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2001-07-14 / 11:19 p.m. ~Yet another Saturday~
I have some great sound bytes on my PC, really. I have the robot from "Lost in Space" saying "Warning, Warning" as my default sound, so when I type too much for the title of each of these pages, you know, the .html title, that's the sound I hear. It's just so perfect. When I first got my speakers for this PC I went kinda crazy with the .wav downloads, but a good kinda crazy. I have a rather large folder full of them now, everything from Lisa and Bart Simpson singing their version of the theme from "Shaft" to the themesong from "Green Acres" to some crazy porno movie bytes, i.e., "Mmmmm...keep that up and you're gonna make me come" - that's what I hear if someone calls me on my CallWave while I'm online. Unfortunately I don't get that many calls. It always cracks me up to hear it. But, that's all beside the point. And what is the point? I don't know, not much, another Saturday. Crystal called last night. People who are relegated to the past need to just stay there I think. When they come back to haunt me it's just too weird. I've moved on, I've written her off, she's gone, so why did she have to call and leave me some long and very drawn out message on my answering machine? She went on so long, her voice getting quieter, that my machine just said, Hey, that's enough, You ARE the weakest link, buh bye! Okay, tired joke already, I know, but that's how it seemed. It just cut her off, right at the point where she says, "I don't know, Joleen, but maybe you could just consider_". Consider what? Calling you? We've been through that. Oh, she is so sorry now. Why? She is sorry she wrote me all those nasty emails. I deleted them as soon as I read them - I don't remember what she said, really. It's gone, it's over, why does she want me in her life now? Is it to appease her own guilty conscience? Is that fair to me? Is it my role to make others feel better after they hurt me? Uh, let me think, NO! What am I supposed to do with this now? Do I call her? What would I say? "Hey, Crystal, it's Joleen. Aw, hun, don't feel bad, I hold no grudge, you okay? Good, bye now." Here's what I'm doing about it. Nothing. I'm not in love with this woman, we weren't bestest friends for years or anything, I only knew her for a few months. We went to some hockey games together, we talked on the phone a bit, wrote some email notes, hung out just a little bit, it didn't go that far, it wasn't that hard to let her go. I'm used to people coming and going, that's life, that's what life is all about, right? Sometimes I wish old boyfriends would do what she did, call and leave insanely long messages on my answering machine telling me how they woke up in the middle of the night worrying about me, thinking of me, wanting to apologize, and can't I just consider_? But they don't. Women do. What's up with that shit? So I slept 'til fucking 2:00 today! Isn't that wild? I just didn't want to get up at all. I think I was really depressed yesterday after sharing my photos with the gals, not getting back what I was giving. So maybe sleeping and dreaming, two cats right there in bed with me, pressed against me at times, was better than being upright and conscious. Leftover Thai takeout and lots of television. That's it. French movie marathon on Sundance channel. "The Bride Wore Black" was interesting, but not great. I think Francois Truffaut is overrated. And "Le Code Inconnu" was unwatchable, and I tried, Juliette Binoche and all. But hey, that show on The Learning Channel, "Scream Test", once you get past the constant reminders of the rules and regulations, instructions, etc., is actually pretty scary. These four people decide to spend the night in haunted locations, the first a mansion, the second a prison, all set in Australia, with "ghostbuster" kits... (Break in the regularly scheduled diary entry to note that I hear the voice of the Sportscaster who responded to my personal ad....he's doing his 'cast on the TV, and it's on in the next room. I hear him and think, ick, that's the guy, that's the sportscaster with the small mind, and I'm distracted.) Right, so these four people are in these haunted locations and they have to note electromagnetic field readings, and temp readings, and solve challenges, clues, etc., all the while pointing video cameras at themselves so we can watch them be scared, and one person "wins", but I don't think they actually "win" anything. They just "win". Like, Hey, I WON! No money or anything. But the prison thing, jeez, three out of four dropped out due to intense fear! Wow! It did look creepy as hell. Saturday is for television, for not getting dressed, for eating Thai food and trying not to let the cats hassle me too much (they do that when they have me captive all day). I wanted to go out earlier, just to walk, but I thought there's no way I'd go for a walk in this neighborhood, not alone. Great, huh? Cost of the War in Iraq
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Recent Entries: It Was 40 Years Ago Today - 9:44 a.m. , Friday, Oct. 12, 2012 Dead Black Cat - 9:07 a.m. , Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012 As Seen From Outer Space - 1:07 a.m. , Saturday, Dec. 05, 2009 I Survived to Tell the Tale - 7:29 a.m. , Friday, Sept. 18, 2009 Reading My Life - 12:55 p.m. , Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009 
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