|
Tuesday, Apr. 27, 2004 / 10:52 p.m. ~Disconnected Loss of Vim~ I never meant to take this long a break. In fact, this may be the longest I've ever gone without updating my diary. Simple fact is, I lost momentum. Once I stopped, I didn't want to start back. There is not much more to add to that, other than everything and anything. It just feels like I've lost my vim, my vigor, again. I suppose it happens periodically. It's a low, we all have them, and there's nothing terribly concrete that inspired it. I feel disconnected, separate, alone, distanced. I still observe, I pay attention, I absorb, but there's very little me right now. I'm just floating, going through motions. I watched the D.C. Rally on C-SPAN on Sunday. I went to work yesterday and today. The computer learning classes are hard and taxing, the actual work I do is challenging, tedious and tiring. Last night I had intense cramps in my feet, thankfully alternating. It felt like someone was hammering at my arches, cobbling me. And as soon as I write just these few events, or non-events, I think of that person's comment in the guestbook, the dig about what I write here, and I just want to turn this off. I'm disonnected here as well. I no longer feel any attachment to anyone or anything at Diaryland. Everyone I thought I'd developed some attachment to seems really far away, and that's not a call to reach, it's just fact. I don't know anyone here, I never did. I think I'm just sad. And I think every sentence could start with 'I' and have the words 'just' or 'simply' in it. Tomorrow's another day, I should get to bed. Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)
Recent Entries: It Was 40 Years Ago Today - 9:44 a.m. , Friday, Oct. 12, 2012 Dead Black Cat - 9:07 a.m. , Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012 As Seen From Outer Space - 1:07 a.m. , Saturday, Dec. 05, 2009 I Survived to Tell the Tale - 7:29 a.m. , Friday, Sept. 18, 2009 Reading My Life - 12:55 p.m. , Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009 
  |