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2001-11-17 / 5:46 p.m. ~The Delirious Ramblings of Someone Coming Down With a "Head Cold"~ Andrew is sick, and that's why he's not responding. Mmmm hmmmm. Yeah, well I'm sick too. Or about to be, or trying to be, or trying not to be, or something. Yes, it's more than just the air. The constant need to clear my throat, the pain in my neck, at the base of my skull, the headaches, the yellow hard snot coming from my right nostril when I blow my nose, the need to sleep until 4:30 this afternoon (!!!!!!), something is clearly wrong, and it seems trivial to say head cold, no, not head cold, something evil is trying to take hold of my body, and I won't let it! I'm going to have tea, some mango something or other zinger tea, in my Cheshire cat mug, the one where the cat disappears when you pour in hot liquid, only the smile remains until it cools. And later, after I have some Progresso Chicken Noodle Soup (3 cans for $5 at Publix - wait, is that right? is that good?) I'm going to double my Vitamin C. I'm going to take 2 grams instead of 1, and I'm going to take my echinacea twice today, not just once, I think. I can't let this evil take hold of me. "Just a cold"? Where do those words come from? The common cold is the worst affliction known to humankind. Why haven't we cured it yet? What is our problem? I was watching Doug Marlette and Carl Hiassen on C-Span booknotes, and I was wishing I had a group of writer friends with which I could associate. I was wishing I knew personally a good bunch of intellectuals, and we could sit around and be witty and erudite and charming, and piss each other off with our obscure knowledge on different subjects, then talk about writing and reading, and world events. Okay, I just went in to the kitchen to put honey in my tea, right? And why do I keep typing "team" instead of tea? And there was the honey bear, the plastic bear filled with honey that I got when I decided to become a vegetarian, back when I was 19, and I'm serious, I think that's how long I've had that thing, but I didn't recall setting it there, next to my Cheshire cat mug. I looked and stopped dead in my tracks. I didn't put that there! Wait a sec. I walked by it, saw it on the dining table, remarked to myself how the honey has hardened, it has been a while since I've put honey in anything, I will be using it for tea, tonight, but I don't recall picking it up and setting it next to my mug. I won't freak out. There is no ghost here, with me now, right? All's well? Right? I'm just coming down with something, fighting something off, "just a head cold", but it hurts, my throat is dry, and okay, so my mental faculties are suffering, but what are mental faculties anyway? Anyway? Thanks, Alison, now I know that that dialogue box people put in their diaries, the one you can only see on IE, like I see it sometimes when I look at diaries at work, is called a "sticky box". You are so smart, I mean it. I was watching "Screensavers" on TechTV last night, and I like to watch it sometimes when I am looking for something to watch on cable, and it's usually on when I'm looking, sort of the way "Emeril" is always on Food Network, or it seems to be, and they were using the new version of Windows, XT or something, and I was thinking, hey, why do they need to put out a new version every year? What's wrong with Windows '95? That's what I use. It works just fine, thank you. Sometimes I use the fast PC with internet access, at work, and it has Windows '98 on it, but so what? It doesn't seem better....just different. Why? Why? Why? Why can't Bill Gates put his money into research for a cure for the "just a head cold" common cold? Jeez. Do we really need a new Windows? And folks, I'm using this old dinosaur computer, and yeah, things take a while, but I'm using it, it's a 486 DX2, whatever that means, it's not even a brand, it's put together from parts, and I have a 19.2 FAX modem, which really sends and receives at 14.4, so why call it a 19.2, but I have speakers, so I can hear all the .wav files I've downloaded, and I have a LOT, and they're fun, like when Morticia Adams says, "Mail's in!" when I get an email notice from ICQ. And I keep ICQ running, just so I can know when I have email, and CallWave too....and I actually pay for CallWave now, so I can have the Caller ID feature. Like anyone ever calls me. Hah! And I downloaded a bunch of new photos from Webshots last night, for wallpaper, and I'll take some to work, because back when we had internet access at work, a couple years ago, I downloaded it on my PC, in fact, I put it on quite a few of my co-workers' PCs, until the supervisor, Michael, asked me what I was doing, and he thought I was doing something wrong, but I said, "What's the deal? My phone's on, I'm not getting any calls, I'm finished with my documents, you have a problem?", and he couldn't think of the problem. But anyway, this must be the coffee kicking in. I'm rambling, and my right nostril is running. And my tea is ready, and that thing with the honey bear was fucking weird! Walking in there and seeing it sitting on the counter, as if I'd put it there, but I have NO knowledge of putting it there. I must be delirious. Here's something else weird, and isn't everything weird, really?, but I recommended BellSouth internet service to someone, as I often do, mostly because they add the internet fee to your phone bill so you can just pay one bill, but this person, and I don't know who, actually signed up, and BellSouth gave me a credit, a free month of internet service. WOW! I just