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2001-08-08 / 11:13 p.m. ~Later that day...~ I wasn't going to do this, write anything tonight, as it's been an awfully long day and I need to go to bed, and I really should watch part of "Guiding Light" on tape so I have room tomorrow to tape tomorrow's (I work off one tape, keeps it manageable), and, and, and...... Okay, I just need sleep, but I wanted to write here, a bit, just a bit. A. came over after work, her first time here. Oh, she's seen photos (yeah, I have a lot of photos of my apartment, my cats, etc., and I've taken them in to work before), but this was her first visit. And, I did clean, last night, a bit, not all the way, but that was okay, I guess. The dust is embarassing, but I can laugh at myself and my slovenliness. Anyway, I wanted to help her get her very own diaryland diary. And I did just that. And, (don't ever start a sentence with "and", or "but", it's very bad form) in the process I learned her diaryland name and she learned mine. I tried to be really good, turning my back and everything as she was choosing her name, diary name, but at some point, if I'm gonna sit here and add codes for a guestbook and a site meter, well, I'm gonna see it! I hated that, wanted, really wanted to give her total anonymity, from anyone she "knows", but it wasn't possible. We have a pinky promise, and I don't know if I remember exactly what it was promising, I think it's a promise not to look at each other's diaries unless we give each other permission. I'm pretty sure. I warned her all about mine, that she's all over it, everyone we work with is, and she'd better not tell anyone, etc., and told her the worst thing I wrote about her, the remark about her "Wannabe Caucasian braids". She seemed to take it well, but I'm still totally paranoid that everyone I know thinks I'm a horrible racist misanthrope. Well, I am a misanthrope, but I am not a racist, I don't have evidence that one race is superior to another, I just know I've been discriminated against, racially profiled, stereotyped and it's changed my normally open and very liberal attitudes towards all people. Especially African Americans. But, she knows this is MY diary, and these are MY opinions, and in the long run, "WhatTheFuckRULookinAt"?. Yeah, it's okay for me to express my deepest feelings, my insecurities, or anything else, frustrations, lust, whatever. Someone wrote a diary entry on here, diaryland, somewhere, do not possibly remember who or where, but she said she learned two things: One, do not give anyone you know your diaryland address. Two, do not give anyone you know your diaryland address. She is so wise. I may live to regret a lot of choices I make, but then again, no use crying over spilled milk. That's a good one. Do unto others. A place for everything and everything in its place. Variety is the spice of life. Oh, and don't count your chickens before they hatch. Aphorisms. Words to live by. There are surely more. I'm tired, the rest will wait, tomorrow is another day - Hey, that's another one! My favorite: Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? Cost of the War in Iraq
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