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2001-08-02 / 1:23 p.m. ~Just another day in hell~ First thing this morning, Linda says, "Good morning Joleen", which is unusual, not just because Joleen is not my real name (okay, she used my real name), but because she never says that. Then, she proceeds to tell me how she went to our Manager (M) about the humming thing, and M. told her to hum more. I repeat this to her, "M. told you to hum MORE?" and she says yeah. I almost RUN to M.'s office, and once there I ask, "Do you just really want me to be unhappy?", which later I thought probably was not a good way to start a dialogue. I say Linda told me she asked to move cubicles, I've asked to move cubicles, especially after the "incident", in which the lovely Linda left those purty lynching photos on my desk and I freaked out, etc., etc., and yada yada too. We can't move cubicles, yeah, you, M., have said so. I don't know why. Linda says you, M., told her to hum more. Oh, she says she said "lower", not more, and I'm thinking, oh shit. Linda has a heavy Southern accent, maybe she said, "lower" and I thought she said, "moah". Damn. Luckily, M. is very even tempered, it's no big thang, she walks out and we get down and dirty. She goes right to Linda, we clarify, I repeat to them both that I tried to be nice, I really, really did, but I can't stand it, and Linda thinks it's irritating that she can not hum as she sees fit. It helps her get through the day. I try to start yet another analogy, to tell her that if she had to listen to my radio all day she would want to scream and kill people too, probably, but she is no longer regarding me at all, won't even make eye contact with me. Fucking freak. She's fucking evil, and everyone thinks she is SO nice, because she gives them stuff. Like I should think my Pop was a good father because when it came to birthdays and Christmas and shit he always gave me whatever I directly asked for, within reason, or a check? Um, people don't know what nice really is, what generosity really is, do they? What consideration is. No, people are so fucked up. I was telling Robert, on our little excursion recently, that I hate people, and he echoed the sentiment. We would be perfect together, I know, if only I found him the least bit attractive........ In other news (damn, I'm home for lunch, but I can't eat and type at the same time, and I am all fired up for some unknown reason!): Why are we all so gung ho excited about Serbs being prosecuted for genocide when the U.S. went in and bombed the whole place from the air? Know why? Because it's okay when WE kill people, when it's merely "collateral damage". Yeah, it's to be expected. Sure, we ruined the lives of many thousands who were spared their lives, and killed many others, but that's cool, it was all in the name of "justice". Government sanctioned murder, via war or public execution for sake of punishment, is still murder. Yeah, guess what, it's fucking genocide too! Gee, didn't think of that, did you, America? Ugh, makes me sick how we hold ourselves up as fucking holier than thou because we're the most powerful nation in the world. Like we have no one to answer to for our actions. Well, Clinton and Albright, et al committed war crimes just like Milosevic. Know it!!! Grrrrrrrrrr......I fucking marched on our Pentagon to protest that shit and it pisses me off to no end that the American people are not even being made aware of how ridiculous that whole "air campaign" really was, but now any time any one of THEM is held accountable we all stand up and cheer, in a "Get those genocidal bastards" kind of way. Hmmmm...in other news: I'm listening to my favorite tape in the Easy Bake car today - it has Nick Drake's "Pink Moon" on one side and Meshell Ndegeocello's "Bitter" on the other. "Bitter" is one of the most beautiful albums ever recorded. Seriously. But, be forewarned, it's Meshell being bitter. Oh yeah. It's all about pain and anger and regret and wistfulness. It is so beautiful......hard to be mad or anything else when I hear that coming through my speakers. And, in yet more other news: This is perhaps the mildest Summer I can remember. However, now that I've officially said so we will no doubt be hitting 100 degrees in the next few weeks! Really though, I don't think it's gotten above 90 all Summer, and today, August 2nd, midday, it's only around 83. Wow. Oh, we'll probably pay later. So, I finish my peanut butter and ginger preserves on whole wheat (ginger preserves rule!) and head back, "Bitter" on the way. Then the next tape will be Jeff Buckley, which I taped last night. I can't wait to hear him again, in the enclosed space of my vehicle. Maybe I'll drive to get Thai takeout tonight so I can immerse myself in him, and well, and get Thai takeout. Then it's back to cubicle wars. Linda talking to herself now, in place of humming. She is reading aloud, etc. I notice that L. has to always have food in her mouth (and she is really overweight - food as comfort?), and Linda has to always have her mouth moving, always be making vocal sounds. What is up with that? Do unto others. Golden Rule. Don't they teach that to Southern African Americans? None of them have yet to practice it, I've noticed. None that I have met. I'm anti-Southern anyway, coming from Northern Stock. I'm such an elitist snob! Tee heeeeee......... Cost of the War in Iraq
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