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Thursday, Jan. 06, 2005 / 10:30 p.m. ~Really Boring, Yet Obligatory~ Hey, hey, hey now, that's funny, I was just logging off, telling myself how bored I am with the Interweb this evening, and then I remembered I forgot to update here. Yes, yes, again it feels like a habit I'd rather not break. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or bad, or neither. But there we have it. I am exhausted. Like woozy exhuasted, like my neck hurts, and I'd swear I've had a headache for at least three days in a row, and I'm amazed I can look at a computer screen at this point, that my eyes haven't squinted themselves shut with all the looking I've done today. Auditing and etc. Piles of paperwork, just awash in it. And difficult people, or maybe just one, the work supervisor - I walk away from her and say aloud, more often than not, "Fucking bitch, what the fuck is her problem? Why is she so fucking nasty?", and that's not nice. It occurred to me today that she may actually have heard me, or someone else may have, but I'm occasionally reduced to talking to myself dans le cube. Ugh. I'd prefer not to think about any of it, so no recaps, other than the above. Cats are circling, it's feeding time. I'm watching my soap opera on tape, and it's really good lately, just entertaining and escapist, and what more could one ask for? Also, for a few days at least, I'm eating really well. That pasta last night was SO good, and there was one bowl leftover for tonight. I made another big salad too, with tofu and assorted good raw veggies, and I'm going to drink some carrot/tropical fruit juice to swallow my vitamins, so there is some nutrition getting in, and this is good. And, another also here, it rained today, but not hard enough for the sunroof to leak, which is good. Having a car that rains inside is never a good thing. I keep fantasizing about winning the lottery, one of those 'If I win the lottery, the first I'll do is...' sort of fantasies. First thing, I go to a car dealership, Toyota, get a Prius, or a Matrix, not sure which yet, and then I buy that bungalow of my dreams, intown, something all renovated, and I want new furniture. I hate that all the crap I have is inherited, and not good inherited, just crap. My parents' bed, and do you know how old that means it is? Not antique old, not good old, but old old, and way past its prime. And my dresser is from a bedroom suite that was purchased for my sister, and we know how long ago that was. It's childish and cheaply made, and why do I have it? And the desk I no longer ever use? My mother's from when she was a kid. Matching chest of drawers. Really heavy solid wood. but ugly. I don't usually lust for new furniture, but every now and then I just wish I could start fresh, with my own things, of my own choosing. Not sure how I got off on that tangent, but it was on my mind, the creative visualization, what I'll do WHEN I win the lottery. Car, house, furniture, get rid of old crap, quit the job, of course, and begin to live again. Ahhhh, it's a nice fantasy. Oh, of course I'd donate, donate, donate, I'd be a philanthropist extraordinaire, as it is my dream, my biggest dream, to be the wealthy eccentric philanthropist I've always longed to be. I have the eccentric part down pat, it's the wealth I need to make the philanthropy part happen. I'm a dreamer. Tomorrow? Friday, a lottery ticket or two, more tedium at work, and I should get to bed soon so I can feel not quite so tired for it all. Cost of the War in Iraq
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