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2001-09-24 / 10:34 p.m. ~Grass Roots, and a crazy day at the office!~ Maybe I should start this off with a gentle reminder, to anyone new, to anyone who happens by, to anyone who may have forgotten, yes, this is public, yes, this is accessible to anyone with some time on her/his hands, but all in all, as in mostly, as in let's not forget, ever, okay?, this is my personal diary. Read it, if you like, I like to read other people's diaries, maybe you'll like to read mine, but try not to forget that this is all about me. It's mine, my life, my words, my thoughts, my little essays. Me. I'm not here to educate or proselytize, though it may surely seem like it from time to time, but I am here to write, because I feel I have to write, and writing is therapeutic for me, and I am heavily neurotic about documenting my life. That said, I am a human being existing outside this sphere, and anyone wanting to engage me in healthy debate on the issues I present here is more than welcome, well, to a point, to write to me, and that is why I have a link to my email addy right here on this page. It says "Contact" over there on the right side of the page, near the top - click on that word and you can send me an email and we can chat. Some people already do just that, and I respond, or I write to them first and they respond, in kind. It's simple really, it's called written communication. Moving right along...oh, that was just a note to whomever, no one terribly in particular, but yes, maybe someone in particular - why am I hedging? Look, if you have questions, pose them in a forum in which I can respond, okay? Okay. I got home a little while ago, some time after 10:00 p.m., from a meeting of the ______Coalition For Peace, and yes, we just chose that name officially (edited due to a Google hit - 10/28). It was a very grass roots kind of meeting, lots of deciding on things, lots of figuring out of things, not really what I expected, not really, but very, very interesting nonetheless. So many young and intelligent people, most very articulate, very left wing, very liberal, very outspoken, but not much in agreement. No, lots of, "But maybe we could....." and "Well, what if we did this instead.....?" and "I think if we do this......", but it was constructive as well. I am sorry that after almost three hours I got a big fat headache and started thinking about how I hadn't eaten dinner and how I hardly got any sleep last night at all, and well, really I want to focus my attention on going to Washington, not just here, downtown......so, I casually got up and left. On my way home I was thinking that I've never really been a part of anything like this, a coalition forming from the bottom up, choosing a name, choosing a mission statement, talking of lobbying, and college campuses, and who can get us some flyers, etc. Never. The long term relationship lived with a roommate for quite some time, a guy who claimed he was bisexual, but later I ran into him in Kroger and he said, "Hey, how are you?" and when I said, "Fine, how are you?", he said, "I'M GAY NOW!", and I never forgot it. It was so funny and sweet. He was thrilled to be out. But, he was into Refuse and Resist, always handing me flyers, always trying to get me and the long term relationship to man tables at protests, etc. It was with him that we went to the pro-choice rally downtown (I have a picture of me at that rally - me in my tie dye tank top, underarm hair just peeking out, one of those Arab head things tied around my head.......crazy). But yeah, he was a real crusader, an activist, a real one, not just playing one on TV, like me. He made flyers, he went to meetings, he tried to formulate ideas for future events, etc., and is probably still doing it, now. I don't know, we've lost touch. Last I saw him he was handing out flyers with his boyfriend, downtown, during the Olympics.... So this was new to me tonight, taking turns talking, raising our hands and waiting to be recognized, someone taking "minutes" on his laptop. These incredibly intelligent and forward thinking idealists. Wow. And then there was the European looking dude......okaaaaaaay....no, I did not get involved in this to meet men, but jesus god, he was very interesting. Didn't say a word, but was very attentive, had on these cloglike Birks, and there was this little symbol tattoo on his ankle, I have no clue what it was, several little symbols together in a row. And a pierced bottom lip (okay, that's weird, to me, but still...) and an earring in one ear, and when he turned his head I saw gray hairs in the back (like me! although mine are showing up all over lately, long white hairs....), skinny legs, jeans, charcoal gray sweater, long fingers, little goatee, really little, hairy