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Tuesday, Aug. 05, 2003 / 11:08 a.m. ~Wishes Me the Best?~ In my entire life, in all my interactions with people, I have no recollection of being so wounded as I�ve been by people who don�t really know me at all, online. Since the beginnings, in chat rooms, on message boards, total assassinations of my character, total put downs, �flames�, horrible, horrible insults to my core. And I�m supposed to see it for what it is, people hiding behind nicknames, pseudonyms, monitors, people knowing they�d never be able to tell you to your face, but they can say what they will, online. No repercussions, no actual addresses known, no phone numbers exchanged, nor real names, no real faces, just words. This is the latest, supposed sympathy for what a fuckup I am, but it�s so very condescending, rude, scathing, the adjectives are many, but there is no point. Suffice to say that even in this writing, this woman is seen as �wise�, and �spiritual� and �wonderful� and �beautiful�, all the adjectives her sycophantic following use to describe her. And in that description, part of that is writing about people she doesn�t even know, as she has written about me. I didn�t mean to read it, I was reading her lover�s journal and he linked to her, so I thought I�d see what she�d written of their first meeting face to face after an Interweb courtship. Little did I expect to find that she�d left that entry, all about me, as her last public entry. Left for me to see, no doubt. The things people do to each other, and she wonders why I�m bitter, why I don�t let people in, maybe it�s because of her behavior, and the way she misinterpreted me. Maybe it was the scathing indictment of my character, the purposeful cutting to the bone. There is one person who is kind, and the rest are like this latest. This is why I retreat. This is the root of my misanthropy - people are evil, and they hide behind supposed caring and sympathy, they�re lauded for these attempts to �help� others by judging and criticizing. Maybe, just maybe, if we could realize that what�s written here, in diaries, in journals, in comments, in guestbooks, on message boards, is a small portion of the actual people writing it. That this is not all of me, and you don�t know me, anyone reading this. No one should bash someone else like that, especially in the guise of kindness. Cost of the War in Iraq
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