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2001-07-20 / 6:45 p.m. ~Bygones~
I think one of my favorite Aries characteristics, and thus one of my characteristics, is the ability to move forward. We forgive, in a way, we don't forget a slight, a hurt, but we don't hang on to it too tightly. I can think I'm never going to talk to someone again one day.....and the next I realize that it is I who must grow, it is I who must be bigger than that person, it is I who must move on, accept that which I cannot change, simply keep going. So it was that A. and I had a great day today, and I let L. be the way she is. I know she's a stubborn Taurus, like a bull, in appearance and character, and there is no budging a bull. Leave her to be, that's all I can do. She doesn't know she hurt me, she doesn't know I would prefer to educate her as to insults about skin color, to educate her as to the effects of the sun on anyone's skin, but I won't tell her either, not now. No, I left her, and her abrasive cubicle neighbor Karen to themselves, and like a little clique of our own A. and I talked about oral sex and crazy telephone calls and anything else which popped into our heads, like a couple of girls at a slumber party, or maybe good friends out drinking in a pub. We shared, we laughed, we didn't answer our phones when they rang, and said, "Oops" afterward. It was a fun day, she and me. I've always liked her, since she first started as a temp. She's young, she's beautiful, she's open, she's approachable, and she's educated. Her mind is ripe for input, she is ready for information, in fact she is headed back to college this next semester. I know she'll go far, I do. She is intelligent. A. loves to write and to read, she likes the things I show her to read, the books I lend her. Her boyfriend gives her flowers, a lot. She is loved, she is loveable, this is a good thing. Oh, she has her moods, don't get me all wrong, of course she has pissed me off royally before, but we got past it almost immediately, she wouldn't let anything come between us. Wow. Someone didn't want something to come between us.....that made me feel so good. I guess she's not just a co-worker, though I've not really "hung out" with her, but she feels like a "friend", sort of. On that note, my good friend, my "best" friend, H., called me at work, and it was SO good to talk to her! To tell her about the "need some sun" comment, and she immediately understood, she has tattoos too, she has light skin too, she has "Goth" friends who also have light skin, purposeful light skin, pallid almost, and tattoos. She thinks like I do, we've known each other for almost 10 years, she's the person I'm closest too.......it was SO good to be able to talk to her again (she's been out of town for 3 weeks). All is good, aside from intense cramps and heavy bleeding, the usual pain of menstruation, but that is okay too, now. I released my frustration, I had human contact, I connected, on some level, with two different people, and I have resolved to let L. be L., nothing I can do. I won't shun her, but I know I don't really "like" her, I can't really "like" someone who has no respect for others. But, as the kids say, "it's all good". Cost of the War in Iraq
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