arms when the sleeves were pushed up, yeah, I looked, yeah, I couldn't help it, I wasn't there to pick anybody up, I swear, but when he scribbled down the email addy of the woman who is organizing the vans for the D.C. march I almost peed my pants! So he wants to go to Washington, skip the small shit, get right to the top, the seat of power for this country, yeah baby. More news on him as it develops. As far as I know he doesn't even speak English, but there is no telling. Oh, and our group was very diverse, Arab, Indian, African American, geek, Emo, college professor, old guy with beard, lesbian, middle aged female activist (Refuse and Resist), Communist, socialist, man, woman, young, old, really intriguing........pimply and well-meaning. I liked it. I'll never forget the rift between myself and my brother and sister in law when I decided to protest the U.S.'s involvement in the NATO bombing of Yugoslavia. Oh, how we argued, how they belittled me, and my brother called me a "joiner" when I told him I'd be going to protest. Me, a "joiner". How wrong you are, how little you know me, how you never knew me, did you? I never liked you for long, you never respected me. I can not be a joiner. I do not prefer the group dynamic, I am a one on one kind of woman, always have been. So, I don't know how far I'll go with this Coalition, how much I'll offer to do, but I support them, and I hope they make a dent in the public consciousness on the local level. They are local and they will stay that way. They are at the very beginning, and I was there, and I may be there for them again, but I am going to D.C. Work - today we put our cubicles back together, logged back in and on, put up our decorations we'd taken down, ignored the new carpeting, just tried to be normal. A new virus protecting software, and a hard time logging into our network, people sharing PCs, trying to function amidst a sea of paperwork and a plethora of phone calls. It was not an easy swim, but we did it. A really hard day, and I could seriously use a shoulder rub, a deep massage, well, more than that really, but there's no one here but me and a couple of cats, so I'll dream on with that idea. Oh, speaking of, I am really getting into the computer dude at work - if one were so inclined one could go back and read through this diary to find where I've spoken of him before....and felt conflicted, but now, well, I feel a little something when I see him now. And I'm not sure why. Maybe I sense he's cynical and bitter with a hint of obscene optimism, like myself. Maybe in a way I find him attractive, maybe I like flirting with him. Hmmmmm...... Let's sum it up, shall we? A crazy busy day at work, followed by a grass roots organizing meeting of a new coalition for peace, followed by a huge headache and a big bowl of food (affectionately known as "slop" - take meat, in this case Italian sausage, brown, add lots of chopped garlic, mix with whatever you have, frozen veggies, or fresh, in this case, limas and corn, and a starch, in this case, macaroni noodles, and a can or two of "cream of" something, in this case, cream of mushroom and cream of chicken, and a touch of liquid of choice, in this case, water from macaroni and heating veggies, add seasoning, in this case.....oregano, basil and pepper, heat... and enjoy - "slop"). I'm behind on news reports, but to anyone who wants to know, to anyone who's read this far, I won't create links, way too much trouble at 11:00 on a weeknight after the day I've had, but here are some good web sites with links to alternative press reports, and some mainstream, but LINKS, good stuff, so you can learn what the TV won't tell you: antiwar.com, protest.net, and pax.protest.net, iacenter.org (international action center), indymedia.org, drudgereport.com (TONS of links to news wires, columnists, major publications and some foreign and independent), internationalanswer.org (this one went up so fast it made my head spin!!! oh, tonight, at the meeting, I suggested a web site and was all but pooh poohed, why???), warresisters.org, refuseandresist.org, nonviolence.org. There is a lot out there, too much for me to condense it and put it into my own words. It was enough for me to form my own very strong opinions after having a similar reaction as many people in this country: My country's government will handle this and do the right and just thing. Initial reaction, lasting maybe a few hours, or less. Now I know we are planning to drop bombs on Afghanistan, and maybe surrounding countries, most likely Iraq, and Iran, and god knows where else. This is wrong, as I am morally opposed to war as concept, and dropping bombs, in particular. The end, for now. I'm exhausted. Cost of the War in Iraq
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