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Sunday, May. 02, 2004 / 4:34 p.m. ~Me, the Social Butterfly... Online~ Ah yes, moving right along. A new day has dawned, in fact it's been dawned for a while now, and I am feeling much better. Still spending most of my time online, but I'm meeting new people, being social, finding support where I need it, and this is all a very good thing. I had plans to go to a movie with a woman from my job, but, second weekend in a row now, she canceled. She has problems at home, to say the least, and I've only overheard what the problems are, but I know she is desperate for friendship and companionship right now, and she cried on the phone when she told me it's not like her to cancel and to please forgive her, etc. I feel so badly for her, but truthfully, with my swollen eyes from last night, and my overall need to just be alone right now, I was glad she canceled. I was prepared to go to a movie, just wear my glasses and hope she'd not notice, but this is better for me. Strangely enough, I don't have a lot on my mind, it feels fairly emptied out! I guess this means I have plenty of room to absorb more. I really have enjoyed being online this weekend, I even created a new profile, at MySpace.com, which is just like Friendster, except it has more features and runs faster. And thank god I've not done any online shopping, but I did order two new CDs last weekend, so they should be here soon. I think I ordered David Bowie's latest album and Soul Coughing's "El Oso", yes, that's right. It's most fun if you order things and then forget about it later. Big surprise when the mail comes. I love getting mail. And especially packages. Which reminds me, Jon was going to send me a print of one of his cloud paintings, but I wonder if he ever will. We'll let it be a surprise either way. I haven't written about him here, maybe because I, however foolishly, gave him the url and I don't want to get into it, but I am happy I 'met' him and I have him for a pen pal. I love his letters. I have so much to do that I'm neglecting, things I've been neglecting for weeks, just basic and simple things, just maintenance around the apartment, and cleaning, and organizing, that sort of thing, and reading, I have so much reading to do. I find that I do all my reading here now, online, many journals and diaries and news articles. I never want to sit with paper anymore. And my best excuse is I have no comfortable place in which to sit and read, with good light to illuminate the pages. This must be a lie I tell myself. Used to be I did my reading at work, whole novels, the free weekly, my Entertainment Weekly, but the new job in the other department does not allow for reading, at all. This has been very difficult for me, but makes much sense. Soon. I have this hopeful feeling that soon I will do all I want/need to do. And this must be how it is I take comfort in my continued procrastination. It's the eternal optimist in me that says, It will be done, all that needs to be shall be. And we shall see. Another Sunday, another last day of freedom, another day in which I say, Do I have to go back to work? Work is so hard, I want to bang on the drum all day, at least. I still have my biggest dream, of one day being a wealthy, eccentric philanthropist. I know it's my destiny, so how long must I wait? Cost of the War in Iraq
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