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2001-12-06 / 11:47 a.m. ~Silly Babs, We�re at WAR!~ (*Warning!!!!! More unpopular opinions ahead, I needed a place to vent and this is it. I�m warning you now, if you want to read this, this entry is filled with angry sarcasm, downright �unpatriotic� views, and you may think I deserve to be strung up by my toes for writing it, depending on who YOU are. If you think you�ll have a problem, please don�t read it, okay? This is the part of the diary that is really just for me, a place to work out my frustration, which is high right now�you�re welcome to peer inside, but if you disagree, well, you know I don�t want to know about it, right? You can write your own opinions in YOUR diary instead.) Last night on �20/20� one of Barbara Walters� famous �interviews� was featured�this time it was with our esteemed man of the hour, the honorable most powerful man in the world, the leader of the free and the spokeshead of the brave, the President of the United States of America�and the little woman, Laura. Amidst the Holiday grandeur that is the White House decorated, there they sat, the three; the camera crew and gawkers, Secret Service, producers, et. al., safely out of view, for an hour long highly edited interview, give or take 15 minutes for commercials, etc. I couldn�t stomach watching the whole thing, but I saw enough. I saw the best part, the part where Babs is asking why we can�t just settle all this nastiness diplomatically, through an International Court or Tribunal, why the fighting?, and Mr. Dubya says, beady little eyes all focused, sarcastic condescending crooked smile plastered to his face, uttering the same script, �Barbara, we�re at WAR! We�re under ATTACK!�, and this was too funny. I didn�t know we are under attack, my gosh, this is horrible! Hey, we should do something about that�we should bomb the whole rest of the world, because it could be ANYONE doing it, you know? Fucking terrorists, they�re everywhere!! Iraq, Iran, all those funny named countries with people who dress funny and speak in tongues and believe in some god with some funny name, not Jesus Christ, no, they believe in wearing towels on their heads and long robes, their skin is too dark too, we should bomb the FUCK out of them all! Yeah, I�m so glad our esteemed leader is on top of things. Whew! What a relief. Silly Babs, not realizing that we are at WAR � Babs, hun, leave the politics to the men, you know women have no place in International Policy. I can�t wait for the day people look back on this period of our history and tell the truth about what we�ve done, about the talking head that is George�s little boy. What a sick time for us. Give me Bill and Monica and cum-stained dresses any day! Yeah, we�re at WAR all right, we�re under ATTACK, those wacky Afghan rebels are flying over with their nukyuler weapons, those dangerous �weapons of mass destruction� in their B-52 bombers, every day, killing our citizens, and we need to fight back! Thank our Lord Jesus H. Christ we have Dubya and Laura in the highly decorated for the Holidays (no, YOU can�t go there to see it in person, too dangerous, we�re at WAR, silly!) White House. I feel safer already. Whoever coined that term originally, �weapons of mass destruction�, was brilliant! Brilliant! What better phrase to instill in the public�s mindset, to put fear in the hearts of millions?! Oh, not that WE, the grand ol� UsofA has �weapons of mass destruction�, only crazy leaders with dark skin and turbans have those, and they are so dangerous! We need to kill all those guys! No, no, no, we have a nuclear arsenal, not the same thing, not at all. Our nuclear arsenal is not to be confused with �weapons of mass destruction�. Don�t confuse yourself. We need to have the most weapons in the world, the best weapons, but they don�t kill people, no, they�re �smart� weapons, nice weapons, good weapons. I love my country. It�s beautiful, amber waves of grain, purple mountains� majesty, fruited plains, my own state has swamp land, ocean, forest, mountains, it�s beautiful, but my government sucks. I stood in line for 2 hours waiting to vote for Al Gore, and look what it got me. Oh, here�s something else I found very humorous, yes, in a sick way, in a �that is too funny!, you know, IRONIC funny� kind of way: There was another suicide bombing yesterday in Israel, and the guy only killed himself! Tee hee!!! Imagine, you strap all the shit to yourself and you�re a fucking dud, like a firecracker that won�t burst into a loud explosion, like when you look down at the cherry bomb to see why it�s not firing and you get your head blown off in the process. Thinking you�re dying a hero, thinking your eternal salvation is moments away, and you only blow up yourself. Sad, but funny. Damn, I need to go read The Onion. What have they been saying lately? They see the humor in all of this. Cost of the War in Iraq
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