got my bill and there it is, the credit. BellSouth emailed me first, to let me know. "Someone" used me as a reference, or something, said I told them about it, yeah, "Joleen sent me", and they told me, but not who did it. Crazy, just crazy. Now I've got to know who. I'm going to ask around at work. Oh, here's something else, something which made me run from the computer into the kitchen when I heard the tea kettle trying to whistle earlier (it hasn't whistled in years, it malfunctions, but it makes a loud noise anyway), whoo hooing all the way, fists raised into the air, jubilant, I got email from the book club, the Quality Paperback Book Club (which everyone should join NOW, if you like to order books through the mail, if you like paperbacks, trade paperbacks, and you like to read weird shit, or just good shit, er, literature) about my email which I only sent last night, my email saying they overcharged me for my books I got last week, my wonderful wonderful books which I can't wait to really sit and read. They said, Yes, Joleen, you are right, we were wrong, we overcharged you. Tally Ho! Or cheerio, or something. Not really, but they were very nice. Wait, I have it, here is what "they" said: "Please accept our apology for the errors on your account. The proper adjustments have been made. We thank you for calling this to our attention." Isn't that sweet? "They" are so nice. Whew. I was all worried about it, thought they wouldn't believe me, stuff like that, but $49.72 vs. $66.20 is a big deal. I think. Yeah. Oh yeah. Delirious. I just sneezed one of those Omigod I have a head cold sneezes. Yuck. Hey, this tea is really good, and there's only a big smile on my mug. I recommend it. The tea. The mug. Honey. Kleenex tissues from a "Jazzy Santa" holiday box. All of it. I need to see if the SOA (School of the Americas) demonstration is going to be on the news. I am SO glad I didn't go. I would be feeling pretty miserable, I think, seeing as how I would've had to get up at 6:00 or something instead of 4:30 in the afternoon. Oh wow, I had some wild dreams, wild, I tell you, wild. One stands out, it was about this guy I used to work with, this guy who writes horror novels. Yes. I met him at the bookstore where I worked for 4 years, he came in to manage the fiction section, or was that later?, yes, later, he came in as a Customer Service person, then managed Fiction. Anyway, he was/is a writer, like professionally, sort of, and he got me to take his author photo for his newest book, at the time - my one claim to fame, I have a copy, I will show you the photo if you want to see it - paid me and everything. We had fun, going under the Arena and Congress Center downtown, down to the train hub, the old train switching station, and I got some shots of him looking particulary creepy in front of an old train engine. Well, he was always kinda creepy. So, I had this dream about him, that we were lovers, and he was mysterious and not really creepy, but quite the loner, and it was on account of him being a Scorpio, which he is, and I think I dreamed that because I was thinking about Rockstarkat and how she is a Scorpio and how she needs "me" time lately, how I read that last night in her diary, and thought, Hah, that is SO Scorpio of you to say that. Of course, I am Aries and I feel that way a lot....but well....it's Scorpio too, typically. Okay, I'm feeling woozy, flusy, and I'm going to sit down and drink my tea and watch news, and think how weird it is that I slept all day and it is dark already, and stuff like that. Wait, I need to sit down????? I AM sitting down! See? Delirious!!! I meant on the sofa, you know, comfy, not on this ladderback chair. And I need to stop typing. Because this is sort of manic, and it will hurt in time, if I don't stop. Yeah. Now I can be like Mr. Roadiepig and talk about how no one will read this because no one is online on Saturday night, but he is so wrong....you know that, I know that. See, I'm online, right now. Ugh, I'm outta here, for now. Can I put a smiley emoticon here? Would that be wrong? Am I the only one who actually likes emoticons? :) Wait, one more thing, I read in Moby's diary last night that he is "clueless and too shy" when it comes to female romantic advances to do anything about it. Isn't that cute? God, I want him! I want to marry him, I mean it. I want a permanent relationship with him, just him. I really feel he is the perfect man for me. But if he is too shy, and clueless, how do I go about getting him to realize that this is true?? Ugh, again, ugh. But: :) No, wait, this calls for a wink: ;) Moby, I love you! Really, I do. And that's not just the virus invading my body talking, no sir, it's YOU babe. It's all about YOU. I love your diary, love, it's the best, if I could link to it, I would, wait, I DID. Oh yeah, look over on the right of the page, up a bit, no, a bit more, see that black and white pic of Moby? Yeah, click on it, then on "Moby Updates", yeah, READ IT, it's SO good!!! Sigh.... I'm going to try to get out later, 4:00 a.m. or so, later, and drive to someplace dark so I can see the Leonid meteor shower, and I'll think of Moby watching too, out on his roof, in Manhattan, not seeing because of all the lights of the city, wishing we were out driving around together looking for a dark place. More than one "shooting star" a minute. Wow. I hope I really do it. Maybe I can just step outside to see. Maybe I can see from here. I don't want to go driving around at 4:00 in the morning..... Cost of the War in Iraq
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