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Thursday, Mar. 03, 2005 / 9:33 p.m. ~Really Boring Rambling About Nothing of Importance~ I'm not sure what precipitated this most recent development, but it would appear that I have some difficulty maintaining interest in television dramas, especially of the nighttime variety. Could it be the commercial breaks? Could it be the way I get up to check email on the commercials and I just never go back? Could be. But, whilst I was sitting, with cats around me, my girlfriends on me and next to me, I heard Grissom say that reading on a computer monitor requires one to lean in, and he likes to lean back. I can relate. But I read so much on the VDT, here and at work, I'm amazed I can still see at all. There is a commercial that makes me laugh out loud, before the incessant car commercials force me out of the room. It's for Budweiser Light beer - a reluctant skydiver is prodded to jump, a six pack of the brewsky tossed ahead of him in hopes he'll follow, but instead he simply stands, unable to leap to his uncertain future, and the pilot runs after the beer, no 'chute, just his headphones, mic attached I think. I've seen it a few times now and it still makes me laugh. Laughing is good. And speaking of, my laugh has really changed over the years. I remember as a kid, lying on my back with friends, trying that hearty laugh that only lying on one's back can elicit, and then making concerted efforts to further the change, trying to find 'my' laugh, and then ending up with more of a silent laugh, and now, now it's way from the diaphragm (spelling?), and loud, so loud I have to silence myself when at work. Not that I laugh a lot at work, but occasionally, yes, and these days we have auditors from the corporation, so we have to mind some Ps and some Qs too, or we're supposed to at least. Several years ago there was a woman working with us who affected a very peculiar and piercing melodic scale of a laugh, one that carried throughout the suite, and I remember hearing that she'd been asked to tone it down, or else. She was a happy person, and she smiled and laughed a lot, a very pleasant person hiding a lot, no doubt. She came here one night to watch a "Survivor" finale, maybe the first season, and she took pleasure in 'mussing' things, moving my perfect arrangements of this and that, an area rug in the kitchen, or a stack of this or that. She wasn't the first, and she wasn't the last. I liked her, to a point, but her reliance on men was disturbing to me. She went from man to man to man, engaged to each in turn. I'll never forget her laugh though, and if I sucked in a lot of breath now, and weren't afraid to make a LOT of noise, I'd do it. I can mimic people, sometimes. Today I did something I've never done, in seven years working in the same office... I walked to lunch. We are located in a prime area for cheap shopping and fast food, and assorted Mexican restaurants, and I walked to the Wendy's, through the trailer park where the poultry abattoir workers live. And I thought it would be much nicer, for them, for me, if they'd take a little pride in their living quarters, spruce things up a bit, splash some colorful paint around, or just put up some curtains, open their blinds, rake their dirt. I never eat in fast food establishments, I'm a drive-thru junkie, but it's nice to walk up, which no one does, trust me, and order, sit down to eat, take my time, and then walk back to work. I should do it again before this job is over and done. Speaking of, we were warned today of a new ground for immediate dismissal. Or is it grounds, regardless? Ground, grounds? Either way, we need to be hush hush around the right people, or wrong people around whom not to be. And we are being pushed to find other employment, and yet I am still not sure what I want to do. Time, there is time, more than I thought. Ahhh, and the car? Remains to be seen. One or two more rides and I call the mechanic to thank him. Now is caution. Later caution gets thrown to the wind. I'm already thinking of birthday presents for me. Things I want to give myself. And yet, I live by the horoscopes, constantly seeking to know the future, but why? I feel I need to know, and no astrologer can tell me for certain, I know this, but the Cainer 'scope for tomorrow talks of how I've indulged and I need to accept it or something. I didn't indulge, I am frugal, that is the point. Unless I go crazy this weekend, but then again, I am broke right now, so what's that about? To wit: Are you paying the price for recent indulgence? Have you dug yourself a hole you can't get out of? Should you have been more restrained? Perhaps, but it's no use crying over spilt milk. Especially when you've got a mop and bucket handy. Besides which, the milk needed spilling. The jug was too full. You are not to punish yourself this weekend. Nor are you to worry. Nor are you to let others tell you what to do. Er - that's an order! I can't believe tomorrow is Friday. I have so much I need to do. Two new tires, emissions testing, Gladys' lump, cleaning, heavy duty cleaning, and ridding, the getting rid of things, and recycling, and ack, chores. Just chores. This is all just me thinking aloud. I'm so tired, but I want to stay up to see Rather on Letterman. Cost of the War in Iraq
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