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Saturday, Mar. 06, 2004 / 10:51 p.m. ~Another Up and Down Sort of Day~ I just saw one of the best search hits to my diary yet. And I'd write it here now, but then I'd get more, and I am trying to avoid the drop-ins. Suffice to say it involved photos, of women, and their clothing. No, that makes no sense. It made me smile though, so thanks to the weirdo who was online looking and ended up here instead. You're a freak. Ho hum, another day of highs and lows. High = finding out my rent is not only not going to increase upon lease renewal, but it will decrease some $70 per month for the next year. Low = the painter's reaction when I told him. It's not healthy to abstain from expressing happiness for another's good fortune in favor of feeling envy and anger at said good fortune, envy upon wanting it for one's self, and anger at the not having it. High = taking my recyclables to the recycling center, loving being there, in the sun, the wind, watching the people out of the corner of my eye, happy we were all sorting and emptying our vehicles of all the glass and plastic and paper we've been piling up in our homes for months now. High = the beautiful day, the happy people all out enjoying it, driving in it, walking in it, bicycling in it, just being in it, in it. Low = finding out the painter wanted to clean his loft instead of seeing me, meeting me in person for the first time, choosing free wine at some gallery opening over me buying him a glass at the bar of my favorite little bistro. Seeing a movie with me, being with me. He chose cleaning. High = the ego boost the man at the bar gave me when he told me no one really 'needs' healthcare coverage until one is in one's forties anyway, and the look on his face, the way he nearly dropped his beer on the floor when I nudged him and said, with total and utter glee, "I AM in my forties!!". Thank you, man at the bar. Michael. Thank you so much. You made my day. It wasn't that dark in there either, even though they turned the lights down whilst we were chatting, in prep for a busy Saturday night. You looked right in my eyes and you had no idea. I love that. High = watching the pretty naked youth in "The Dreamers", at the 'art cinema'. Seeing penises and labia on screen, on the big screen, Bertolucci style, this was lovely. Not the best movie I've seen, not even close, but it was entertaining, and nudity, especially young, pretty people nude, is nice. Needed more story, but it was nice. (could've used a script revision or fifty) High = the full moon, and that refracted rainbow on the clouds below it, the lamp outside being out, so all is dark and lovely but for the brightness of this moon. Low = the headache I've had all day. The acetamin-resistant headache. And the way I feel right now. The anger I've felt at the painter, the things I'm telling myself in my head, and my fragile ego, the way I let far too many things 'get to me'. High = allowing myself to get past it, over it and around it and move on. Making things better, in spite of it all, and hopefully finding something good and fulfilling, at least. And, having my cotton jersey sheets on my bed, all nice and clean, for rolling around in later. Cost of the War in Iraq
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