I have to laugh at that again, and who wouldn't? Who wouldn't find that funny? Who wouldn't become hysterical at the intense irony of this situation? She waits, sometimes by the phone, sometimes checking it to be sure it's working, sometimes sending emails, sometimes just sending vibes, as if thinking about him will be enough. And when he finally feels some moment of forgetfulness, some moment of wanting to put the past behind him, and he reaches for her, she is not there, and she is so frustrated at her efforts believed gone unnoticed she writes angrily this time, expresses her frustration, and like something out of a play, there they are, missing their communication, simultaneously missing, and the one open and ready, for a change, while she's turned to anger, again. He resents her for her anger and she was angry at him for ignoring her, so even now their signals are crossed and there is no understanding, and if there could just be face to face anything, none of this would exist, it would all melt, she feels certain. Who needs 'third person'? I'm so tired of this, I'm so tired of being dismissed. I feel like a petulant child, and being treated like one doesn't help at all. I think there is more soul emptying crying to be done, and then perhaps a hot bath. Cost of the War in Iraq (JavaScript Error) To see more details, click here. Previous - Next New - 2012 - 2009 - 2008 - 2007 - 2006 - 2005 - 2004 - 2003 - 2002 - 2001 - Profile - Contact - Notes - Rings - Diaryland - Favourite Entries - ReadMe - Surveys - Random Entry Recent Entries: It Was 40 Years Ago Today - 9:44 a.m. , Friday, Oct. 12, 2012 Dead Black Cat - 9:07 a.m. , Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012 As Seen From Outer Space - 1:07 a.m. , Saturday, Dec. 05, 2009 I Survived to Tell the Tale - 7:29 a.m. , Friday, Sept. 18, 2009 Reading My Life - 12:55 p.m. , Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009 My Diary Was Reviewed at Ms Lovejoy's - Get Yours Reviewed Too!