|
Tuesday, Nov. 02, 2004 / 5:56 p.m. ~It's All Still Extra Super Fresh, You Know~ Oh dear, I am so affected by Jonathan Cainer's horoscopes (see link toward bottom of this page), and this one is not necessarily good at all. How can he fluctuate so? Is it really in the heavens above, or is he totally fabricating this nonsense? Our friends rarely teach us as much as our enemies. Our admirers challenge us far less than our critics. Our easy days deprive us of the opportunities to evolve. There. Have I convinced you yet? I thought not. I suppose I could try harder. But on balance, I think I shall just commiserate with you. You are up against something phenomenally frustrating. Like a fly caught in a web, the more you struggle the worse it gets. Think philosophical thoughts. And trust. By the weekend, all will seem much better. No, Jon, NO! I'm through, I've had enough. I had a fight with the new boyfriend and wrote about it in my journal, which is normal and good and fine, a great release, healthy and all that, but of course he read it, and I thought he might, but I didn't write it for him, I wrote it for me, as it is all about ME!, after all. Don't ever forget that. Journals, diaries, sure, there are people reading, I've spoken to some of you, but I forget you're there when I'm on a roll. Ah, so he freaked out, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, because he had no idea how I really felt, which should have been obvious to me, but we were just learning each other, and then he decides he'll 'break up' with me, via his journal, you know, a "Dear Jill", it's been fun, but you know, Goodbye, sort of thing. And of course, any woman in the throes of the insanity known as PMS would totally flip at that (or even anyone not in the throes of anything at all, on account of because it's fucking rude as all get out!), and I did, unederstandably, and it all played out, with his two best friends jumping in to attack me as best they could, which wasn't very well done at all, and is quite funny in retrospect, but since he couldn't manage on his own, yes, this is the case. Last night I got scared, for myself, for my car, and moved the car away from the building in case he (or his bully friend) came after me, because he is a bit of a dominant personality, and nothing happened, but a horoscope like this doesn't make me at all comfortable. Funny thing is that he wrote of being scared of me, in his journal. Me? Have you seen me? I stand 5'5" in bare feet, or less as I am shrinking (help, I'm shrinking!), and weigh 110 on a good day, a whole lot less on bad. Like when I forget to eat, or can't stand the thought of food, like yesterday. Oooooh, I'm skeery! Puhleeze. I'm just a girl. Well, no, I'm woman, hear me roar and all that, but him? Scared of me? How utterly absurd. What could I possibly do to hurt him? Call him a fuckhead, again? Ow! Stop! You're hurting me! What happened to 'sticks and stones...'???? Today, for the briefest time, I forgot all of yesterday and the day before, and Friday night when it all started, and I missed him. Insane, I know. But we were just getting started, only a few times together, but talking on the phone every single day, multiple times per day, online chats and journal comments exchanged. He freaked me out as much as he intrigued me, and I did really want to know him and see what we could be together. I know it's way over now, and I was horribly mean, in my journal, but we know how journals can be, certain people reading them, the however 'semi'-public nature of them, etc., and it hurts when we're wearing the dirty laundry being aired. Been there. Done that. Felt the pain, have I. Oh, seriously. In other news... assuming no one is coming after me to kill me or hurt me, or my cats or car, today is the Big Day, and all day long people at work talked about their voting rights, and how much time they could take off to vote, and when they'd go vote, and wore their stickers indicating they had indeed voted, and etc., and I could only say, "Yep, did it last week - advance voting and such", and felt a little left out. I don't miss the hassle, the line, I stood for two hours Thursday night, and it was fun even, but I paid my voting dues. Now, the wait. With Jon Stewart on TV, Dan Rather later, I hope, and some leftover casserole (you have no idea how hard it is for a little person like me to eat an entire casserole by herself - it takes days!), and maybe some Merlot. I think wine would be nice, since I've not drunk any in ages (my last bottle is white, still open after months, literally, in the fridge waiting for me to pour it down the drain - sad indeed). Oh, according to 'him', the boy, all women over 40 are alcoholics. Great guy, I know. I don't know if I wanted to change him, or just convince him that I'm so not like anyone he's ever met, nor ever will meet, and that I am amazing and wonderful. I think he really did like me and want a relationship with me. And I him, in spite of it all. Whoops, wrong topic, that will keep happening, no doubt, for the next couple of weeks, less and less as time goes by, but yes. It's extra super fresh right now. Still in the antibacterial ointment stage (ya know?, open wound and all that?, must I spell these things out?). Oh, wow, speaking of, I gave him the coolest Pirate skull and crossbones bandages, and I just know he's thrown them out by now, or is mailing them back to me. I picture him being really petty about all this. I'm going to order some more for me, to keep, and if he mails his back to me I'll just give them away. Bad juju, very bad. (yeah, dammit, we were happy there for a week or so, no, a few weeks, we were really working on something nice) Oh, yes, and it's super humid. The a/c won't come on too often as it's not terribly warm, so I have windows open instead, but I'm really sick of the humidity. Maybe I do belong in New Mexico after all???? That was always my destination. I wonder if I'll make it happen... "Go west, young woman". Okay, TV, food, wine, Jon Stewart, Dan, here goes! May the best (*cough*, John Kerry) man win! Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)
Recent Entries: It Was 40 Years Ago Today - 9:44 a.m. , Friday, Oct. 12, 2012 Dead Black Cat - 9:07 a.m. , Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012 As Seen From Outer Space - 1:07 a.m. , Saturday, Dec. 05, 2009 I Survived to Tell the Tale - 7:29 a.m. , Friday, Sept. 18, 2009 Reading My Life - 12:55 p.m. , Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009 
  |