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Friday, Apr. 12, 2002 / 11:44 a.m. ~Boston Rob and Me: Just Don�t Lie to Me, Man!~ So Bobby Burgess is an Aries. Isn�t that cool? Who the hell am I talking to? Now that I know, I can say, Yeah, it figures he�s an Aries. Sure. I feel scattered, like a Bobby Burgess diary entry. Right now, it�s 9:29 a.m., we can�t stop talking about the Big Game, the jackpot up to some $220 million. It�s worth talking about. Last night my home PC freaked out. In fact, it may still be freaked out. For an Interweb junkie like myself, this was horrible, really bad. And I�m paranoid, I have a conspiracy theory already. I added some new diaries to my favorites list, one of which is not completely visible in my antiquated version of Netscape, ye olde 4.5, and I was told by someone else how I really need to upgrade, get with the program, etc. Then I get this totally fucked up email from someone claiming to be a soldier from Sierra Leone, and I�m going to paste it here, so everyone can see how fucked up it is, and I�m convinced the thing contained some Trojan Horse kind of virus that caused my Netscape to crash over and over, or it�s really my ISP, and they are fucked, but won�t admit it. Of course I called the tech support line, immediately, but the number wasn�t on my bill, I had to get it from customer service, but the guy gave me the number for "fast access" and I don�t have fast access, so a guy there gave me the right number, and I get this total fucking idiot who ends up telling me I have a corrupt Windows system file and I need to reinstall Windows. And this is after he lets slip that he�s had several calls from people complaining that they also cannot access the Interweb. Oh, but there�s no reason for it, no �outages�, he says. He gets me to find the file, the all important file (that someone told him to mention if he�s ever in a bind on the phone with a customer, no doubt), and look at the "modify" date, and I tell him it�s in March of �98, because that�s when my brother installed Windows 95 on my PC, but he says it needs to have a date stamp from �97 or �95, and he�s talking out his ass, making it up as he goes along, and I really prefer it when people admit to ignorance instead of bullshitting, but what was I going to do? So I say, "And you�re saying it has nothing to do with you, with the big company providing my Interweb service?", and he says yes. Stupid fucker. For your information, later in the evening I had access, I knew it was your fault, not my PC. Don�t tell me that I have full access at lunch, and not at dinner, because of a corrupt Windows file. Grrrr� Typing this is tedious as hell, and Listerine has begun her humming and I�d like it if she disappeared. Right, so to make this long story longer, for future reference, in case I ever need to look back, you never know, I defragged, I re-booted, over and over, and then I decided to download a newer version of Netscape, the 4.79 version, and voila, I had access to the site, I did, I didn�t, I did, I didn�t, I was persistent. I cleaned up my hard drive, transferred oodles of porn photos to floppy disks. Yes, when I first achieved Interweb access I searched for "free porn" (Googlers, go for it!) and found a great site that had, maybe still has, 20 free, FREE, and high quality, porn photos every day. Bookmark it! Come back tomorrow! Cum back tomorrow! Cum now! And I did, bookmark it, come back, go back, again and again. It was addictive. The "models" were attractive, they were really engaged in acts of heterosexual intercourse, it was very exciting, I saved all the images I really liked, and there were many, to my hard drive. I gave them clever names, like "red nail polish", or "trees in background", or "leopard nails", and I�m not looking at the titles right now, I�m at work, duh, this is from my memory which is harder to access with Listerine�s incessant humming and mumbling right in the cubicle behind me� I remember Steve bragging that his hard drive�s porn file was many megs larger than mine. And we sent each other photos by email, the ones we liked best. It�s never good to do that, men have such different tastes you know. So I downloaded a newer Netscape, ye olde 4.79, and it took hours and I left the room, and when it was over and I returned, there was a message telling me I was low on disk space and the "install" may not operate correctly, did I want to continue?, "okay", I said, and I can�t find the thing anywhere on my PC. All those hours, for naught. I gave up, it was late. Yes, I know Diaryland was down, I know Andrew had a worse night than I, but still, I think what pisses me off more than anything is that clearly my ISP was having problems and the fucker on the phone wouldn�t come clean, instead of admitting it, or admitting his own ignorance, he bullshitted instead. Hell, I could�ve been out buying a new Windows CD on his advice! Good thing I�m not a total idiot. Whew! Of course the above incident reminds me that as much as I love computers, and a good challenge, I hate the tedium of troubleshooting. It�s a love/hate thing. Yes, I want to just go out and purchase a new PC, pay it off in a few installments on the card, but I know that adds extra money that only goes straight to the man, and I don�t want that, and I have no idea how to transfer my voluminous saved email files to a new OS. I�m lost. I need a course, a course of study. So, besides all that crap, last night�s highlight was watching Kathy sit down to eat pizza and drink copious amounts of "COORS LIGHT" with the "Young Buck", Boston Rob on "Survivor � Marquesas". HILL ARIOUS! And I could relate! I don�t know if we are the same age, she looks, "old", and I don�t, I really don�t, but yeah, Rob�s got these lips, man, and these teeth straight out of a toothpaste ad, and this smile, and these eyes with these long eyelashes, and this really cool accent, and he admits that he�s a bullshitter, which is really an admirable quality, I think, and yeah, he�s lost his paunch now that�s he�s been subsisting on the occasional coconut and mango, and sure, who wouldn�t want to fuck him! "Young buck"! I love it! Go, Kathy! But, dammit, now that Gabe and Rob are gone, the eye candy factor is slim to none. Sean is okay, but he�s such a dick I can�t get past it. Guess I�d better work now. I�m not going to worry about my home PC until I go home at lunch, no point �til then, but I�ll be worrying then as I log on, oh yeah. Cost of the War in Iraq
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