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Wednesday, Apr. 14, 2004 / 6:29 p.m. ~Steal This Idea~ Wha shew! Seems I've been a bit sidetracked. I met a boy online last Saturday, and got a bit excited, and met him in person last night, and you know that moment, that first second, he opened the door to his home, I saw his face, and that was all I needed. Bad, bad, big mistake, big huge mistake, we can't know these things until they happen. It's all about risk and chances and that's the way it is. I'm retreating, but not with tail between my legs, I'm feeling I want to surround me with comfort and warmth and be what I can be. I'm thinking of the future, I'm thinking of me, and my future, with the cats, as long as they survive, which I hope is forever. We did watch Bush on TV, and that was good. I loved every minute of it, I loved watching George deliver his opening, then try to think on his feet, which is nearly impossible for him. Oh, how he stumbles and falls and rights himself after. It's not only humorous, it's fascinating. He is a treasure, and he has his own personal vocabulary. He has his own language. And he lives inside a plastic bubble filled with all his favorite things. He really believes in what he's doing, and he may not think he's made any mistakes, I believe he may be sincere, but he is beyond an idiot, he is sheltered and unreal. Again, fascinating, I could NOT get ENOUGH. I grabbed the remote and switched from FOX News, to CNN, to CNN Headline, to C-SPAN (where a caller said, "I think Bush is a religious cocksucker..." before being cut off), and back again and again, whilst this new boy tried to kiss me, and played with my hair like some frustrated stylist, and kissed my neck and I let him, but then I had to get away, my disgust was that severe. I cannot sex someone I have no attraction to/with at all. Nothing. Instantly I knew. I know these things. It's not about the ultimate in physical beauty, for beauty comes from so many places, it is so many things to so many people, but there is that something, and we call it 'chemistry' for lack of understanding and better words, some call it pheromones, and whatever it is, he didn't have any of them/it. Today I realize I should probably file my taxes. I'd rather not, but I suppose I'll call up, do the Tele-File thing again, the 15 minute phone call, one W-2, one job, one income, no deductions itemized, easy peasy, and I cut it so close I may owe a bit. I don't like the government taking my money all year and giving it back later. That's silly. Why do people allow that to happen? Keep your money, invest it if you can, earn some interest, don't let the government hang on to it, that's insane. Insane, silly, crazy. Oh, how Bush talked of FREEDOM, did you hear him? How many times did he use the word? Free. Freedom. Liberty. Liberate. Free. Secure. Security. Freedom. Secureedomfreeuritylibfreeuritydom. Kerry, Bush, it's insane/silly/crazy, as much as taxes. I had a proposal last night, it hit me rather suddenly, as the boy and I have great political chemistry, intellectual, just not physical, and we talked. He says we need more than two parties, and I agree, and I say, Well, that's odd that Americans can't seem to handle more than the two, just the two, when they love the variety available in all products they consume. Ahhhh, it hit me! Lightning bolt. Have many parties, political that is, and associate some great visual images with them, logos, if you will. Not just elephants for Republicans and donkeys for Democrats, but maybe Teddy Bears for Libertarians, or a Nike-like 'swoosh', and maybe a butterfly for the Greens, have a party with lizards as their logo and I will vote for THEM! Loves me the lizards. There would be mass marketing, clothing lines, posters, stickers, buttons, hats, magnets, mugs. You don't just vote for a candidate, oh no, you vote for a cute kitty or a green gecko, or a fluffy cuddly teddy bear to represent your government for four years. Now, who wouldn't vote then? People would rush out to choose their favorite logo. We could have 20 political parties, all with different marketing strategies. Why choose just based on who is better looking, or who is more articulate in the debates, which no one watches anyway? This is my idea. And give me credit if you steal and run with it. Thank you. Anything else? Yeah, let's see, file taxes, work is challenging, but I love a challenge, we all know that, I had a sort of epiphany lying in bed last night when I couldn't sleep - I want to own my own bungalow in five years, and I want to work for Turner Entertainment, I want to work behind the scenes for a television station. I do. And I don't want a man in my life, I'm sick of wanting men, and always ending up with the wrong ones. There was more in my five year goal plan, and I should write it all out for the New Moon/Solar Eclipse on the 19th - supposed to be really powerful for Aries folks. Oooh, I got sort of New Age-y for a minute there. Um, but yeah, so there. Oh, wait, I'm going to try watching "The Apprentice" tonight before "The Bachelor". I've never seen it, but everyone says I probably 'should'. So, okay then. I am in my pajamas already (more news, it was 37 last night, degrees fahrenheit - isn't that just SO wrong?), and I intend to eat a frozen stuffed flounder filet (heated, of course), and then maybe cheddar microwave popcorn, and one day soon I'll shop and cook again, on account of we all know I love to shop and cook, I just tend to forget that I love it. Things will be on track soon. I've been on a wild rollercoaster ride, a barge floating down The Nile, um, denial, and now I'm all about me, ME, ME, Me, and me. That's it, for now. Cost of the War in Iraq
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