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Thursday, Apr. 17, 2003 / 11:01 a.m. ~A Busy Day Filled With Multi-Tasking~ Not talking to Jeff at work has afforded me so much time to catch up on my Entertainment Weekly subscription that now I�m on the current week. I�m trying really hard to just sit here and appreciate being paid an absurd amount of money to read. Add to this the fact that I worked at a bookstore for almost 4 years, during which time I was forbidden to read. I should be rejoicing. This is why it�s proving quite difficult to go looking for another job, one at which I might actually have to, you know, work. How is it that some people simply do not grasp the psychological manipulation that is the color coded Terror Alert System? Raise it to orange, tell people to stock up on plastic sheeting and duct tape, get major kickbacks from the manufacturers and home improvement/hardware stores (conspiracy-level conjecture, I know, but it�s fun), scare the public into supporting any attack on anyone who has dark skin and a funny accent, bomb the fuck out of said country filled with dark skinned people with funny accents, under the guise of �preemption�, no, wait, �disarming�, no, um, �liberation from brutal dictator�, just like we�re doing in Rwanda, no, that�s not right, but anyway, then once we obliterate said country, on account of we�ve obviously got more firepower, in fact they are no match at all, then show the photo ops incessantly on all forms of visual media, the statue toppling, the little boys kissing the stubbled faces of American soldiers (note, not �Coalition�, i.e. �British�), while taking careful consideration not to show the candy bars they are giving the little boys to cause said kisses on stubbled faces, and take the liberty of reducing the Terror Alert back to a pleasant shade of yellow, merely a cautionary color, nothing to be too worried about, pack up the duct tape and plastic sheets, and Wesson Oil, and handstraps, no, that�s not right� for later. Ahhhh� don�t we all feel safe and secure now? Today, in addition to moving on to the current issue of EW, I�m listening to my new CDs from Columbia House, ordered in an attempt to get them to go away and never come back (supposedly I�m under some sort of contractual agreement to purchase 2 more still!, so they say anyway�), Santana�s first album, and now Led Zeppelin�s �Houses of the Holy�. It�s making me feel good to know that I still enjoy the music I enjoyed at ages 10 and 15. I remember listening to my sister�s copy of �Santana� when we shared a room, and �Houses of the Holy� was the background to my drug addled high school days. Ah, youth. But both albums still seem fresh and innovative today. Go figure. On another subject altogether, I�m not one to stare at a wreck on the side of the road, I turn away as the EMTs load the victims on the stretchers, I am tempted to honk at the �looky Lous� who almost rear end the cars in front of them because they�re so busy staring (reminds me, this morning I dreamed my car was rear ended�), but I actually watched all two hours of �The Bachelor� last night, a horrible affront to my good sense and sensibility. What a setback to the feminist movement, what a backlash, what utter garbage, so bad I had to keep watching. Who would want to marry a young man whose greatest concern in a future mate is that she look just as good in a cocktail dress as she does in her jeans? Choices, choices, the woman who can throw a football like a man, sling sarcastic barbs and look great doing it all at the same time? Or the one who looks great in diamonds and kisses like a whore? This is going to be difficult. I think he should judge them on their dick sucking ability next. You know, maybe hold a fellatio competition, or a cheerleading competition at least. Thing is this, I really enjoyed watching the men compete for Trista on �The Bachelorette�, their fawning, their abject disappointment upon rejection during the demeaning and humiliating �Rose Ceremony�, their jealousy rearing its ugly head each time they knew that horrible trollop Trista was kissing, no, making out!, with another of their brood. Good, good stuff. But this other version? So bad I can�t look away. I have actual work to do now, unbelievable but true. I�m considering cutting my nails and filing them after that. And as soon as I finish my current EW (tomorrow I get a NEW issue!), I�m going to read an actual book. I have so many at home with bookmarks mocking me, reminding me of how I cannot seem to finish anything, but I�ll show them, I can do it, yes I can, I can read books, and magazines, and both at the same time, sitting in a cubicle, answering the phone if it rings. I am nothing if not a multi-tasker extraordinaire! Cost of the War in Iraq
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