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Tuesday, Jun. 08, 2004 / 11:42 p.m. ~Gentle Meanderings~ Ah yes, the familiar empty box that is the 'add an entry' for Diaryland. I feel I should clear my throat, spray some spritzer in there too, or maybe just stretch out my fingers all Ed Norton-like, keep stretching, and stretching, and flexing until someone, some Ralphie says, "Norton!!". Mundane: Or not: "Queer Eye..." was good, but the irony is getting to me, finally. The gay men helping straight men with their love lives, often with their 'wives', knowing in most states, what, 50 at least?, gays cannot marry. I love Thom's designs though. I think I'd like him to come here and help me out, but I'd be afraid of what he'd discard. I want to keep it. Most of it. All of it? Semi-new potential 'friend' at work, and this is exciting and has me backing up at the same time. She's too generous. What does this mean? She lent me a book and I was thanking her when she said, "No, it's yours, I gave it to you, keep it!", and I said, "Why?". Clearly I'm unaccustomed to the kindnessess of strangers. I want to know her, but I'm afraid of her ulterior motives. I'm afraid of her deceptions, her motives, or lack thereof. She says I should just cook dinner for her. It's a cookbook, cook her dinner from the cookbook. I said I have to clean first. She'll wait. Does she know how long it's been since anyone, but maintenance, has been in here? Do I? I wonder if I won the lottery. I felt I had to tonight. I felt this was the night. I felt a transit for Venus, an auspicious and momentous astrological and astronomical occurrence happening once every so real long time would mean great things. I talked of it, I told my supervisor I'd quit if I got $175,000.00. She didn't think that was enough, but I said I could drag it out over four years at least. Then what?, she wanted to know. Then what?, so what? Four years, man, I know what can happen in four years. I'm afraid to call to get the numbers. I want to hold on to this anticipation, this dream. I'd be the best wealthy, eccentric philanthropist ever, right in a line with Ted Turner. We could lunch, he and I, compare notes. Choose worthy organizations together. I feel something is pending, but no, there's nothing. Just waiting to see when it's going to break, when the plates shift and the tectonic tects. Crack, change, shift, move ahead. Just waiting. The Stanley Cup is so damned shiny and pretty. I want to hoist it myself. I want to drink from its cup. I bought fresh fruit and some veggies tonight, with coworker, and for dinner I finished off my giant bag of Lay's potato chips. And I had a nectarine. Maybe eating lunch at 2:00 is not such a good idea? Hard to be hungry later. But I have food, and I look forward to combining it in interesting ways, to eat, later, tomorrow, and etc. Now? Sleep. Tomorrow's my busy day at work, my Wednesday, my 'heavy day', and every time I say that I think of menstruating, my 'heavy day' when I need a 'super' tampon. Did you see that part where they were playing with the straight guy's wife's tampon? Very funny. That and the "Hava Nagila" singing. I laughed out loud. LOL, for you kids. Go to Google.com, now! If you can read this, go, now, look, it's Venus! Cost of the War in Iraq
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