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Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2004 / 11:00 p.m. ~I'm a Sucker For Romance~ I was giggling and squealing, shrugging up my shoulders, grinning from ear to ear, and it was so intimate, it was so private, but it was like they didn't know cameras were all around, like they didn't know I was sitting on my sofa with the cats and a cup of vanilla red tea, watching, so happy for them. Not envious at all, no jealousy here, just so so so so so happy for them. It's so sweet, they're so nice, and she seems to love him, he seems to love her, they are so passionate, they have this fire between them, they complement each other so perfectly. It seems. I love the way he moans when he kisses her. The way he touches her hair, her face, the way he holds her head, moves it around as if he just can't believe it's connected to her body, that she's one complete person, and that she's right there in front of him, that he met her, that they can be together. It's just a moment, it was only weeks, it's just a TV show, it might not even be real, but these can't be actors, this has to be real, and this is so perfect. They edited it so well, it was so suspenseful, and she said so many times that the other one was the one she 'always dreamed of', the one she'd 'been waiting for' her whole life, over and over again, and maybe she only said it once, but they made it seem like millions of times, and the poor man, the poor boy, heartbroken. He said it all, he let his guard down, he let her in, he gave her everything he had to give, in these short weeks, in this unreal situation, he was falling in love, he wanted to make babies with her, live with her, forever, go grocery shopping, go to movies, ride around in his truck... But she's not that type, she wants adventure, she wants to learn Portuguese, she wants to learn to wind surf, she wants the one with the tousled blond hair, the one who is naturally lean and muscular, not the one who works out, the one who can take her around the world, not the one who can take her for a ride in his truck. She wants more than a couple Labrador Retrievers and a pickup truck, a movie on Friday night, with the most warm and caring man, who is stable, repeat, stable, no, repeat, stable, stable, stable, who wants stable? Adventure, passion, excitement, butterflies, as he says and how did he say it, "Will we make it?", "Do you think we can make it?", "Will you?", "YES!!!" She didn't even look at the ring, except to straighten her finger for him. She said she didn't care if it had been a toy ring, she didn't care about the ring, she just wanted him, she said she couldn't see herself without him. Isn't that moment, not filing taxes together, or getting the kids off to school, or figuring out whose turn it is to take out the trash, although those moments have their merit... NOT, isn't that moment, isn't that what we/I long for? And for all the "I'm so scared"s, and the "This is so scary"s, it's the best feeling in the whole world. It's better than sex, because sex is next, and that's the best sex. And it's better than white chocolate macadamia nut cookies (I just ate three), and it's better than garlic stuffed olives, and Nick Drake albums, and anything you can imagine. Loving someone and being loved right back, and being that terrified of what happens next. That beginning, like that first kiss. "The Bachelorette - Meredith and Ian edition", there will never be a better moment in the history of 'reality' television. Ugh, it was so so so good. I would've bet she'd choose Matthew, but I wanted her to choose dreamy Ian, and she chose dreamy Ian, and I feel so schoolgirlish, but it was just perfect, it really was. (Coming up next, we shall consider the debriefing poor Matthew must now go through, the heartbreak he must endure, the pain he suffers, and wonder "Will he ever let his guard down again? Will there ever be another Meredith in his life? Can he love again? Can he be... the next "The Bachelor""? I've struck gold!) Cost of the War in Iraq
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